the day I gave his toys away...

It's almost Christmas, which means that in order for me to maintain sanity, I HAD to clean out some toys before we get inevitably receive a fresh batch.  I filled three small boxes with toys that the boys don't really play with, and were basically just taking up space, and put them in the back of my car for a goodwill drop off.

Well.  My original plan was to take the toys when the boys were not with me, but I realized that the longer they sat in the back of my car, the likelier it was that Henry would find them... so I took the first opportunity I had, and the boys and I headed to Goodwill last Saturday. I had a plan to discreetly drop the toys, purposely keeping them out of the boys' sight.

Until I arrived, and the nice man offered to help me carry the boxes - he had no reason to be discreet.  Henry immediately realized that his toys were being given away, and... TEARS.  Big ones.  Crocodile tears.  For like 15 minutes straight, and then off and on for a couple of hours after that he cried, and repeatedly said, "I want my animals back."  (Sadly, I don't even remember which "animals" I gave away, but I am pretty sure he was referring to some stuffed animal baby toys.)  I had a brief moment of, "Maybe I should get them back," but it was too late.

Wow.  I have to be honest, I had nooooo idea he would take it so hard.  I felt really bad.  Maybe I should have told him that's what we were doing?  Maybe I should have explained to him beforehand why we were giving them away.  Regardless, the counseling started after the damage had been done.

I had to put myself in his shoes.  In Henry's world, his toys really do belong to him.  And in his world, those toys are pretty much all he has.  Of course as the parent, I know that he doesn't really own them because I own them, and I know that he can be happy without them. After all, he has parents and family that adore him.  But then, how would I feel if my stuff just started getting taken away from me without my permission?

Let's be honest, I get grumpy when Matt takes a sip of my drink without asking. 

And I realized how much I just want to put a bandage over the sore and make the crying stop.  I just wanted him to feel better- during those few 20 minutes I was tempted to 1- buy him another toy, 2- give him candy, 3- tell him all the 100s of reasons why he would be okay and just needed to stop crying.  But I realized that he needs to learn how to just be sad.  So I told him, "Henry, it's okay to be sad."

Don't we need to learn the same lesson?  Life has sorrow and joy all mixed in... we are missing out on it if we only let ourselves feel the joy.  Sometimes we just need to let ourselves grieve, to let it be okay that we are sad. Instead I think I often try to bandage my wounds with distractions and things that don't really solve the problem, just like I was tempted to do for Henry.

Oddly enough, the minute I told him it was okay to be sad, he cheered up a little.

I learned more about the nature of my Heavenly Father through this little incident.  For one, God knows that in order for me to be happy, I need far less than I think I do.  If he chooses for whatever reason to take things or people away, he knows that as long as he is my Daddy, I have all I need.  And although in my world, I really think I am entitled to some of these things, my Father knows that they all really belong to him anyway.

But when I lose things or get upset, even though he knows I don't need them, he never just tells me to just get over it.  When Jesus's friends on earth grieved, he grieved alongside them.  When Mary and Martha lost their brother, Lazarus, Jesus wept. Jesus himself GRIEVED.  I think God may be more accepting of our own sadness than we are.

I feel like I should tie up this story with a pretty bow.  So here it is- Henry hasn't mentioned the toys once since that day.  I know he hasn't forgotten (and I might never drive him through Goodwill again), but it looks like the little guy is gonna be just fine.  I know you were wondering. :)

Dentist | TWO Year Old | 20 Weeks

Three big things happened in our little family this weekend.

1.  On Thursday, Henry got his cavities filled.  Fortunately, he was cooperative and the whole process went really well.  However, they had to sedate him to make it all possible, so our sweet three-year old was basically equivalent to drunk.  We got videos.

For the record, drugged Henry, a) insists he can walk when he can't, b) affectionately tells me, "Mom, I looooooovvvve you."

2.  On Sunday, Sam turned TWO!  Although he insists that he is still one.  We say, "Sammy, you're TWO." "No! I'm one!" he responds.  Sam went for his well check on Friday, and continues to be shorter and lighter than his brother.  He is 28lb 10oz (60%), and he was 50-60% in height.  Henry is always 95% in both.  Sam's personality is blossoming, and he constantly makes us laugh.

