Since I stopped using Google Analytics like a year ago, I don't know which posts were my most popular of 2011. So, based on my impeccable mom memory alone, I will share with you the highlights of each month. I'm sure I will miss something important, but oh well!
January- Henry' first stomach virus- shared by both me and Matt and my mom, an innocent bystander. H also got his first haircut.
February- Henry's first birthday! Also the day I finally stopped breastfeeding.
March- Henry and I took a trip to Alabama to see my mom and grandmother. My sister and her boys came too... She was pregnant with her baby girl, and I was about to be pregnant with little Sam.
April- We found out we were pregnant!
May- The main thing I remember in May was going running... a lot. I also probably slept a lot, which may be why there is nothing else to note from this month.
June- Took a trip to NYC with Henry to visit Uncle Michael and Aunt Brittany.
July- Henry and I went to the pool almost every day, and we also survived many, many days with 100+ degree temperatures and no rain.
August- Trip to the beach with my mom, my sister and her family!
September- My very first niece, Laura, was born!
October- Took a trip to LA with my two best friends, Sarah and Rachel. Henry enjoyed his first Halloween as a Penguin.
November- We had a grass fed turkey on Thanksgiving and probably ate the least amount of meat in a given month of our lives EVER due to the viewing of "Food Inc." the previous month.
December- A very crazy month in which so much happened. After what seemed like the shortest pregnancy ever, we welcomed sweet baby Sam into the world. We also said goodbye to Matt's sweet grandmother, who left to be with Jesus on Christmas day.
Another year and God continues to be faithful to all His promises. And it's now officially 2012. Couldn't quite finish it in time. Happy New Year!
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Friday, December 30, 2011
life with two
When your first kid is born, you sort of hibernate for a month or two until you realize that life must go on and you must return to society... or at least I did. Then I spent the next 20 months figuring out how to be a mom. Then the next kid was born. No hibernating this time. Almost-two-year-olds don't lounge around the house "enjoying" their new baby brothers. So we just keep on, keepin' on. Now I can stop figuring out how to be a mom and start figuring out how to be a mom of two. Gee whiz, I'm still learning how to be a wife!
That's about all I got... Short posts better than no posts at all, I say.
That's about all I got... Short posts better than no posts at all, I say.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
invasion!
Help! My house has been overtaken by Christmas presents, toys and baby gear. The walls are closing in on me...
At the very least we have taken down the Christmas decorations. I might start selling stuff soon.
Shortest post ever. Till next time.
At the very least we have taken down the Christmas decorations. I might start selling stuff soon.
Shortest post ever. Till next time.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
not an excuse, but a reason
Hormones can make me feel crazy. Hear me clearly, I know hormones are not an excuse to be crazy, but it's nice to have a reason for feeling not myself.
I read the other day that when you are pregnant, your estrogen and progesterone levels are soaring at an all time high. Then literally within minutes of delivering your baby, both estrogen and progesterone (which are responsible for producing your body's "feel good" molecules, endorphins) plummet to the ground. Not to mention, the hormone your body produces when you nurse your child, prolactin, suppresses your estrogen and progesterone levels to make you more or less like a menopausal woman. During the first few weeks postpartum, your prolactin levels are at an all time high. The article I was reading (and I should probably find it to quote) likened the first few weeks of postpartum "baby blues" to the worst case of PMS you've ever had.
So the way this plays out in real life over the past few days is that I literally cannot let myself see, hear, think about anything that is remotely sad or even things that aren't sad that could be considered sad. Also things that are "scary." No scary allowed.
Examples. (Note, these are meant to be funny because looking back, they are. So like, even though you might be tempted to feel sorry for me, just try to laugh with me cause I' definitely "laughing" at myself.)
During Henry's Sesame Street episode this morning, Elmo and his friends were singing "Goodbye Binky" to their pacifiers because they were all grown up and not babies anymore- so it was time to give up the paci. Not sad. In fact, I think I remember watching that when I was pregnant and thinking it was totally lame. Not today. I had to keep myself from tearing up.
Also, I saw a picture of a puppy cuddling w/ another bigger, dog - I could have burst into tears. Not to mention that last night that dreaded Sarah McLaughlin commercial about the abandoned, neglected animals came on TV, and I immediately made Matt change the channel. I think the only "safe" thing on TV these days is ESPN.
Henry threw his toy hammer at me this morning, and when it hit me in the face I got angry with him and wanted to discipline him, but when I tried I just started crying instead.
While I was in the hospital, I was about to go to sleep and the light above my bed would not turn off. The nurse had to call a technician to come fix it, and I literally started balling uncontrollably. "Why can't the light just turn off?" I asked, as I sobbed unashamedly in front of two nurses and Matt, who I am sure was totally embarrassed.
And don't get me started with ACTUAL sad things. (Not that abandoned puppies aren't really sad.) But you know, real people's "real life" sadness... I can't even mention the examples here.
Anyway, after last pregnancy, I didn't really believe in hormones. I mean, I knew they were real and that I could get a little crabby during that "time of the month," but I didn't give them much more credit than that. So I literally thought I was going insane w/ the ups and downs, highs and lows that the first few postpartum months can bring. It's nice to do it again a second time without feeling totally crazy and guilty for the hormonal roller coaster.
And also, it's nice to know that God is the one who controls my hormones, who decided that this is how my body would work, and whose strength is stronger than my crazy, crazy hormones. So when I have to face the sad or the scary, He is strong for me.
How is it already December 21st?
I read the other day that when you are pregnant, your estrogen and progesterone levels are soaring at an all time high. Then literally within minutes of delivering your baby, both estrogen and progesterone (which are responsible for producing your body's "feel good" molecules, endorphins) plummet to the ground. Not to mention, the hormone your body produces when you nurse your child, prolactin, suppresses your estrogen and progesterone levels to make you more or less like a menopausal woman. During the first few weeks postpartum, your prolactin levels are at an all time high. The article I was reading (and I should probably find it to quote) likened the first few weeks of postpartum "baby blues" to the worst case of PMS you've ever had.
So the way this plays out in real life over the past few days is that I literally cannot let myself see, hear, think about anything that is remotely sad or even things that aren't sad that could be considered sad. Also things that are "scary." No scary allowed.
Examples. (Note, these are meant to be funny because looking back, they are. So like, even though you might be tempted to feel sorry for me, just try to laugh with me cause I' definitely "laughing" at myself.)
During Henry's Sesame Street episode this morning, Elmo and his friends were singing "Goodbye Binky" to their pacifiers because they were all grown up and not babies anymore- so it was time to give up the paci. Not sad. In fact, I think I remember watching that when I was pregnant and thinking it was totally lame. Not today. I had to keep myself from tearing up.
Also, I saw a picture of a puppy cuddling w/ another bigger, dog - I could have burst into tears. Not to mention that last night that dreaded Sarah McLaughlin commercial about the abandoned, neglected animals came on TV, and I immediately made Matt change the channel. I think the only "safe" thing on TV these days is ESPN.
Henry threw his toy hammer at me this morning, and when it hit me in the face I got angry with him and wanted to discipline him, but when I tried I just started crying instead.
While I was in the hospital, I was about to go to sleep and the light above my bed would not turn off. The nurse had to call a technician to come fix it, and I literally started balling uncontrollably. "Why can't the light just turn off?" I asked, as I sobbed unashamedly in front of two nurses and Matt, who I am sure was totally embarrassed.
And don't get me started with ACTUAL sad things. (Not that abandoned puppies aren't really sad.) But you know, real people's "real life" sadness... I can't even mention the examples here.
Anyway, after last pregnancy, I didn't really believe in hormones. I mean, I knew they were real and that I could get a little crabby during that "time of the month," but I didn't give them much more credit than that. So I literally thought I was going insane w/ the ups and downs, highs and lows that the first few postpartum months can bring. It's nice to do it again a second time without feeling totally crazy and guilty for the hormonal roller coaster.
And also, it's nice to know that God is the one who controls my hormones, who decided that this is how my body would work, and whose strength is stronger than my crazy, crazy hormones. So when I have to face the sad or the scary, He is strong for me.
How is it already December 21st?
Monday, December 19, 2011
not gonna happen
I had big plans to get a family picture taken and a newborn picture of Sam taken, both added to a Christmas card/ birth announcement, stuffed into envelopes, addressed, stamped and sent off in time to make it out before Christmas.
Without going into detail, we've had a CRAZY December (not including a new baby), and getting something out before Christmas is just not gonna happen. So, if you are on our mailing list look for a New Year's card/birth announcement - although it might not come till mid January!
Without going into detail, we've had a CRAZY December (not including a new baby), and getting something out before Christmas is just not gonna happen. So, if you are on our mailing list look for a New Year's card/birth announcement - although it might not come till mid January!
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Matt contracted pregnant brain... and mom brain.
Matt's a little scatter-brained. Friends have referred to him as the nutty professor. He is super smart, he has his stuff in order and is extremely responsible, but sometimes it seems as though he is just spinning around in circles. I can't tell you how many times he has "lost" his wallet, or left it at work, or "lost" his glasses, or gone frantically searching for his keys. See this post or this one or this one. (Or you could just click on the label "Mattisms" and read more about this nutty professor type.)
In the past week or so, with the arrival of the new baby, a lot going on at work, and having to deal with health insurance companies/Christmas time/and a lot of other stuff in life that's going on, Matt has said some awesome things.
First of all, a couple of weekends ago, I was having some contractions that weren't painful, but hurt more than braxton hicks, so I figured I should at least write them down and pay attention to how often they were happening. Matt saw my little paper sitting out, and he asked me very naturally, "Are you timing your transactions?"
Yes, I was timing my contractions. No, I was not timing my transactions, whatever that means.
Today Matt and I were talking about a deal we saw on Facebook where you could get a free restaurant.com gift card w/ the purchase of a Target Gift Card. "Restaurant.com isn't that great," I said.
Matt replied without hesitation, "I'm sure we could use a way to find it." And after he said it, he didn't even notice that it came out wrong.
I should start calling him Nutty P.
In the past week or so, with the arrival of the new baby, a lot going on at work, and having to deal with health insurance companies/Christmas time/and a lot of other stuff in life that's going on, Matt has said some awesome things.
First of all, a couple of weekends ago, I was having some contractions that weren't painful, but hurt more than braxton hicks, so I figured I should at least write them down and pay attention to how often they were happening. Matt saw my little paper sitting out, and he asked me very naturally, "Are you timing your transactions?"
Yes, I was timing my contractions. No, I was not timing my transactions, whatever that means.
Today Matt and I were talking about a deal we saw on Facebook where you could get a free restaurant.com gift card w/ the purchase of a Target Gift Card. "Restaurant.com isn't that great," I said.
Matt replied without hesitation, "I'm sure we could use a way to find it." And after he said it, he didn't even notice that it came out wrong.
I should start calling him Nutty P.
Friday, December 16, 2011
I don't have genes.
When little Sammy man came out, he did not look like Henry. So, the family, for a split second thought that maybe this sweet baby would have some of my features... but after just a day or so it became evident that this child, too, looks exactly like his daddy. And, if I might say so, may even look MORE like his daddy than his big brother does.
The main difference between the two, from what I can see, is that Henry's eyes were VERY big and opened really wide, whereas Sam's eyes are a little more squinty. Now. I know you're all going to roll your eyes and tell me that I am vain or something, but I would like to just say that as a child, I had BIG, WIDE eyes, and as a child Matt had little, squinty eyes. I'm not saying Matt's eyes aren't wonderful. (Would I dare try to compete with my husband whose senior superlative in HS was "best eyes?" Absolutely not.) So, obviously Henry gets his beautiful blues from Matt, but I don't want to give up the possibility that perhaps the shape of Henry's eyes comes from his mom. Perhaps if I get motivated enough, I will post a picture of Matt as a child with his squinty eyes and a picture of me as a child with my big, wide eyes so you can see (and judge) for yourself.
Anyway, in the meantime, here's some Henry/Sam comparison photos.
The main difference between the two, from what I can see, is that Henry's eyes were VERY big and opened really wide, whereas Sam's eyes are a little more squinty. Now. I know you're all going to roll your eyes and tell me that I am vain or something, but I would like to just say that as a child, I had BIG, WIDE eyes, and as a child Matt had little, squinty eyes. I'm not saying Matt's eyes aren't wonderful. (Would I dare try to compete with my husband whose senior superlative in HS was "best eyes?" Absolutely not.) So, obviously Henry gets his beautiful blues from Matt, but I don't want to give up the possibility that perhaps the shape of Henry's eyes comes from his mom. Perhaps if I get motivated enough, I will post a picture of Matt as a child with his squinty eyes and a picture of me as a child with my big, wide eyes so you can see (and judge) for yourself.
Anyway, in the meantime, here's some Henry/Sam comparison photos.
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| Henry |
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| Sam |
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| Henry |
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| Sam |
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Henry
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| Henry |
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Week O' Fun
My mom, Matt and I have been taking turns getting out of the house with Henry/staying home with Sam (or as Henry affectionately refers to him, "Ham"). Henry has had quite the week!
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| Shooting basketballs or "abooaballs" at Chuck E Cheese. |
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| Mom and Henry had their picture "sketched" by Chucky. |
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| He wouldn't eat, just wanted to shoot hoops, or "slam dunk." |
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| We took him to 37th street to see the Christmas Lights! |
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| At a local, indoor trampoline "park." |
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| He loves to "dump" or jump. |
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Part 2- Apparently contractions have a purpose.
So, about two hours or so after delivery, the nurses wheeled me over to postpartum, and I got put in the biggest room they had! Awesome! My nurse told me to let her know if I passed any "big clots."(TMI.)
It's funny she said that because I definitely didn't remember anyone telling me that last time. But anyway. I had a little bit of a headache and the nurses told me it was probably because I hadn't had anything to eat all day, and just encouraged me to rest till my food got there. I was in the room by myself, Matt was in the nursery with Sam, and our families had gone to get us food and/or back to work, etc. I layed down to sleep, but I couldn't.
Maybe about 20 minutes after being in postpartum, Matt and Sam came back, and I was finally going to get to feed him and hold him because I hardly had done that! Two nurses also walked in my room right at the same time as Matt and Sam. I sat up, and out comes TONS of blood and a huge clot (gross, I know) like the size of a small cantaloupe.
Honestly, if the nurse hadn't said anything, I would have probably not thought much of it - or wouldn't have told anyone right away, but fortunately she was right there, so I told her, casually, thinking it was no big deal.
So she came to check it out, and within about two minutes I probably had 10 nurses in my room. They were pressing on my stomach, trying to get clots out, paging other nurses, calling my doctor, etc. Sam's nurse had taken him out of the room and back to the nursery. Needless to say, I was clueless as to what was happening, scared, and crying - asking Matt, who had a very concerned look on his face, to please hold my hand.
They started giving me all sorts of medicine - more pitocin to make my uterus contract more, some prostaglandins (also used to induce labor) that make bleeding stop, a shot in my leg that hurt REALLY bad, plus some other stuff via IV (and lucky me, I had TWO IVs, not one). They also gave me some sort of pain killer that they told me would make me "loopy." A combination of the medicines and the blood loss made me start shaking uncontrollably. It was weird to feel completely out of control of my body. I could not stop shaking. I could not do anything for myself. I was thinking at best I would pass out, or I would need a blood transfusion, or I might be getting a hysterectomy, or at worst, I could die. Later Matt told me that a surgical team was outside the door in case they needed to do an emergency hysterectomy. While I was still shaking they wheeled me back to labor and delivery so they could pay more attention to me there. (Note, I lost my huge postpartum room.)
During that whole mess I was doing the only thing I knew to do, which was praying and thinking about Jesus. One, I was praying that he'd heal my body, but that more importantly he'd heal my heart so that He was all I wanted. Two, as I thought about why this was happening, I heard Jesus saying, "Because I love you." Everything He does, He does because He loves us. So, even though I was shaking, crying, and asking the nurses tons of questions, I was feeling His peace because I knew He was present.
Eventually they gave me some drug to stop shaking, and within a few minutes of getting back to labor and delivery I had mostly stopped bleeding. They kept me there to take my blood count and make sure I didn't need a transfusion. Fortunately, I DID take my prenatal vitamins during my pregnancy, so my blood count was good to begin with and I didn't end up needing a blood transfusion. But, since I am me, I figured that I must have done something wrong to make this happen, so I kept asking my doctor and the nurses what I did to make this happen, and my doctor said I was telling too many lies. (Ha ha.) I think God is just trying to nail it in my head that I am not as in control as I think I am...
