they're playing a trick on me

I can't tell you how many blog posts have been interrupted during nap time recently... meaning that I've started about 15 posts that have never been posted... The fact that I am even starting this one is a success.

Let me tell you about nap time, and you tell me if you don't think my children are secretly scheming so that they can drive me crazy.  (This is not supposed to sound like complaining, more just like picture me running frantic through the house trying to get everyone to sleep so I can have 20 minutes of peace... and laugh because I fail about 95% of the time.)

Here's a timeline of 12pm - 2:30pm ish.

12PM - Time to feed Sam.  Henry realizes that mommy cannot 1- pay attention to him or 2- move, so he literally destroys the entire house.  I tell you the kid's goal in life is to take everything from where it actually belongs and put it where he thinks it belongs... THE FLOOR.  Mommy's thinking, "Why does it take you so long to eat, Sammy?"  By the time I finish feeding Sam, it's time for Henry to eat lunch say around...
12:20 PM- Feed Henry lunch, while Sam is in his bouncy chair and/or swing and/or both.  Sam is mostly happy, but then decides now would be the time to have a big poop.  Okay, sorry Henry, mommy has to change Sam's diaper, I'll be right back so you can finish eating lunch... In the 3 minutes it takes to change Sam's diaper, Henry finds more things to destroy... what, that pile of folded laundry is on the bed?  It should definitely go on the floor?  What, there's a clean pacifier sitting in Sam's bouncy seat?  I definitely need to put my hands all over it and throw it under the couch.  Somehow feeding Henry lunch and paying attention to Sam while he is awake takes a little bit of time... then it's time for mommy to eat lunch.
12:45ish - Mom eats lunch, but needs to entertain Henry, so she gets out the crayons.  But Henry doesn't want to color by himself, he wants mommy to color.  So she's trying to finish a bowl of salad, but she has to take a break every 20 seconds to pick up another crayon and color... no biggie.  But it takes awhile...
1:00 ish, mommy swaddles Sam and puts him in his swing and he starts to fall asleep.  Meanwhile, we get some milk in a cup for Henry that he drinks while we read books and/or watch a TV show together.
1:15- Sam is finally asleep, and it's time to put Henry in his room for a nap... not fun.  Mommy (and Daddy at bedtime) literally have to stand by his door and hold it with our hands until he falls asleep.  We hold the door handle in one hand and the monitor in the other to make sure Henry is falling asleep.  He will go back and forth from his bed to the door, from his bed to the door, hoping that at some point the door will open.  Usually he gives up after a few minutes and goes to sleep.  Today he finally gave up after about 20 minutes.  I got 20 seconds to go turn on the dryer (for the noise barrier, friends) and run to the bathroom before I started to hear Sam working up to a fuss... mainly just because he was stirring, but it doesn't matter... ONE cry, one tiny PEEP will ruin the whole thing and wake Henry up... so it's now like
1:40 ish- and I RUN to Sam in the swing, SHOVE the pacifier in his mouth, pick him up as fast as possible and RUN into my bathroom where I plug in my hair dryer and turn it on (it's still on right now at 2:15)  The blow dryer will block out Sammy's screaming and it calms him down, so it's a winner.  At this point I reswaddle Sam and put him down... funny that now that I actually have the nerve to let him cry for 5-10 minutes, I totally can't because I can't deal with Henry waking up.
1:50 - spend the next 10 minutes simultaneously watching the monitor, cleaning up the house that Henry has literally turned into a disaster area, and keeping Sam quiet while he stirs/sleeps etc.
2:00 - I pick up my computer to write this blog post, and Sam is still trying to get out that ONE peep that will wake Henry up and ruin it all... (I just turned the blow dryer back on, by the way)
2:26 - I am almost finished with this post and guess what!  It's time for Sam to eat again. :)  Yippee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So fun.  When Sam is finished eating, Henry will be ready to wake up from his nap.  LOVE it.

Okay but Sam can wait three minutes for me to tell you this awesome story from today.  We were in Target this morning because I just had to get out of the house buying things I legitimately needed.  All was well, but then something happened and Sam decided it was time to GO.  He was supposed to be sleeping, not due for eating for another 45 minutes... so I don't know what that was about.  Anyway, he started crying, which got the attention of another mom who exclaimed to her children, "Oh that is a really little baby!  That's a newborn cry!"  So as I am sticking his paci in his mouth, she asks me, "How old is he?"  "Six weeks and very loud," I answer, as the pacifier totally fails me and does not get him to calm down.  And then I tell you the truth, she looked straight at my chest and said, "I bet that [referring to the cry] is triggering a letdown."  Umm.  Okay, woman!  Really?  For the record, NO, it was not triggering a letdown. And is it just me or is that a weird/ mildly inappropriate thing to say to a stranger?  Okay.  And let me just say that I RUSHED to the checkout line, and as soon as I payed, Sam decided he was just fine and stopped crying.

Wait, I kid you not.  It's now 2:35, and Henry just walked into my room having woken up from his nap 45 minutes early.  Oh it's true.  He fell back asleep on my bed in less than 5 minutes, but there's no way he gets his full nap in now that Sam needs to eat. Thankfully today I am laughing about it... some days I have literally started crying, other days I have gotten a bit too angry.

I gotta go. Sam's about to lose it. BYE!