Such a sweet little stinker.

3.  I am officially 20 weeks pregnant TODAY.  Wow, that's gone by fast. :)  I still don't feel like I am showing, but fortunately I've been feeling lots of movement for about 2 weeks now, so I know there really is a baby in there.

Please ignore the j-u-n-k all over our bedroom.  This isn't a great pic, but I wanted to wear the same shirt as last time for reference.

First Day Recap

Apologies for faking you all out with the "not-gender-reveal" yesterday. That was completely unintentional. Well, Sam went to school today, and apart from a total meltdown when I dropped him off, his teacher, Ms. Kelly, said he had a great day!

I couldn't get him by himself for a picture this morning.  Don't judge me for the crocs that clash with his pants.  It's like 85 degrees here today.

We celebrated his successful first day with some Amy's. Yum.

In other news, I tried to satisfy a chocolate craving last night by making a "Brownie in a Mug."  (Thank you, Pinterest, I would never think of these things apart from you.)  Don't let the picture fool you - it LOOKS like it was a success, but that brownie did not taste wonderful. 

It doesn't look too bad...

The peppermint ice cream was the best part.  I didn't get much further into the mug than that.

You're welcome.  Happy Tuesday.

here's what's happening in our neck of the woods...

I can't really think of anything interesting off the top of my head, so I thought I'd just give you a general rundown of what life is like with us lately.  Bullet-point-style.

• Sam starts his first day of preschool tomorrow!  Long story, but after turning down TWO Tues/Thurs openings this fall, we finally bit the bullet, and took the THIRD opening, so Sammy will go to school with Henry tomorrow!  I think all three of us are equally excited! (And mommy might be a teeeeeeny bit sad.)
• I won't be finding out the sex of our baby until I am 23.5 weeks pregnant. (I am 19 weeks today.) And yes, the wait is killer.  Basically, we switched insurance as of 12/1, but the deductible resets on Jan 1. Sooo, we decided to wait till the new year for that big 20 week appointment!  Patience is a virtue, friends.
• I ended up making green bean casserole on Thanksgiving, despite the fact that Matt told me earlier in the week how much he doesn't like it.  He said it was good.
• I think I've decided that being about 20 weeks pregnant in the middle of the holiday season is an AWESOME time to be pregnant.  SERIOUSLY.  Because you are nesting, but you still have energy to do stuff.  So, I've been cooking, keeping up with laundry (TIMES 1000 because of a lice scare but that's another story), and cleaning out closets, decorating, etc. like crazy!!!  My whole house got dusted the other day, and I'm pretty sure that hasn't happened since my mom was here last.  (Evidence: When Henry saw me dusting he goes, "Hey! That's what Honey does!")  No shame.
• Matt accidentally dropped our crock pot and broke it about a month ago (while he was cleaning it, dear man), and I'm not sure how I have lived without it, but I think I'm gonna go pick up a new one like tonight.
• Against my better judgment, I am throwing Sam a birthday party.  I am a hypocrite because last year I said I was done with them.  He turns TWO on Sunday.  Can you believe it?
• One of the things I plan to do tomorrow (while both boys are in school) is cut the number of toys we have in our house by at least a third- but maybe in half.  Anyone know a good place to donate toys?
• Did I tell y'all the success story of how we finally got our kids to go to sleep at a decent hour without our help?  Since I haven't been blogging, I know haven't told you... Well, our kids are now in their rooms and falling asleep by 7:30 every night, and this has been h-e-a-v-e-n-l-y.  We now spend this time a) communicating -aka awesome, b) eating a peaceful dinner together, c) working (me, on a Bible study I'm writing, Matt, on work stuff), or d) watching TV together.

Well, considering I had nothing to say, that was a decently long post.  Here's some pics of the kids' first trip to the dentist to hold you over till next time!

Sam had to be held the whole time.  No way he was cooperating with those people.

Henry was an awesome patient, as usual, but he got his mama's teeth. (Cavity in between the two front teeth? Yes.)