Anyway, apparently when you have a fast and easy delivery combined with a big baby, and your uterus doesn't have to contract as much, it can cause hemorrhaging, which is what happened to me. The doc told me that if I decided to have another baby, then next time they will start me on the medicines to stop bleeding immediately after delivery - your risk for this increases with each pregnancy. I told my doctor that I just wanted him to earn his paycheck, you know, since it took him like five minutes to deliver baby Sam.
After all that mess was over, I was still pretty darn loopy, which not gonna lie, was quite fun. My family members, at least, were enjoying me without a filter. Unfortunately, I wrote an e-mail to some of my friends telling them what happened while I was in that loopy state, and when I woke up the next morning and re-read it, I was a little bit embarrassed. (I mean, I already share TMI on my blog without being loopy, so you can imagine me on drugs writing an e-mail to my friends.)
The next morning my doctor said, "Not to alarm you, but what happened to you is why women die during childbirth - they bleed to death." I had already figured that... Anyway, that's the "drama" you were waiting on. Thankfully, the nurses were AWESOME and they did such a good job, and all turned out well and I'm still here to tell you about it. :)
My dad started getting all teary-eyed thinking about it, and I told him he wasn't allowed to do that. Because for real, let's just be thankful that what could have been bad is good and let's not concern ourselves with what could have happened. My hormones, emotions and lack of sleep can't handle anything else besides being thankful right now anyway. :)
It's funny she said that because I definitely didn't remember anyone telling me that last time. But anyway. I had a little bit of a headache and the nurses told me it was probably because I hadn't had anything to eat all day, and just encouraged me to rest till my food got there. I was in the room by myself, Matt was in the nursery with Sam, and our families had gone to get us food and/or back to work, etc. I layed down to sleep, but I couldn't.
Maybe about 20 minutes after being in postpartum, Matt and Sam came back, and I was finally going to get to feed him and hold him because I hardly had done that! Two nurses also walked in my room right at the same time as Matt and Sam. I sat up, and out comes TONS of blood and a huge clot (gross, I know) like the size of a small cantaloupe.
Honestly, if the nurse hadn't said anything, I would have probably not thought much of it - or wouldn't have told anyone right away, but fortunately she was right there, so I told her, casually, thinking it was no big deal.
So she came to check it out, and within about two minutes I probably had 10 nurses in my room. They were pressing on my stomach, trying to get clots out, paging other nurses, calling my doctor, etc. Sam's nurse had taken him out of the room and back to the nursery. Needless to say, I was clueless as to what was happening, scared, and crying - asking Matt, who had a very concerned look on his face, to please hold my hand.
They started giving me all sorts of medicine - more pitocin to make my uterus contract more, some prostaglandins (also used to induce labor) that make bleeding stop, a shot in my leg that hurt REALLY bad, plus some other stuff via IV (and lucky me, I had TWO IVs, not one). They also gave me some sort of pain killer that they told me would make me "loopy." A combination of the medicines and the blood loss made me start shaking uncontrollably. It was weird to feel completely out of control of my body. I could not stop shaking. I could not do anything for myself. I was thinking at best I would pass out, or I would need a blood transfusion, or I might be getting a hysterectomy, or at worst, I could die. Later Matt told me that a surgical team was outside the door in case they needed to do an emergency hysterectomy. While I was still shaking they wheeled me back to labor and delivery so they could pay more attention to me there. (Note, I lost my huge postpartum room.)
During that whole mess I was doing the only thing I knew to do, which was praying and thinking about Jesus. One, I was praying that he'd heal my body, but that more importantly he'd heal my heart so that He was all I wanted. Two, as I thought about why this was happening, I heard Jesus saying, "Because I love you." Everything He does, He does because He loves us. So, even though I was shaking, crying, and asking the nurses tons of questions, I was feeling His peace because I knew He was present.
Eventually they gave me some drug to stop shaking, and within a few minutes of getting back to labor and delivery I had mostly stopped bleeding. They kept me there to take my blood count and make sure I didn't need a transfusion. Fortunately, I DID take my prenatal vitamins during my pregnancy, so my blood count was good to begin with and I didn't end up needing a blood transfusion. But, since I am me, I figured that I must have done something wrong to make this happen, so I kept asking my doctor and the nurses what I did to make this happen, and my doctor said I was telling too many lies. (Ha ha.) I think God is just trying to nail it in my head that I am not as in control as I think I am...
Anyway, apparently when you have a fast and easy delivery combined with a big baby, and your uterus doesn't have to contract as much, it can cause hemorrhaging, which is what happened to me. The doc told me that if I decided to have another baby, then next time they will start me on the medicines to stop bleeding immediately after delivery - your risk for this increases with each pregnancy. I told my doctor that I just wanted him to earn his paycheck, you know, since it took him like five minutes to deliver baby Sam.
After all that mess was over, I was still pretty darn loopy, which not gonna lie, was quite fun. My family members, at least, were enjoying me without a filter. Unfortunately, I wrote an e-mail to some of my friends telling them what happened while I was in that loopy state, and when I woke up the next morning and re-read it, I was a little bit embarrassed. (I mean, I already share TMI on my blog without being loopy, so you can imagine me on drugs writing an e-mail to my friends.)
The next morning my doctor said, "Not to alarm you, but what happened to you is why women die during childbirth - they bleed to death." I had already figured that... Anyway, that's the "drama" you were waiting on. Thankfully, the nurses were AWESOME and they did such a good job, and all turned out well and I'm still here to tell you about it. :)
My dad started getting all teary-eyed thinking about it, and I told him he wasn't allowed to do that. Because for real, let's just be thankful that what could have been bad is good and let's not concern ourselves with what could have happened. My hormones, emotions and lack of sleep can't handle anything else besides being thankful right now anyway. :)
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Some Pictures
I know, I promised I'd share the rest of our hospital experience. The thing is, it's kind of a long story (but I'm sure the longer I wait, the shorter it will get), so to hold you over until I have a good chance to write, I'll post some pictures. :)
Poor Sam already has like 1/3 as many pictures at this point in his life as Henry did at this point in his. Don't worry, I do not really feel sorry for him.
Poor Sam already has like 1/3 as many pictures at this point in his life as Henry did at this point in his. Don't worry, I do not really feel sorry for him.
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| Last Belly Pic! 39 Weeks and 6 days. |
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| Henry coming to visit Mommy before it's time to push. |
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| After Sam is born, Henry comes to meet him and opens a present "from Sam" - a football, which he loved! |
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| Henry watching Sam through the nursery window. |
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| Mom and Sam later that night after our drama had gone down. Notice my makeup is all gone and I look more like I had a real labor experience. Man, are you guys just hanging on a thread? I'm sorry bc the story is not really THAT exciting. |
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| Henry and Sam. :) |
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| Hi handsome baby! |
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| Leaving the hospital. |
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| He has a Matt mouth... same as Henry. |
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| Sam and his cousin Laura. :) |
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| Henry, Sam, and Laura. So precious. |
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| Hey blue eyes! Will you stay blue or turn? |
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| Brothers! |
Monday, December 12, 2011
Part 1 - Labor and Delivery (the easy part)
Apologies for being SO late on the details of little Sam's birth! (Although, it may have something to do with the fact that we have two children at home now, and literally within five minutes of walking in the door from the hospital, both children had pooped.) Anyway, we had quite the weekend. :) I will share the details in a little series. Labor and delivery can best be explained in a timeline. Enjoy. :)
Thursday
6:15 am - Leave for hospital
6:30 am - Check in at registration
6:45 am - Get put in delivery room, told the nurse would be there in 5 minutes
7:00 am - Still waiting. This is when we officially chose the name Samuel (Sam) Keith. (Details on that later.)
8:00 am (NOTE, that's way longer than 5 minutes) - NursES (plural) come in to room and start getting me set up for induction. We were told there was a miscommunication, aka - they just straight up forgot about me. They had three nurses setting me up because they had been running behind. Unfortunately, Matt and I have gotten used to waiting at the Dr.'s office, so we didn't think much of it.
9:00 am - Start on pitocin. I had already gotten to 5cm all on my own without hardly any painful contractions at all. Be very jealous.
9:30 am - After feeling about two real contractions, epidural is ordered. Two contractions was enough for me. :)
10:00 am-1:00 am- Visit with Matt, visit with our (very chatty) nurse, text people out the wazoo, see Henry, let family come say hi.
12 ish pm - Dr. comes by to say hi. Tells me he thought I stood him up this morning! Ask me how happy that made me, since I am Miss Punctual. The nurses never told the doctor that is was THEIR mistake that I supposedly "no-showed" that morning. Bad form! :)
1:00 pm - Two practice pushes with nurse. I have to keep myself from pushing while they call the doctor because I feel like baby was going to fall out.
1:10 pm - Dr. gets to room, gets everything ready.
1:15 pm - Start "pushing" except I was literally afraid the baby was going to fall out on his own. Dr. makes me hold off on the pushing because he doesn't want me to tear (more TMI). Dr. literally just pulls the baby out without a single push. I push one more time to get the rest of the body out.
1: 21 pm - Baby Sam is here!
That was the easy part! Sam came out looking like a C-Section baby, and I am not just saying that. It was quite welcome since Henry, handsome though he is, came out looking like E.T. My family, in laws, etc. were all telling me how great I looked - because seriously I did NO work. I woke up early that morning, put my make up on, curled my hair, and then sat in bed all morning until the baby fell out. It was quite awesome.
But, if you are very jealous of me, don't be, because we had some drama go down... that story will be next, and hopefully I won't have to leave you hanging too long.
In the meantime, I am SO glad to finally be at home w/ our little family of four (plus my mom who's helping big time)! And I am SO thankful for my devoted blog reading friends. Missed you guys! hahaha.
Thursday
6:15 am - Leave for hospital
6:30 am - Check in at registration
6:45 am - Get put in delivery room, told the nurse would be there in 5 minutes
7:00 am - Still waiting. This is when we officially chose the name Samuel (Sam) Keith. (Details on that later.)
8:00 am (NOTE, that's way longer than 5 minutes) - NursES (plural) come in to room and start getting me set up for induction. We were told there was a miscommunication, aka - they just straight up forgot about me. They had three nurses setting me up because they had been running behind. Unfortunately, Matt and I have gotten used to waiting at the Dr.'s office, so we didn't think much of it.
9:00 am - Start on pitocin. I had already gotten to 5cm all on my own without hardly any painful contractions at all. Be very jealous.
9:30 am - After feeling about two real contractions, epidural is ordered. Two contractions was enough for me. :)
10:00 am-1:00 am- Visit with Matt, visit with our (very chatty) nurse, text people out the wazoo, see Henry, let family come say hi.
12 ish pm - Dr. comes by to say hi. Tells me he thought I stood him up this morning! Ask me how happy that made me, since I am Miss Punctual. The nurses never told the doctor that is was THEIR mistake that I supposedly "no-showed" that morning. Bad form! :)
1:00 pm - Two practice pushes with nurse. I have to keep myself from pushing while they call the doctor because I feel like baby was going to fall out.
1:10 pm - Dr. gets to room, gets everything ready.
1:15 pm - Start "pushing" except I was literally afraid the baby was going to fall out on his own. Dr. makes me hold off on the pushing because he doesn't want me to tear (more TMI). Dr. literally just pulls the baby out without a single push. I push one more time to get the rest of the body out.
1: 21 pm - Baby Sam is here!
That was the easy part! Sam came out looking like a C-Section baby, and I am not just saying that. It was quite welcome since Henry, handsome though he is, came out looking like E.T. My family, in laws, etc. were all telling me how great I looked - because seriously I did NO work. I woke up early that morning, put my make up on, curled my hair, and then sat in bed all morning until the baby fell out. It was quite awesome.
But, if you are very jealous of me, don't be, because we had some drama go down... that story will be next, and hopefully I won't have to leave you hanging too long.
In the meantime, I am SO glad to finally be at home w/ our little family of four (plus my mom who's helping big time)! And I am SO thankful for my devoted blog reading friends. Missed you guys! hahaha.
Friday, December 9, 2011
Samuel Keith Gibson
Born at 1:21 PM on Dec 8, 2011. Height 20.5 inches. Weight 8lbs, 6oz.
We're calling him SAM!
Plenty of fun hospital stories to follow...
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
You decide, baby. Now or Thursday.
My friends, I am happy to say that baby will be here on THURSDAY, unless he decides to come before that. Although if I were to go into active labor today, I might have him in the middle of the night (Wed-Thurs), and my doctor would not be on call, so if he wants to wait on the pitocin, so be it. (Also, I would have scheduled it for Friday, my due date, but they did not have availability, and there ain't NO WAY I'm taking a chance on this thing going into the weekend when I have the option NOT to.)
Supposedly if I get to the hospital on Thursday morning for induction but have had something to eat after midnight, they will straight up cancel it on me and send me home. Doesn't seem like a big deal, but the past two nights I have woken up HUNGRY around 3 or 4 AM. Obviously getting my baby out will be more of a priority than feeding my hungry tummy, but I can't say I wasn't a little nervous about breaking that rule on accident.
This whole pregnancy, I have straight up just tried to ignore thoughts and feelings about how life is about to change big time for my sweet little Henry. But he's had me wrapped around his finger for about a week now. It's like he knows something's about to happen! But really it's just me. (So, for example, I haven't been letting him cry to sleep, but laying in his room with him for almost 45 minutes each night. Bad, mama!)
But I've avoided letting myself get too emotional or think too much about having another child and what it will do to Henry because I KNOW it will all turn out just fine. Everyone talks about feeling anxious, sad, worried about their first child when the second comes into the world. And as far as I know, no one, after that second child comes, wishes they could give that second baby back. So I've pushed all those thoughts to the side...
Yes, let me put myself in Henry's shoes over the next couple of months. Yes, let me give him some grace because surely this transition will feel huge to him- he's a BIG time momma's boy. But it's no use letting myself get all sappy about it (and I could, easily).
So for the record, Matt got on some baby name websites last night. I was like, "What are you doing? You're wasting your time." And he was. I think he was secretly hoping that the world had invented some new name and it was going to show up and pop out at him. I think we are down to two names, and as of last night the one that Matt was leaning toward is NOT the one that I was leaning toward.
Should we draw from a hat? Should we take votes from our nurses? Should we let the doctor decide? Should we wait till we see him? Should we rock, paper, scissors? And what if I straight up do not like the middle name, but it has family significance? Having some sort of family significance is something that matters to both of us - can I go through with giving my child a middle name that I do not like?
Well anyway, unless things happen really fast (which they could), it's looking like Thursday will be the day. So today, we are going to enjoy our last day as a family of three (plus my mom), and give Henry his last few hours of totally undivided, only child attention.
Oh my gosh! I'm having a baby tomorrow or sooner! I guess I've been pushing the feelings of excitement aside as well because, holy moly, that just hit me. Maybe he's just been waiting for me to tell him that I'm ready to meet him. I'm ready to meet you, baby! (Or maybe he wants a name before he comes out.) Don't worry, baby, God knows your name.
Thanks to those of you who stuck it out through this most random post. Happy Wednesday.
Supposedly if I get to the hospital on Thursday morning for induction but have had something to eat after midnight, they will straight up cancel it on me and send me home. Doesn't seem like a big deal, but the past two nights I have woken up HUNGRY around 3 or 4 AM. Obviously getting my baby out will be more of a priority than feeding my hungry tummy, but I can't say I wasn't a little nervous about breaking that rule on accident.
This whole pregnancy, I have straight up just tried to ignore thoughts and feelings about how life is about to change big time for my sweet little Henry. But he's had me wrapped around his finger for about a week now. It's like he knows something's about to happen! But really it's just me. (So, for example, I haven't been letting him cry to sleep, but laying in his room with him for almost 45 minutes each night. Bad, mama!)
But I've avoided letting myself get too emotional or think too much about having another child and what it will do to Henry because I KNOW it will all turn out just fine. Everyone talks about feeling anxious, sad, worried about their first child when the second comes into the world. And as far as I know, no one, after that second child comes, wishes they could give that second baby back. So I've pushed all those thoughts to the side...
Yes, let me put myself in Henry's shoes over the next couple of months. Yes, let me give him some grace because surely this transition will feel huge to him- he's a BIG time momma's boy. But it's no use letting myself get all sappy about it (and I could, easily).
So for the record, Matt got on some baby name websites last night. I was like, "What are you doing? You're wasting your time." And he was. I think he was secretly hoping that the world had invented some new name and it was going to show up and pop out at him. I think we are down to two names, and as of last night the one that Matt was leaning toward is NOT the one that I was leaning toward.
Should we draw from a hat? Should we take votes from our nurses? Should we let the doctor decide? Should we wait till we see him? Should we rock, paper, scissors? And what if I straight up do not like the middle name, but it has family significance? Having some sort of family significance is something that matters to both of us - can I go through with giving my child a middle name that I do not like?
Well anyway, unless things happen really fast (which they could), it's looking like Thursday will be the day. So today, we are going to enjoy our last day as a family of three (plus my mom), and give Henry his last few hours of totally undivided, only child attention.
Oh my gosh! I'm having a baby tomorrow or sooner! I guess I've been pushing the feelings of excitement aside as well because, holy moly, that just hit me. Maybe he's just been waiting for me to tell him that I'm ready to meet him. I'm ready to meet you, baby! (Or maybe he wants a name before he comes out.) Don't worry, baby, God knows your name.
Thanks to those of you who stuck it out through this most random post. Happy Wednesday.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
jinxed myself
The thing about weekly OB visits at this point in pregnancy is that they don't really do much as far as predicting the onset of labor. My appointment yesterday was exciting... so exciting in fact, that the doctor offered to induce me TODAY! Talk about being caught off guard! Much to everyone's surprise, I said no. Anticipation can be exciting. I like that part of it.
...But let's not get too carried away here. Going past my due date would NOT be exciting. So I called back later to see if he would induce me on Friday. The nurse had to check with him and I am still waiting for them to get back to me on an answer. However, doctor thinks I should be in there by natural causes in "the next couple of days."
So after the appointment, I made a rookie mistake. Embarrassing since I am not technically a rookie. I called my mom. She had a flight for Wednesday, but she changed it to today. I ate spicy food for dinner. I told people that I might not be "there" tomorrow - you know at events I previously planned to attend. Basically, I alerted the media, but there was really no news. Not in labor. I will be there. Sorry you spent an extra 50 bucks to change your flight, mom.
To top off the rookie mistake, I had been having approximately one contraction every hour for the last three days. Nothing painful. Nothing to write home about. But overnight they were either so weak that I couldn't feel them, or more likely, they went away all together.
Unlike last pregnancy, I am not going to throw a hissy-fit and spend all day researching natural labor induction techniques. (Although I won't lie and say I didn't stoop so low this morning at 3AM as to watch a couple of YouTube videos on accupressure to induce labor.) Instead I'm going to pretend to be a mature adult and assume that this is God's way of giving me time to wrap up the last 3-4 items on my to-do list that I have put off until now.
Since I know you care to know, some of those "to-do" items include:
- Getting Henry a present "from his baby brother." Supposedly this is a good way to help toddlers cope with the new addition.
- Getting unnamed baby 2 a baby book so I can get his footprint in it, and so later in life he won't wonder why his older brother had a baby book and he didn't. (Note to world, I still haven't completed Henry's 1st year baby book, so I'm not extremely excited about this purchase, but it must be done.)
- Reclean. I had a nesting frenzy one day last week. Apparently that was a week too early because everything is unclean and back to normal now. I'd like to get it spic 'n span again today... but a nap might be more necessary, seeing as I've been wide awake since 3:30 am now.
My actual written to do list is much longer, but it's not important that you know all the little things I put on there just so I can feel better about myself when I cross them off. Happy Tuesday!
...But let's not get too carried away here. Going past my due date would NOT be exciting. So I called back later to see if he would induce me on Friday. The nurse had to check with him and I am still waiting for them to get back to me on an answer. However, doctor thinks I should be in there by natural causes in "the next couple of days."
So after the appointment, I made a rookie mistake. Embarrassing since I am not technically a rookie. I called my mom. She had a flight for Wednesday, but she changed it to today. I ate spicy food for dinner. I told people that I might not be "there" tomorrow - you know at events I previously planned to attend. Basically, I alerted the media, but there was really no news. Not in labor. I will be there. Sorry you spent an extra 50 bucks to change your flight, mom.
To top off the rookie mistake, I had been having approximately one contraction every hour for the last three days. Nothing painful. Nothing to write home about. But overnight they were either so weak that I couldn't feel them, or more likely, they went away all together.
Unlike last pregnancy, I am not going to throw a hissy-fit and spend all day researching natural labor induction techniques. (Although I won't lie and say I didn't stoop so low this morning at 3AM as to watch a couple of YouTube videos on accupressure to induce labor.) Instead I'm going to pretend to be a mature adult and assume that this is God's way of giving me time to wrap up the last 3-4 items on my to-do list that I have put off until now.
Since I know you care to know, some of those "to-do" items include:
- Getting Henry a present "from his baby brother." Supposedly this is a good way to help toddlers cope with the new addition.
- Getting unnamed baby 2 a baby book so I can get his footprint in it, and so later in life he won't wonder why his older brother had a baby book and he didn't. (Note to world, I still haven't completed Henry's 1st year baby book, so I'm not extremely excited about this purchase, but it must be done.)
- Reclean. I had a nesting frenzy one day last week. Apparently that was a week too early because everything is unclean and back to normal now. I'd like to get it spic 'n span again today... but a nap might be more necessary, seeing as I've been wide awake since 3:30 am now.
My actual written to do list is much longer, but it's not important that you know all the little things I put on there just so I can feel better about myself when I cross them off. Happy Tuesday!
Monday, December 5, 2011
a pinterest fail
A couple of weeks ago I saw this on Pinterest.
Brilliant idea if you have a regular toaster instead of a toaster oven, right? Not going to lie, I actually tried this - because apparently putting cheese on toast and sticking it under the broiler for two minutes is really far too difficult.
MAJOR. FAIL. The crumbs that were already hanging out inside of my toaster seeped down into the sides of the toaster and smoke started coming out... along with the burning smell.
Now I wonder if someone put that "brilliant" idea on the internet just so some smarty pants like me would be silly enough to try it.
Source: grilledcheesesocial.com via Kelly on Pinterest
Brilliant idea if you have a regular toaster instead of a toaster oven, right? Not going to lie, I actually tried this - because apparently putting cheese on toast and sticking it under the broiler for two minutes is really far too difficult.
MAJOR. FAIL. The crumbs that were already hanging out inside of my toaster seeped down into the sides of the toaster and smoke started coming out... along with the burning smell.
Now I wonder if someone put that "brilliant" idea on the internet just so some smarty pants like me would be silly enough to try it.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
let's talk pedicures, shall we?
I got my "I'm about to have a baby" manicure and pedicure today. While I was sitting there, I realized that I'm probably more picky about my $25 pedicure than I am about my $20,000 (estimate, epidural included, possibly on the high side, but who's paying attention?) labor and delivery experience.
You see. If I did write up a "birth plan," which I won't, it would look something like this: EPI-FRICKIN-DURAL. The end.
However, if I had the option of writing up a "pedicure plan," it would be much more detailed.
For starters. I would like my feet to not be soaking in lukewarm water please. Make that water HOT! I want it "hot tub" hot, you know. It should be uncomfortable for about five seconds, like when you get in a hot tub. Then it feels great once your skin gets acclimated. None of this lukewarm business... because if it's lukewarm when you put your feet in, it basically just feels cold the longer they sit there.
Next. When you take that dirt scraper thing to scrape dirt out from my pretty toenails, DIG IN THERE! I should be able to feel you digging around for dirt. (Sorry if that grosses some of you out.) Don't be wimpy, woman! Don't just halfheartedly drag the little scraper underneath my nail! You can't sufficiently remove the dirt that way! Same goes for the cuticle cutting and the removing of callouses... actually get them off, don't just pick up the tools and pretend!
Finally, the lotion you're rubbing on my legs. SHOW ME SOME MUSCLE. Massage the lotion INTO my legs. Don't just pat, pat, pat it on. You are stronger than that, lady! Take pride in your job. :)
Okay, so maybe I'm a little high maintenance. But you know, there's gotta be some consistency. If I've been going to the same nail salon since like 8th grade, and most of the time they massage my feet and do a great job, then that will be what I come to expect. I think they should have called this "pedicure lite" and charged me less for it - you know as opposed to the deluxe where they charge you more.
On the bright side, the manicurist gave me a neck massage, so I can't complain too much. I can't lie and say that the whole experience left me wanting more... like a full body, "let's-apply-labor-inducing, accu-pressure," "let's-make-up-for-the-sorry-pedicure" massage.
In other news. I love the raised eyebrows I get now when people ask when I'm due. When I can answer, "Friday," it's much more exciting than, "two weeks" or even "next week." But let's be honest, baby probably won't come on Friday. Really, I'm not getting my hopes up. And we've pretty much decided he will be named in the hospital. Scary thought.
I think that's all for Sunday. Let's chat soon.
You see. If I did write up a "birth plan," which I won't, it would look something like this: EPI-FRICKIN-DURAL. The end.
However, if I had the option of writing up a "pedicure plan," it would be much more detailed.
For starters. I would like my feet to not be soaking in lukewarm water please. Make that water HOT! I want it "hot tub" hot, you know. It should be uncomfortable for about five seconds, like when you get in a hot tub. Then it feels great once your skin gets acclimated. None of this lukewarm business... because if it's lukewarm when you put your feet in, it basically just feels cold the longer they sit there.
Next. When you take that dirt scraper thing to scrape dirt out from my pretty toenails, DIG IN THERE! I should be able to feel you digging around for dirt. (Sorry if that grosses some of you out.) Don't be wimpy, woman! Don't just halfheartedly drag the little scraper underneath my nail! You can't sufficiently remove the dirt that way! Same goes for the cuticle cutting and the removing of callouses... actually get them off, don't just pick up the tools and pretend!
Finally, the lotion you're rubbing on my legs. SHOW ME SOME MUSCLE. Massage the lotion INTO my legs. Don't just pat, pat, pat it on. You are stronger than that, lady! Take pride in your job. :)
Okay, so maybe I'm a little high maintenance. But you know, there's gotta be some consistency. If I've been going to the same nail salon since like 8th grade, and most of the time they massage my feet and do a great job, then that will be what I come to expect. I think they should have called this "pedicure lite" and charged me less for it - you know as opposed to the deluxe where they charge you more.
On the bright side, the manicurist gave me a neck massage, so I can't complain too much. I can't lie and say that the whole experience left me wanting more... like a full body, "let's-apply-labor-inducing, accu-pressure," "let's-make-up-for-the-sorry-pedicure" massage.
In other news. I love the raised eyebrows I get now when people ask when I'm due. When I can answer, "Friday," it's much more exciting than, "two weeks" or even "next week." But let's be honest, baby probably won't come on Friday. Really, I'm not getting my hopes up. And we've pretty much decided he will be named in the hospital. Scary thought.
I think that's all for Sunday. Let's chat soon.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Thankful: Day 30 [Community]
Were you afraid I wasn't going to finish? Waited till almost the last hour, but I made it!
Today, I am thankful for community. For best friends, family, family friends, my church and my small group, my mom's group and all the people that God has placed in my life...
Who rejoice when I rejoice, who mourn when I mourn, who are just there.
Confession. I sometimes wish I could be best friends with everyone. And sometimes I even get upset when I see other friendships form around me because I long for community with everyone. Yes, I am guilty. I want to know people well and I want people to know me well.
But today I was thinking that God HAS given me the best of friends, the best of family, a community to love and that loves me. So, to wrap of this thankfulness series- I am thankful for friends and community - all of them. Or should I say, all of you? You know who you are!
Today, I am thankful for community. For best friends, family, family friends, my church and my small group, my mom's group and all the people that God has placed in my life...
Who rejoice when I rejoice, who mourn when I mourn, who are just there.
Confession. I sometimes wish I could be best friends with everyone. And sometimes I even get upset when I see other friendships form around me because I long for community with everyone. Yes, I am guilty. I want to know people well and I want people to know me well.
But today I was thinking that God HAS given me the best of friends, the best of family, a community to love and that loves me. So, to wrap of this thankfulness series- I am thankful for friends and community - all of them. Or should I say, all of you? You know who you are!
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Thankful: Day 29 [Sleep]
"Unless the Lord builds the house,
its builders labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city,
the watchmen stand guard in vain.
In vain you rise early
and stay up late,
toiling for food to eat—
for he grants sleep to those he loves."
Psalm 127:1-2
"I will lie down and sleep in peace,
for you alone, O Lord,
make me dwell in safety."
Psalm 4:8
lose the attitude, barista
So on Saturday, Matt graciously drove me through Starbucks - he was going to make me get out and go in to order, but I gently reminded him that I was very pregnant and it was cold outside. I ordered my usual - a tall Pike's Place coffee with cream. It wasn't till I was about to take my first sip, maybe 5 minutes later that I realized they forgot the cream.
At that point, we were already nearby another Starbucks, so I ended up walking inside anyway to put cream in my coffee - I've tried drinking it black before... just can't do it.
Fast forward to today. I really needed coffee in order to get OUT of the house, but alas, there was none in my house at all. I managed to pull myself together ENOUGH this morning to get in the car with Henry and go for a Starbucks run. And it's a good thing because without that caffeine, we really might have stayed in our pajamas all day long. In fact, I left the house in Matt's sweatpants - a risky move if I might say so.
This time, I ordered a GRANDE coffee w/ cream. When I reached the drive thru window, the barista tried to hand me a granola bar that I had definitely not ordered. So when she handed me my coffee, I considered the granola bar mix up combined with Saturday's incident. To make sure they didn't have my order confused with the person's behind me in line, I politely asked if the coffee had cream in it while removing the little "splash stick" to make sure that it was light brown colored and not black. (I was also thinking that if they forgot cream, I would NOT want be getting out of the car in Matt's sweatpants to fix the problem.)
Barista rudely interrupted my question in a very snotty tone. "The coffee has everything you asked for in it." I drove off.
Everything, huh? Because I only asked for cream - so what else did you put in there, smarty pants? Apparently she was offended that I would even think to ask if they got my order right.
It's a good thing that I drove off before I felt the intensity of my reaction to barista, otherwise I might have been rude to her face. (For the record, this barista has a track record with me... I was in the store when she was applying/interviewing for her job, and I cannot forget her because of the incident that happened that day. Another story, another time.) She's got an attitude.
How badly do I want to write the regional Starbucks manager and share my experiences with this lovely lady? Unfortunately I don't know her name. Also thinking maybe I should give her some grace. Times like these when I appreciate grace the most - when I realize how difficult it is for me to give it.
At that point, we were already nearby another Starbucks, so I ended up walking inside anyway to put cream in my coffee - I've tried drinking it black before... just can't do it.
Fast forward to today. I really needed coffee in order to get OUT of the house, but alas, there was none in my house at all. I managed to pull myself together ENOUGH this morning to get in the car with Henry and go for a Starbucks run. And it's a good thing because without that caffeine, we really might have stayed in our pajamas all day long. In fact, I left the house in Matt's sweatpants - a risky move if I might say so.
This time, I ordered a GRANDE coffee w/ cream. When I reached the drive thru window, the barista tried to hand me a granola bar that I had definitely not ordered. So when she handed me my coffee, I considered the granola bar mix up combined with Saturday's incident. To make sure they didn't have my order confused with the person's behind me in line, I politely asked if the coffee had cream in it while removing the little "splash stick" to make sure that it was light brown colored and not black. (I was also thinking that if they forgot cream, I would NOT want be getting out of the car in Matt's sweatpants to fix the problem.)
Barista rudely interrupted my question in a very snotty tone. "The coffee has everything you asked for in it." I drove off.
Everything, huh? Because I only asked for cream - so what else did you put in there, smarty pants? Apparently she was offended that I would even think to ask if they got my order right.
It's a good thing that I drove off before I felt the intensity of my reaction to barista, otherwise I might have been rude to her face. (For the record, this barista has a track record with me... I was in the store when she was applying/interviewing for her job, and I cannot forget her because of the incident that happened that day. Another story, another time.) She's got an attitude.
How badly do I want to write the regional Starbucks manager and share my experiences with this lovely lady? Unfortunately I don't know her name. Also thinking maybe I should give her some grace. Times like these when I appreciate grace the most - when I realize how difficult it is for me to give it.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Thankful: Day 28 [Feeling Justified]
Most of you were probably not around to pay much attention to my most recent hair debacle over the Thanksgiving holiday - which is a good thing for me. The drama and recovery are chronicled here and here, in case you missed it.
Anyway, I will have everyone know that I got it fixed on Saturday, and it looks much better. Based on all the comments, I know you were very, very concerned. (That or you're thinking, "Shut your mouth about the hair already!") HOWEVER...
Let me just say that the truth has come out NOW, after the crisis has been averted. You see, I went to dinner with my most honest father and brother on Saturday night after everything was better. At that point my dad said with some serious emphasis, "Oh, your hair looks MUCH better. It looked really bad yesterday compared to this." I almost thought he was just joking to poke fun at my overreaction (which he actually knew nothing about), but I kept asking him "Are you joking, or serious?" And it turns out, he meant it. He admitted that he didn't think it looked "that bad" until he compared the old, messed up hair, with the newly improved hair. My dad's wife at that point felt free to comment that she agreed it also looked much better now, etc.
So you see, people probably really didn't think my hair looked bad, but this just proves that my suspicions were accurate. Fortunately, Matt is not very observant, like at all, so I could look like I got hit by a train or an ugly stick, and he'd be happy regardless.
I am thankful to feel like it wasn't all in my head. Thankful for the stylist who was really sweet to fix it for me and not take too much offense... Thankful for the honesty of my male family members who have at times told me that I look "grungy" and other really nice adjectives like that. Matt could never get away with such honesty.
Happy Monday!!! Only two more days of this thankfulness series, and I can't lie and say I am not happy about it because I'm tired of hearing myself talk.
Anyway, I will have everyone know that I got it fixed on Saturday, and it looks much better. Based on all the comments, I know you were very, very concerned. (That or you're thinking, "Shut your mouth about the hair already!") HOWEVER...
Let me just say that the truth has come out NOW, after the crisis has been averted. You see, I went to dinner with my most honest father and brother on Saturday night after everything was better. At that point my dad said with some serious emphasis, "Oh, your hair looks MUCH better. It looked really bad yesterday compared to this." I almost thought he was just joking to poke fun at my overreaction (which he actually knew nothing about), but I kept asking him "Are you joking, or serious?" And it turns out, he meant it. He admitted that he didn't think it looked "that bad" until he compared the old, messed up hair, with the newly improved hair. My dad's wife at that point felt free to comment that she agreed it also looked much better now, etc.
So you see, people probably really didn't think my hair looked bad, but this just proves that my suspicions were accurate. Fortunately, Matt is not very observant, like at all, so I could look like I got hit by a train or an ugly stick, and he'd be happy regardless.
I am thankful to feel like it wasn't all in my head. Thankful for the stylist who was really sweet to fix it for me and not take too much offense... Thankful for the honesty of my male family members who have at times told me that I look "grungy" and other really nice adjectives like that. Matt could never get away with such honesty.
Happy Monday!!! Only two more days of this thankfulness series, and I can't lie and say I am not happy about it because I'm tired of hearing myself talk.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Thankful: Day 27 [Real Peace and Real Rest]
Confession. I only really clean my house when my mother in law (I shorten it to MIL and FIL) is about to come over. I used to clean for my church group, but now that they've been coming each week for three years, I am over trying to put on a good front for them. They know the dirt in my heart, so why can't they see the dirt on my bathroom floor?
Matt's parents just started coming to our house sometime in the last year. They come almost every week to babysit. Which means Friday is cleaning day. I used to get a little frantic trying to clean for them because, to be honest, my MIL might be the cleanest person on the planet. (She will not take off her shoes in hotel rooms, she is constantly cleaning bathrooms, doing laundry, scrubbing the floor on her hands and knees - or making my FIL do it all for her.) (P.S. We have a good relationship - no need to worry she will take offense to any of that.)
Anyway, another confession. Sometime this summer I realized just how sinful this "freak out," frantic cleaning actually is... because what I'm doing is trying to gain approval (or realistically just not lose approval) from other people, in this case my MIL.
I already have ultimate approval from God through Jesus. I do not need anyone else's approval. So what does this mean? Does this mean that I just let my house get sloppy and never clean again? No absolutely not. What I was thinking about last night and this morning is that because I do already have approval, and because I do not have to earn it from anyone in any form, I can clean my house in a different way - a free and relaxed way. I can have peace before I clean my house, while I clean my house, and after I leave my house with my MIL still in it, even if I don't clean it perfectly or have time to accomplish all of the cleaning I want. Whereas, when I don't trust in the approval I have from God, I can only have peace after I have sufficiently cleaned my house. It turns out that chores and cleaning can actually be enjoyable in themselves when you don't try to complete them out of an unmet need for approval or control.
An another example of this is working out and body image. In my deepest heart, I really actually do enjoy to run, to workout, and to compete. But you want to know what sucks the joy right out of running? When I feel like I absolutely must run in order to be fit, in order to look good, in order to get approval from people. On the other hand, if I believe that I have approval, on every single level, from God through Christ, then I no longer feel the need to workout in order to meet a need for approval but because that need is already met.
Does that mean I shouldn't workout? Does that mean I should not try to run or to compete in races or to enjoy physical activity? No. It means I lose the frantic need to workout (or ironically, as is often my case, the lazy rebellion of not working out because doing it for approval is so dang exhausting), and replace it with a peaceful, restful, enjoyable working out/running/what have you.
Before Jesus started his ministry at the transfiguration, God said concerning him, "This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased..." When Jesus died for me, the pleasure God had in his Son Jesus got transferred to me. Now he is pleased with me. This is what I am thankful for today. Real rest, real peace that comes from real and total approval from God through Jesus.
Matt's parents just started coming to our house sometime in the last year. They come almost every week to babysit. Which means Friday is cleaning day. I used to get a little frantic trying to clean for them because, to be honest, my MIL might be the cleanest person on the planet. (She will not take off her shoes in hotel rooms, she is constantly cleaning bathrooms, doing laundry, scrubbing the floor on her hands and knees - or making my FIL do it all for her.) (P.S. We have a good relationship - no need to worry she will take offense to any of that.)
Anyway, another confession. Sometime this summer I realized just how sinful this "freak out," frantic cleaning actually is... because what I'm doing is trying to gain approval (or realistically just not lose approval) from other people, in this case my MIL.
I already have ultimate approval from God through Jesus. I do not need anyone else's approval. So what does this mean? Does this mean that I just let my house get sloppy and never clean again? No absolutely not. What I was thinking about last night and this morning is that because I do already have approval, and because I do not have to earn it from anyone in any form, I can clean my house in a different way - a free and relaxed way. I can have peace before I clean my house, while I clean my house, and after I leave my house with my MIL still in it, even if I don't clean it perfectly or have time to accomplish all of the cleaning I want. Whereas, when I don't trust in the approval I have from God, I can only have peace after I have sufficiently cleaned my house. It turns out that chores and cleaning can actually be enjoyable in themselves when you don't try to complete them out of an unmet need for approval or control.
An another example of this is working out and body image. In my deepest heart, I really actually do enjoy to run, to workout, and to compete. But you want to know what sucks the joy right out of running? When I feel like I absolutely must run in order to be fit, in order to look good, in order to get approval from people. On the other hand, if I believe that I have approval, on every single level, from God through Christ, then I no longer feel the need to workout in order to meet a need for approval but because that need is already met.
Does that mean I shouldn't workout? Does that mean I should not try to run or to compete in races or to enjoy physical activity? No. It means I lose the frantic need to workout (or ironically, as is often my case, the lazy rebellion of not working out because doing it for approval is so dang exhausting), and replace it with a peaceful, restful, enjoyable working out/running/what have you.
Before Jesus started his ministry at the transfiguration, God said concerning him, "This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased..." When Jesus died for me, the pleasure God had in his Son Jesus got transferred to me. Now he is pleased with me. This is what I am thankful for today. Real rest, real peace that comes from real and total approval from God through Jesus.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Thankful: Day 26 [Litte man is 21 months!]
It's the 26th, which means Henry is officially 21 months. He will not be 22 months before he becomes a big brother. SO WEIRD. I am so thankful for our sweet little baby and the 21 months we have gotten to be his parents.
I'll do my best to write a somewhat brief account of what he's up to these days. But let's be honest, it probably won't be brief. Those of you who are not great grandparents, grandparents, aunts, or uncles can feel free to skim and/or skip the rest of this post. Although I can't possibly understand who wouldn't want to obsess over my child. JK.
Talking. He talks so much, and is starting more and more to put words and phrases together. He needs an interpreter (me or Matt) for about 50% of his words, but I definitely see some improvement in a lot of pronunciations, so that's good.
I think the funniest word he says is "cold." He says, "duuuuuuke." No one except mommy and daddy know that he is saying "cold."
Another popular phase is "hop duum" which means "hop down" which actually means "stand up from the chair you are sitting in and follow me to wherever I want to go." He got "hop down" because whenever we sit on the couch and he wants off, I ask him if he wants to hop down.
He can also recall activities from the day. For instance, after he and Matt got home from the basketball game the other night, I asked him if he had fun at the game, and he started telling me everything he saw there... "Band, slam dunk, Mary!!" ("Mary" is his aunt, and she dances on the drill team for her high school - so Henry calls all dancers "Mary.") If they go to the park, he tells me about the slide and the swing. I find it amazing that kids this age can already remember so much.
He mimics me... I realize how much I use the filler, "Ummm." It's almost embarrassing because I'll be in a situation when I am about to say it, and he will say right before I was about to say it.
He also recognizes certain parking lots and places we frequent, so when we pull into the Taco Deli parking lot on Saturday mornings he says, "TACOS!" He knows a lot of our familiar places. When we leave the Starbucks drive through, he says "Eat!" (This is because sometimes when I get coffee, I will get him a pumpkin loaf or something for us to share.)
Playing. He loves to jump. Today we took him to an indoor trampoline park (for lack of a better description), and he LOVED it. The kid was so excited. He jumps pretty well on solid ground now, but also likes to jump off of furniture (dangerous) and off of curbs, etc. And of course, he loves jumping on his bed.
He still loves his toys, which I am thankful for - they could easily feel like a waste of money AND space, but he actually will sit and play with them. He also loves any and every kind of ball, blocks, toy animals and even stuffed animals. In fact, he shows A LOT of affection towards his stuffed animals - hugs and kisses them a lot.
Matt's ipad has proven to be the problem toy - aka the toy he is most addicted to, and the one we have to actually hide from him. However, I will say that the ipad is to credit for teaching Henry almost all of his colors and shapes. They have tons of educational apps for all ages. We are cheap, so we get the free ones. Since he has colors and shapes (mostly) down, we are going to start working on letters.
Henry is also obsessed with books - so much so that Matt and I are ready for him to have some new ones... I'm pretty sure we have all of them memorized at this point. (The other night Matt was reading goodnight moon, but obviously slipped into autopilot when he said, "And there were two little mittens and a pair of kittens." In case you don't have the book memorized, it reads, "...two little kittens and a pair of mittens.") So yes, Henry will be getting new books for Christmas this year.
Eating. Henry has a sweet tooth. The two of us together all day makes for a very dangerous pair. He loves his sugary condiments - jelly, ketchup, honey, brown sugar, etc. The upside to this is that he also loves fruit. And also, we can use some of the sugar to get him to eat healthy stuff (like I sneak veggies into quick breads and spaghetti sauce, etc.)
I would love for him to eat more vegetables, but for now I spend a decent amount of time figuring out how to sneak them into his food. The best we've accomplished is getting him to eat a TON of spinach hidden beneath layers of cheese and sauce on a pizza. I have also cooked and pureed mushrooms to add to pizza and quesadillas which has been successful. Baby food veggies have also been added into soups and sauces. It's the best I can do. I would also love for him to eat more beans, nuts, etc. We'll work on it. He's skeptical of new foods, so it's difficult to get him to try new stuff.
Ever since I watched Food, Inc. I've been pretty picky about what kind of meat he gets to eat, but that's been easy since Matt and I are eating the good stuff too. I am proud to say that he has only eaten at Chick-Fil-A ONE time since I watched that movie. I really did not want him to, but we were going with a group of friends, and I'd rather eat Chick-Fil-A every now and then than be a psycho and sacrifice the community aspect of food.
He's also very independent when he eats. Sometimes he won't eat if he's in a highchair because he just wants to sit like a big boy... or he wants to feed himself something that is so messy that we know will end up all over his hair and the floor. This can sometimes be a problem in public - we are still trying to figure out which battles to pick with him.
Sleeping. Still a great sleeper. We are at about 11.5 hours a night (much better than this summer when he was sleeping like 10 a night) plus a 1hr, 45 min nap each day. Doing great on the big boy bed - he's only woken up on the floor a handful of times. :)
I know I am leaving stuff out, but that's to be expected. Once again, so thankful for this little man and the smiles, laughter, and joy he brings us every single day.
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| This was taken today at the park. :) |
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| Ignore the burnt orange. |
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| We are sad it didn't get cold soon enough for Henry to wear this hand me down letter jacket more. It's too small now. |
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| Apologies for the ugly clothing he has on. |
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| Taken a couple of weeks ago at the park. He loves to hang from these rings. |
Talking. He talks so much, and is starting more and more to put words and phrases together. He needs an interpreter (me or Matt) for about 50% of his words, but I definitely see some improvement in a lot of pronunciations, so that's good.
I think the funniest word he says is "cold." He says, "duuuuuuke." No one except mommy and daddy know that he is saying "cold."
Another popular phase is "hop duum" which means "hop down" which actually means "stand up from the chair you are sitting in and follow me to wherever I want to go." He got "hop down" because whenever we sit on the couch and he wants off, I ask him if he wants to hop down.
He can also recall activities from the day. For instance, after he and Matt got home from the basketball game the other night, I asked him if he had fun at the game, and he started telling me everything he saw there... "Band, slam dunk, Mary!!" ("Mary" is his aunt, and she dances on the drill team for her high school - so Henry calls all dancers "Mary.") If they go to the park, he tells me about the slide and the swing. I find it amazing that kids this age can already remember so much.
He mimics me... I realize how much I use the filler, "Ummm." It's almost embarrassing because I'll be in a situation when I am about to say it, and he will say right before I was about to say it.
He also recognizes certain parking lots and places we frequent, so when we pull into the Taco Deli parking lot on Saturday mornings he says, "TACOS!" He knows a lot of our familiar places. When we leave the Starbucks drive through, he says "Eat!" (This is because sometimes when I get coffee, I will get him a pumpkin loaf or something for us to share.)
Playing. He loves to jump. Today we took him to an indoor trampoline park (for lack of a better description), and he LOVED it. The kid was so excited. He jumps pretty well on solid ground now, but also likes to jump off of furniture (dangerous) and off of curbs, etc. And of course, he loves jumping on his bed.
He still loves his toys, which I am thankful for - they could easily feel like a waste of money AND space, but he actually will sit and play with them. He also loves any and every kind of ball, blocks, toy animals and even stuffed animals. In fact, he shows A LOT of affection towards his stuffed animals - hugs and kisses them a lot.
Matt's ipad has proven to be the problem toy - aka the toy he is most addicted to, and the one we have to actually hide from him. However, I will say that the ipad is to credit for teaching Henry almost all of his colors and shapes. They have tons of educational apps for all ages. We are cheap, so we get the free ones. Since he has colors and shapes (mostly) down, we are going to start working on letters.
Henry is also obsessed with books - so much so that Matt and I are ready for him to have some new ones... I'm pretty sure we have all of them memorized at this point. (The other night Matt was reading goodnight moon, but obviously slipped into autopilot when he said, "And there were two little mittens and a pair of kittens." In case you don't have the book memorized, it reads, "...two little kittens and a pair of mittens.") So yes, Henry will be getting new books for Christmas this year.
Eating. Henry has a sweet tooth. The two of us together all day makes for a very dangerous pair. He loves his sugary condiments - jelly, ketchup, honey, brown sugar, etc. The upside to this is that he also loves fruit. And also, we can use some of the sugar to get him to eat healthy stuff (like I sneak veggies into quick breads and spaghetti sauce, etc.)
I would love for him to eat more vegetables, but for now I spend a decent amount of time figuring out how to sneak them into his food. The best we've accomplished is getting him to eat a TON of spinach hidden beneath layers of cheese and sauce on a pizza. I have also cooked and pureed mushrooms to add to pizza and quesadillas which has been successful. Baby food veggies have also been added into soups and sauces. It's the best I can do. I would also love for him to eat more beans, nuts, etc. We'll work on it. He's skeptical of new foods, so it's difficult to get him to try new stuff.
Ever since I watched Food, Inc. I've been pretty picky about what kind of meat he gets to eat, but that's been easy since Matt and I are eating the good stuff too. I am proud to say that he has only eaten at Chick-Fil-A ONE time since I watched that movie. I really did not want him to, but we were going with a group of friends, and I'd rather eat Chick-Fil-A every now and then than be a psycho and sacrifice the community aspect of food.
He's also very independent when he eats. Sometimes he won't eat if he's in a highchair because he just wants to sit like a big boy... or he wants to feed himself something that is so messy that we know will end up all over his hair and the floor. This can sometimes be a problem in public - we are still trying to figure out which battles to pick with him.
Sleeping. