Thankful: Day 30 [Community]

Were you afraid I wasn't going to finish?  Waited till almost the last hour, but I made it!

Today, I am thankful for community.  For best friends, family, family friends, my church and my small group, my mom's group and all the people that God has placed in my life...

Who rejoice when I rejoice, who mourn when I mourn, who are just there.

Confession.  I sometimes wish I could be best friends with everyone.  And sometimes I even get upset when I see other friendships form around me because I long for community with everyone.  Yes, I am guilty.  I want to know people well and I want people to know me well. 

But today I was thinking that God HAS given me the best of friends, the best of family, a community to love and that loves me.  So, to wrap of this thankfulness series- I am thankful for friends and community - all of them.  Or should I say, all of you?  You know who you are!

Thankful: Day 29 [Sleep]

"Unless the Lord builds the house,

its builders labor in vain.

Unless the Lord watches over the city,

the watchmen stand guard in vain.

In vain you rise early

and stay up late,

toiling for food to eat—

for he grants sleep to those he loves." 

Psalm 127:1-2

"I will lie down and sleep in peace,

for you alone, O Lord,

make me dwell in safety."

Psalm 4:8

Thankful: Day 28 [Feeling Justified]

Most of you were probably not around to pay much attention to my most recent hair debacle over the Thanksgiving holiday - which is a good thing for me.  The drama and recovery are chronicled here and here, in case you missed it.

Anyway, I will have everyone know that I got it fixed on Saturday, and it looks much better.  Based on all the comments, I know you were very, very concerned.  (That or you're thinking, "Shut your mouth about the hair already!") HOWEVER...

Let me just say that the truth has come out NOW, after the crisis has been averted.  You see, I went to dinner with my most honest father and brother on Saturday night after everything was better.  At that point my dad said with some serious emphasis, "Oh, your hair looks MUCH better.  It looked really bad yesterday compared to this."  I almost thought he was just joking to poke fun at my overreaction (which he actually knew nothing about), but I kept asking him "Are you joking, or serious?" And it turns out, he meant it.  He admitted that he didn't think it looked "that bad" until he compared the old, messed up hair, with the newly improved hair.  My dad's wife at that point felt free to comment that she agreed it also looked much better now, etc.

So you see, people probably really didn't think my hair looked bad, but this just proves that my suspicions were accurate. Fortunately, Matt is not very observant, like at all, so I could look like I got hit by a train or an ugly stick, and he'd be happy regardless.

I am thankful to feel like it wasn't all in my head.  Thankful for the stylist who was really sweet to fix it for me and not take too much offense...  Thankful for the honesty of my male family members who have at times told me that I look "grungy" and other really nice adjectives like that.  Matt could never get away with such honesty.

Happy Monday!!!  Only two more days of this thankfulness series, and I can't lie and say I am not happy about it because I'm tired of hearing myself talk.

Thankful: Day 27 [Real Peace and Real Rest]

Confession.  I only really clean my house when my mother in law (I shorten it to MIL and FIL) is about to come over.  I used to clean for my church group, but now that they've been coming each week for three years, I am over trying to put on a good front for them.  They know the dirt in my heart, so why can't they see the dirt on my bathroom floor?

Matt's parents just started coming to our house sometime in the last year.  They come almost every week to babysit.  Which means Friday is cleaning day.  I used to get a little frantic trying to clean for them because, to be honest, my MIL might be the cleanest person on the planet.  (She will not take off her shoes in hotel rooms, she is constantly cleaning bathrooms, doing laundry, scrubbing the floor on her hands and knees - or making my FIL do it all for her.) (P.S. We have a good relationship - no need to worry she will take offense to any of that.)

Anyway, another confession.  Sometime this summer I realized just how sinful this "freak out," frantic cleaning actually is... because what I'm doing is trying to gain approval (or realistically just not lose approval) from other people, in this case my MIL.

I already have ultimate approval from God through Jesus.  I do not need anyone else's approval.  So what does this mean?  Does this mean that I just let my house get sloppy and never clean again?  No absolutely not.  What I was thinking about last night and this morning is that because I do already have approval, and because I do not have to earn it from anyone in any form, I can clean my house in a different way - a free and relaxed way.  I can have peace before I clean my house, while I clean my house, and after I leave my house with my MIL still in it, even if I don't clean it perfectly or have time to accomplish all of the cleaning I want.  Whereas, when I don't trust in the approval I have from God, I can only have peace after I have sufficiently cleaned my house.  It turns out that chores and cleaning can actually be enjoyable in themselves when you don't try to complete them out of an unmet need for approval or control.

An another example of this is working out and body image.  In my deepest heart, I really actually do enjoy to run, to workout, and to compete.  But you want to know what sucks the joy right out of running?  When I feel like I absolutely must run in order to be fit, in order to look good, in order to get approval from people.  On the other hand, if I believe that I have approval, on every single level, from God through Christ, then I no longer feel the need to workout in order to meet a need for approval but because that need is already met.

Does that mean I shouldn't workout?  Does that mean I should not try to run or to compete in races or to enjoy physical activity? No. It means I lose the frantic need to workout (or ironically, as is often my case, the lazy rebellion of not working out because doing it for approval is so dang exhausting), and replace it with a peaceful, restful, enjoyable working out/running/what have you.

Before Jesus started his ministry at the transfiguration, God said concerning him, "This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased..." When Jesus died for me, the pleasure God had in his Son Jesus got transferred to me.  Now he is pleased with me.  This is what I am thankful for today.  Real rest, real peace that comes from real and total approval from God through Jesus. 

Thankful: Day 26 [Litte man is 21 months!]

It's the 26th, which means Henry is officially 21 months.  He will not be 22 months before he becomes a big brother. SO WEIRD.  I am so thankful for our sweet little baby and the 21 months we have gotten to be his parents.

This was taken today at the park. :)

Ignore the burnt orange.

We are sad it didn't get cold soon enough for Henry to wear this hand me down letter jacket more.  It's too small now.

Apologies for the ugly clothing he has on.

Taken a couple of weeks ago at the park.  He loves to hang from these rings.

I'll do my best to write a somewhat brief account of what he's up to these days.  But let's be honest, it probably won't be brief.  Those of you who are not great grandparents, grandparents, aunts, or uncles can feel free to skim and/or skip the rest of this post.  Although I can't possibly understand who wouldn't want to obsess over my child. JK.

Talking.  He talks so much, and is starting more and more to put words and phrases together.  He needs an interpreter (me or Matt) for about 50% of his words, but I definitely see some improvement in a lot of pronunciations, so that's good.

I think the funniest word he says is "cold."  He says, "duuuuuuke."  No one except mommy and daddy know that he is saying "cold."

Another popular phase is "hop duum" which means "hop down" which actually means "stand up from the chair you are sitting in and follow me to wherever I want to go."  He got "hop down" because whenever we sit on the couch and he wants off, I ask him if he wants to hop down.

He can also recall activities from the day.  For instance, after he and Matt got home from the basketball game the other night, I asked him if he had fun at the game, and he started telling me everything he saw there... "Band, slam dunk, Mary!!" ("Mary" is his aunt, and she dances on the drill team for her high school - so Henry calls all dancers "Mary.")  If they go to the park, he tells me about the slide and the swing.  I find it amazing that kids this age can already remember so much.

He mimics me... I realize how much I use the filler, "Ummm."   It's almost embarrassing because I'll be in a situation when I am about to say it, and he will say right before I was about to say it.

He also recognizes certain parking lots and places we frequent, so when we pull into the Taco Deli parking lot on Saturday mornings he says, "TACOS!"  He knows a lot of our familiar places.  When we leave the Starbucks drive through, he says "Eat!"  (This is because sometimes when I get coffee, I will get him a pumpkin loaf or something for us to share.)

Playing.  He loves to jump. Today we took him to an indoor trampoline park (for lack of a better description), and he LOVED it.  The kid was so excited.  He jumps pretty well on solid ground now, but also likes to jump off of furniture (dangerous) and off of curbs, etc.  And of course, he loves jumping on his bed.

He still loves his toys, which I am thankful for - they could easily feel like a waste of money AND space, but he actually will sit and play with them.  He also loves any and every kind of ball, blocks, toy animals and even stuffed animals.  In fact, he shows A LOT of affection towards his stuffed animals - hugs and kisses them a lot.

Matt's ipad has proven to be the problem toy - aka the toy he is most addicted to, and the one we have to actually hide from him.  However, I will say that the ipad is to credit for teaching Henry almost all of his colors and shapes.  They have tons of educational apps for all ages.  We are cheap, so we get the free ones.  Since he has colors and shapes (mostly) down, we are going to start working on letters.

Henry is also obsessed with books - so much so that Matt and I are ready for him to have some new ones... I'm pretty sure we have all of them memorized at this point. (The other night Matt was reading goodnight moon, but obviously slipped into autopilot when he said, "And there were two little mittens and a pair of kittens."  In case you don't have the book memorized, it reads, "...two little kittens and a pair of mittens.")  So yes, Henry will be getting new books for Christmas this year.

Eating.  Henry has a sweet tooth.  The two of us together all day makes for a very dangerous pair.  He loves his sugary condiments - jelly, ketchup, honey, brown sugar, etc.  The upside to this is that he also loves fruit.  And also, we can use some of the sugar to get him to eat healthy stuff (like I sneak veggies into quick breads and spaghetti sauce, etc.)

I would love for him to eat more vegetables, but for now I spend a decent amount of time figuring out how to sneak them into his food.  The best we've accomplished is getting him to eat a TON of spinach hidden beneath layers of cheese and sauce on a pizza.  I have also cooked and pureed mushrooms to add to pizza and quesadillas which has been successful.  Baby food veggies have also been added into soups and sauces.  It's the best I can do.  I would also love for him to eat more beans, nuts, etc.  We'll work on it.  He's skeptical of new foods, so it's difficult to get him to try new stuff.

Ever since I watched Food, Inc. I've been pretty picky about what kind of meat he gets to eat, but that's been easy since Matt and I are eating the good stuff too.  I am proud to say that he has only eaten at Chick-Fil-A ONE time since I watched that movie.  I really did not want him to, but we were going with a group of friends, and I'd rather eat Chick-Fil-A every now and then than be a psycho and sacrifice the community aspect of food.

He's also very independent when he eats.  Sometimes he won't eat if he's in a highchair because he just wants to sit like a big boy... or he wants to feed himself something that is so messy that we know will end up all over his hair and the floor.  This can sometimes be a problem in public - we are still trying to figure out which battles to pick with him.

Sleeping.  Still a great sleeper.  We are at about 11.5 hours a night (much better than this summer when he was sleeping like 10 a night) plus a 1hr, 45 min nap each day.  Doing great on the big boy bed - he's only woken up on the floor a handful of times. :)


I know I am leaving stuff out, but that's to be expected.  Once again, so thankful for this little man and the smiles, laughter, and joy he brings us every single day.

Thankful: Day 25 [Went to sleep at half.]

Today I am thankful I went to sleep after halftime last night.

I have not watched an Aggie football game all year long, and I had a bad feeling about that football game yesterday.  We watched the first half at Matt's parent's house, which was more than I wanted to watch, but it was fine.  Then we got home at the start of the second half.  While I was putting Henry to sleep in his room, the Aggies were destroying themselves.  When I came back in the room, I took one look at the TV, saw that tu had taken the lead and that Tannehill had a look of fear in his eyes, and I made the very wise decision to not stay up for the rest of the dumb game. 

And that's a good thing because at 5:45 AM Matt got up to go to the bathroom, and that's when I asked him if the Aggies lost, and he confirmed my suspicions.  My blood pressure shot up immediately, for sure.  It was best not to have had it elevated for the entire rest of the second half last night. Then I checked my phone, and I had a couple of "rub-it-in" messages from my tea-sip friends who apparently really needed a confidence boost. Hope you got what you were looking for.

You know, on second thought, maybe if I had stayed up, I would have gone into labor...  Nah.  Still thankful I went to sleep.  I think I'll also stay away from Facebook for a few days - no need to watch the tea-sips gloat.  Bad for blood pressure.

Thankful: Day 24 [Your sins are forgiven!]

Happy Thanksgiving!  I think I have mostly recovered from the drama that went down yesterday, and this post will shed more light on that.  I think it just might speak to you, too, so if you feel like you are in need of grace, read on. :)  (Oh, and feel free to laugh at the previous post from this point on.)

I couldn't sleep this morning, and so I got up and started to read this book, into which I am only three chapters deep, but each chapter is so good that I've read them all twice.

 

God decided that he would be full of grace towards me, even just a few hours after I wrote last night's post.  When is he not full of grace towards me?  But you get what I'm saying.

Keller, in his book, is basically preaching through the book of Mark, and the chapter I just read was from Mark 2:5, Jesus tells a paralytic that has come to him to be healed, "Son, your sins are forgiven."  Keller has a brilliant commentary on the whole story, which was particularly fitting for me today, considering my severe overreaction to a bad hair coloring experience.  Without sharing too much detail from the book, Keller points out how we come to Jesus to get our problems fixed, and Jesus graciously chooses to first focus on solving our biggest, deepest problem - our sin against Him. 

I could keep sharing more about what Keller had to say, but as soon as I read those words straight from scripture, "Your sins are forgiven."  It was everything I could do to not pick up my computer immediately to share with you how thankful I am that it's TRUE!  Is there a better thing to be thankful for on Thanksgiving Day?  I do not think so.

Psalm 32:1-2 "Blessed (or happy) is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man against whom the LORD counts no iniquity..."

You see, what's is even more upsetting to me about the fact that my hair got screwed up yesterday is that I care way, way too much about the whole thing.  Quite honestly, I wish that I did not care, that I would not get upset, and that I could just laugh about it and move on and let Jesus be enough for me...  I hate that my overreaction points to deeper insecurities, deeper problems.  I hate that even though God has given me grace upon grace, victory upon victory in the vanity department (and he has), that I still can go ballistic like that.

So what does Jesus do?  Does he say, "You bad, sinful, brat you!  Don't you know that there's people out there who can't afford to eat on Thanksgiving, and you are upset about your hair!?"  No.  He tenderly, graciously comes to me in the morning, and says, "Dear child, it is okay. Your sins are forgiven.  I love you."  Ah. Forgiveness. Exactly what I need.

Oh, and then he proves it by living righteously in my place, dying in my place, and coming back to life.

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" 1 John 3:1

"God shows his own love for us in this, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

"In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation (or atoning sacrifice) for our sins." 1 John 4:10

So, on Thanksgiving Day, I am elated, overjoyed, BEYOND thankful that in Christ, I have redemption, the forgiveness of sins!  To the praise of his glorious grace!

Thankful: Day 23 [Umm.]

I had plans to write this post earlier on in the day.  I was going to say I was thankful that I was getting my hair highlighted today.  A sneak peak into my vanity - I had a small, secret fear that the baby would decide to come before I had a chance to get my hair highlighted and the roots were looking pretty bad.  Not that anyone cares.

Fast forward to now, and I would actually be much happier if I could have the baby with the hair I had before 4:30 PM today... roots and all.

Long story short - my normal girl (of like five years) got moved to another salon, so instead of going to her - which I should have done - I figured she left my formula in the computer and just went to the chick they were sending all of her old clients to.  (I know that sentence isn't right, and I don't care.)  Except my girl didn't leave my formula in the computer, and apparently "highlights" to me is equivalent to this new chick's "BANANA BLONDE." Ugh.

I'm not gonna lie, if I let myself, I could still tear up about it right now.  I've actually been crying an embarrassing amount tonight.  Okay, I still am.

Let me qualify all this by saying that I know my hair does not look THAT bad, and that probably no one will notice or care.  However, I do notice and care, and to be honest, I don't really mind if you like my hair or not - I want to like it.  So the problem is really with me and my attitude... I get that.  I take that back, if I am being honest, I do care if you like my hair, but if I don't like it, I won't believe that you like it, even if you say that you do... so it doesn't really end up mattering if you like it or not. Got that? Good.

So anyway, when you are really pregnant- weighing way more than you feel comfortable weighing and your five year old nephew is calling you fat because he doesn't know any better... and people are commenting about how you are breathing too heavy... and other people are commenting about how BIG your certain unmentionable body parts are (which you hate and already feel self-conscious about), you want to do SOMETHING to feel attractive. Or at least I do.  Call me immature or vain or whatever- I realize my issues - just being honest here. (Funny in light of yesterday's post, but whatever.)

So yeah, when I walk in the salon as a brunette with blonde highlights, tell the lady that I want "the exact same as last time," and leave looking like pregnant Barbie, I'm probably not going to handle it so well.

You might be wondering what this has to do with being thankful.  And well, I am trying to figure it out too.  So, off the top of my head, even though I am crying, even though my husband has no idea how in the world this situation could possibly justify so much drama, and even though I am angry that this happened and that I might possibly have to face the girl again because I'm not sure I can live with my new hair color.... I will find things to be thankful about even though I'm not quite passed the "pissed off" stage... (Forgive me for being so blunt.)

1. Thankful that no one cares about my hair more than me.
2.  Thankful that situations like this actually do unveil sins in my heart - and things that matter far, far too much for me.  It's not really fun, but at least when God shows me that dirt, I have hope that he will also free me from it.
3.  Thankful that in two or three weeks I won't be breathing too hard, or being called fat by five year olds.  Wish I could say that the unmentionable body parts would be getting smaller, too, but we all know that's not what happens...
4. Thankful that I have a blog - writing about this has been therapeutic.  I am definitely over-sharing.  Oh well.  I'll regret it when some random person at my ten year HS reunion next year comes up to me and tells me that they read my blog.  For now I'll just be thankful that writing this post has given me some temporary sanity.
5.  Thankful for Henry.  I managed to stop crying enough to read him some books, say prayers and put him to bed.  He is a great distraction from myself.

I think that's good enough.  I also would like to add that mirrors are the devil.  With that, I am going to go apologize to my husband for being a psycho.  Good night!

Thankful: Day 22 [Things I'm Tempted to Complain About]

Thanks to waaaaaay too much caffeine yesterday (don't judge), I am up at 3:05 AM.  I should go back and add a label too all the posts written between the hours of 2AM and 5AM.  Chances are, I wouldn't have much of a blog if it were not for my insomnia.

Anyway, today I am choosing to be thankful for things that I am most often just tempted to complain about.  Isn't it amazing that even when we are totally blessed beyond blessed, we can still find the negative about things?  I will look on the dark side no more...

I am thankful for Matt's job.  I am thankful for the obvious things about it like the fact that we have food on the table and I can stay home with Henry and it requires no travel and is very flexible.  I am so spoiled for sure.  So spoiled that when, once in a blue moon, Matt has to be there early or stay "late" for a meeting, I manage to find a way to complain.  And while we're on the topic, Matt is pretty amazing when it comes to drawing work boundaries - even though I know he is incredibly busy and could easily work 20 hours a week more than he actually does.  He is so great to get off early so he can see and play with Henry.  He tries to wait till Henry wakes up in the morning to leave.  He gets off in the middle of the day if I have a Dr. appointment... or a hair highlight. :)  And, he's even taken Henry to work with him when I've been sick before.  Not only that, but he still makes time to workout (not as much as he'd like), to spend time with me, and to spend time with the Lord.  So, God forgive me, when I complain about this blessing of a job and blessing of a husband.

Since that was so long, I'll go with just one more.  Maybe tomorrow I will continue this theme.

Anyway, the other thing I will choose to be thankful for today is my pregnant body.  It's no secret that weighing almost 35 extra pounds is not really my idea of a good time.  I avoid cameras, wear black almost everyday, and try not to look in the mirror.  But, how often do I forget what my body is accomplishing with that weight?  I mean, first of all, I got pregnant. A gift in itself.  Then tack on the fact that my body is literally supporting a life.  I need to do a lot less grumbling and a lot more thanking.  (I'll have to remember this when I am breastfeeding too.  I am not one of those whose weight just "melts" off when I am nursing.  In fact, I'd say the opposite - that nursing 1, makes me hold onto about five more pounds and 2, makes me certifiably insane hormonally.)  So, with all that, I am thankful for extra blood, extra water, placenta, seven pounds of baby (Dr. estimate as of yesterday) in my uterus, and even the extra fat that comes along with all of it.

And, even though it's kind of scaring me right now, I am thankful for the fact that there is torrential downpour outside!  Always thankful for rain in Austin, Texas.

Thankful: Day 21 [More Lists]

• Music.  Specifically the song "Tarzan Boy."  You may lose respect for me after I've admitted to liking that song, but for some reason it puts a smile on my face.  I heard it at a restaurant when I was on a date w/ Matt sometime this Summer, and I immediately Shazam-ed it, and then downloaded it.  And back in the summer when I was not sedentary still working out a lot, it got me through many a flight of stairs on the stair master.  I don't deny that I am a nerd.

• Crafty and creative people.  While I am not one, I can appreciate those of you who are.  And I will not lie, I CAN be inspired.  For now, however, I am going to concentrate on getting pictures up all over my walls, which have literally been bare since we moved in our house almost FIVE years ago. Man I am old.

• People who don't like Starbucks.  I am thankful for people who don't like Starbucks and here's why.  I'm sure most of you, whether you drink coffee or not, have received a Starbucks gift card sometime in your lifetime.  Well, what are people who don't like coffee and/or don't "speak" Starbucks language going to do with Starbucks gift cards?  Obviously they are going to give them to their addict friends.  For example, my friend, Rita (not her real name), who is preggo and due exactly one week before me, recently re-gifted me a very generous Starbucks gift card, and I am not sure I could be more happy w/ any other re-gift ever.  So there you have it.

• Short work weeks.  Family time.  Thanksgiving.

• Dramatic toddler.  I'm not sure if I've told you that Henry really plays up his injuries.  Matt tells him that he is already a perfect soccer player (because I guess soccer players are very dramatic about their injuries).  When Henry bumps his finger, he immediately will grab it, put on a frowny face and say in a whiny voice, "Hinger!" (Finger).  The funniest is that he sometimes gets his knees confused with his elbow, so he will grab his knee and go, "Elbooooow."  And we always look at him (probably reinforcing the drama), and say, "Did you hurt your [insert body part]?"  (And by the way, not only does he play up real injuries, but he fakes injuries and pretends to be hurt when he is not.)  Anyway, last night he fell off of my bed, face first, onto the ground and got a really ugly blue knot on his head as a result.  It was ugly, and not a fun fall.  Anyway, for the rest of the night, even after it was clear that he was feeling better, he'd grab his head and say, "BUUUUUUMP, HEEAAD!"  Really I can't do the drama justice.  But I am going to say I'm thankful for it because it is just so funny and provides endless entertainment.

Thankful: Day 20 [Refining Relationships]

Marriage, children, family, extended family, close-knit community.  These relationships are so good, and yet, at the very same time, these relationships are the ones that have the potential to drive us off the wall in a matter of nanoseconds.  The closer we get to people, the more friction we are likely to experience.  

I'd guess that a large majority of frustration in these tight-knit relationships comes because we want other people to be all about us.

Examples (Not that these have ever really happened):

I don't want to be embarrassed in public by my fussy (sweet, but fussy) toddler.  Can't he understand that mommy needs to look like she has it all together in the parenting department?  Not to mention that I really just don't want to bother with his behavior.  So, really, Henry's behavior (in my mind) becomes not about him, or about God, but about me.

Or, I am pregnant (if you haven't gathered that).  Therefore I must not do any work if Matt someone else is available to do it for me.  And clearly, I should never have to ask him to help me- I thought I married a mind reader?  Obviously it's okay for me to feel like a great injustice has been done to me when I have to bend over (pregnant) and pick up Henry's blocks and sippy cups.  Can't Matt SEE that I am pregnant?  Nevermind all the work he's got going today. This is about me.  I AM PREGNANT.

I'm thankful for these relationships today for a specific reason, and that reason is this: These relationships serve as a reminder (a sometimes inconvenient reminder) that the world does not revolve around me but around Someone greater than me.  So when I feel the friction- when I find myself unjustifiably (or in rare cases, justifiably) frustrated- with the people that God has placed closest to me, I can move my attention from myself  (and my supposed unmet needs) to Jesus and find the freedom that comes when I choose to revolve around Him instead.

If I do not want to be miserable and angry, then these relationships force me not to dwell on all of my unmet needs, and instead dwell on Jesus, who died in my place and met all of my eternal needs.  They force me to ignore "injustices" done to me and concentrate on the grace of God towards me.  Then I am free to truly love, forgive, and enjoy these people that God has placed in my life- so that hopefully they, too, can revolve around Him.

If I do want to be miserable, I could continue to insist that all these people revolve around me, but who wants to be miserable?

Thank God that He is greater than me.  It's worth it to center my life around Him.  And thank you, Lord, for these refining relationships.

Thankful: Day 19 [Productivity & Rest]

I'm tempted to say, once again, that I am thankful for Saturdays because seriously, Saturdays are awesome, but that would be a cop out.  So instead I will share with you specific things that I am thankful for, which often happen on Saturdays.

I am thankful for productivity.  During the week, getting anything accomplished that it outside the realm of laundry, cleaning, dinner or dishes has proven to be a challenge - especially when I am pregnant (aka moving at half my normal pace) with a toddler (make that 1/5th of my normal pace).  Because Matt is such a good daddy and does all sorts of fun stuff with Henry on Saturdays (today it was Frisbee Golf), I am able to accomplish between three and five errands instead of just one.  Somehow it feels so good to cross things off that to-do list.  So today, I am thankful for productivity.

I am also thankful for rest.  The BEST part about Saturday is that there is time to be productive AND time to rest.  And on that note, I am going to take a nap.

Thankful: Day 18 [Full Term]

Baby boy would not be considered a preemie if he came today. Yes, I am officially 37 weeks. When I was a rookie, I thought this meant "any day now." So I didn't make any plans, and I pretty much was always warning people that I might not be around next week.  Now I know better - my babies like the womb. And if they don't, well I'll just be terribly unprepared surprised. Three more weeks!

I will try to take and post a belly picture today, but I woke up in the middle of the night again, and I will probably look zombie-ish all day so no promises.

Thankful: Day 17 [CBS, etc.]

Thursday is CBS day.  That's Community Bible Study.  Last year was the first year I went, and I liked it enough to keep coming!  We are studying the book of Revelation - you know the last book in the Bible that's really scary and confusing and that no one ever wants to read.  We have a fabulous teacher, and even though I am about 99% sure that I am the youngest person in the entire Bible Study (of over 100 people), I still love it. 

And while we're at it... the etc.

• I'm thankful for my wedge pillow and heating pad.  I fall asleep on them every single night.  When I try to fall asleep without them, I can feel my back throbbing.  (Perhaps if I had used them during my last pregnancy we might not have ended up splurging on a king-sized bed with a really comfy mattress... definitely a pregnancy "impluse" buy, but neither me or Matt ever buy anything that costs more than $5.00 impulsively, so you can't really call it that.)
• Thankful for floss.  Because who likes food to get stuck in between their teeth?
• Thankful for Christmas pajamas.  Matt's family gets Christmas pajamas every year.  Today I found a pair of Matt's long but light Christmas pajama pants from last year - he had never even taken the tag off!  I stole them, and they are now mine.  If there's anything hotter than a pregnant woman, it's a pregnant woman in her hubby's pajama pants.
• Thankful for easy posts and simple things like those mentioned here.  Promise I won't cop-out like this every other day in November.

Thankful: Day 16 [Another List]

So many good things to be thankful about.  I will have to do more bullet points today.

• It RAINED yesterday.  Henry thought the thunder was an airplane.
• High school friends.  I get together every couple months with some good friends from high school, and I am thankful that I still have these relationships after like 10 years. TEN YEARS, PEOPLE.
• Now, Henry might have not gone to sleep till 9:30 or 10:00 the past two nights, but yesterday morning he slept till 9:15, and then I finally had to wake him up.  Dreamy? Yes. Thankful? Yes.  Although we should probably shoot for 8PM - 8AM instead.  That's a little more doable at night.
• Baby name polls.  Even though, not going to lie, it disrupts my ability to decide even more.  Perhaps when this is all said and done - or before then - I will share with you the journey of this naming (or no-naming) experience - and all the rational and irrational thoughts that have gone into the no-naming of our #2.  Maybe I should just name him "Dos."  Or "Gibson (meaning: son of Gib) Gibson."
• Finally, I'm thankful that life is not all about me.  Life would be pretty boring if the world revolved around me.  I'd be a pretty miserable person if the world and everything was all about me.  Thank God that it IS all about Him and what He's doing.  Even scratching the surface of that truth brings freedom and joy.

Thankful: Day 15 [Mom's Group]

Tuesday is mom's group day.  I'm so thankful for my mom's group- or whatever you want to call it.  It's a group of women, not necessarily from my church, who love God and help me love Him more.  Our kiddos go upstairs or outside with babysitters (also thankful for them), while we get some adult time over coffee and snacks to read and apply the Bible to our lives and to pray for each other.

Thankful: Day 14 [Undecided]

Today's post snuck up on me. Somehow I could not go back to sleep after waking up at 3 AM, but I am going to try here in about two minutes when I finish this post.  Since I could not choose just one, here's a short list of things I am thankful about today.

• I have my 36 week appointment today.  Exciting.  Thankful we are down to weekly appts.
• I'm thankful for water.  It has been an integral part of keeping my swelling down.
• Thankful for spell check.  Without it, you guys would know how dumb I actually am.
• Thankful for Matt, an awesome hubby and daddy who took Henry to his first UT basketball game last night.  Thankful for the "free" time I got as a result.
• Thankful for my church.
• Thankful for the rare moments when everything in my house, including Henry's toys and the laundry, are put away and cleaned up.
• Thankful for cereal because 1- it's good and 2- it does something to my blood sugar that helps me fall back asleep after I've been awake for two hours in the middle of the night.
• Jesus. Always. I love Him.
• And finally, thankful that I'm tired enough to fall back asleep now, so I will hopefully get at least two more hours before it's time to get ready for my Dr. appointment.

Thankful: Day 13 [Picture Posts/Silly Toddler]

I've said it before, I'll say it again.  This thankfulness series is ambitious.  And it's starting to get brutal because, quite honestly, I don't like to "hear" myself "talk" this much.  Plus it's a big jump to go from two to three posts a week to posting every single day.  And, as a blog reader, I'm sure you feel the pressure.  I can only assume "readership" (is that a word?) has dropped off, and I can't blame you because I'd be overwhelmed too.

So, to keep you from reading your brain out, I'll make this post a picture post.  Now that I'm thinking about it, maybe I'll make the rest of the thankfulness posts filled with pictures.  Much more pleasing to the eyes. (And it will give me a reason to take pictures of something other than Henry.)

Henry has been sleeping great in his "bih-buh-beh" (translation: big boy bed).  He went from 10.5 hours a night to 12 hours a night! That probably has more to do with daylight savings/less sunlight, but I am very thankful for it regardless!  I took this picture one morning this week when he literally would not wake up, even after I went in his room and tried to wake him.

I know I already posted one in his Halloween costume, but I feel as though this is justified since this picture was actually taken on the night of Halloween and the other one was not.  Plus I do think he might be the cutest penguin on the planet.

Henry LOVES to steal my camera and take pictures with it.  Normally we get blurry pictures of nothing, but with a little help from mommy, he actually got a decent self-pic in this one.

And then he snapped a pic of his feet.  Also with mommy's help.  They kind of look swollen, don't they?  You could have confused them for my feet!!

There you go. Day 13 - Thankful for picture posts and a silly toddler named Henry.

Thankful: Day 12 [Staycations and Babysitters]

Matt's parents are watching Henry this weekend, which I am so thankful for!  They are such great grandparents - they babysit weekly, and then they act like we are doing them a favor.  It really is dreamy.

So Matt and I were going to go out to the lake, but plans changed, and we are staying at home without the little guy.  I've decided I'm also thankful for this last minute change of plans because I am in serious nesting mode, and unless I make myself think differently, all I think about all day long is getting stuff done around the house.  So being "stuck" 45 minutes away from home and not taking an opportunity without child to actually accomplish something this weekend would have been brutal for me.

Thankful for staycations and babysitters!

Oh, and of course, the one day that Henry is not sleeping with us, I wake up totally restless at 4:45 am.

Thankful: Day 11 [Awkward Preggo Situations, Etc.]

One good thing about my insanely painful nerve pain: it leads to funny and awkward interactions in public.  I'm thankful for these situations because who doesn't love a good laugh?

I wish I could describe this nerve pain for you.  Let's suffice it to say that I can be walking along normally and all of the sudden I get shooting pains all the way down the front or back of my legs (that's femoral and sciatic nerves, respectively) which sometimes literally causes me to fall to the floor (if I am at home), and no that is not a dramatic overreaction.

Yesterday at Target, I was finished shopping, approaching the checkout counter, when this terrible pain struck me in both legs at once.  I literally had to stop in my tracks, I hunched over at the waist and was squirming, and I let out an "Ooooh... Ughhh!"  I then looked up at the sweet, young, innocent checker girl who had a look of fear in her eyes.  (I'm about 99% sure she thought I was having a contraction.)  Instead of setting the record straight, I just go, "Sorry about that."

It wasn't till a few seconds later that I realized how funny the interaction actually was.

Then I started imagining how fun it would be, if I was a better actress, to play pranks on people all the time.

Like, Matt's been dying for me to pretend like I'm not pregnant when someone asks me when I am due.  He wanted me to do it in the last pregnancy, and he still wants me to do it.  Just to act really offended and/or confused, and then say, "Oh, I'm not pregnant."

It would also be kind of fun to pull the "I'm in labor" trick on someone when I'm actually not, but then you have the whole "boy who cried wolf" thing, and that wouldn't be cool.

Now that I'm thinking about it, it WOULD be funny to pretend that my water broke.  It would have to be the perfect situation (Thanksgiving Dinner maybe?), but it would be awesome...

Anyway, this reminds me of one prank I did pull on Matt last pregnancy.  As you all know, I am a fan of epidurals.  As you may also know, my pain tolerance is low (EXCEPT WITH THE NERVE PAIN - I'M TELLING YOU THAT'S REAL), my drama level is high, and natural labor has never been a thought for me.  (I'm also thankful for the freedom to get an epidural.)  So sometime in the last few weeks of my last pregnancy, I decided to play a trick on Matt, and our conversation went something like this.

Leah: Hey babe, I've been praying about it, and I think that I want to go natural in childbirth.
Matt:  Really? (Like, with a half smile, trying to figure out if I am joking or not?)
Leah: (Continue in serious tone) Yeah, you know, I've been thinking, if I ever have to suffer physically for the gospel, natural labor would be really good training for that.  Also, God made our bodies to be able to handle this pain, so I think he just wants me to endure that.
Matt: (Face turns serious and he secretly wonders whether he or anyone else can make it out of the delivery room alive with me not on medication) "Okay. Wow."
Leah: (Can't take it any longer.) JUST KIDDING!
Both of us: laugh! hahahahaha  (And he probably called me a butthead or something of the sort.)

So there you have it day 11.  Thankful for humor, awkwardness, pranks, and the freedom to get an epidural!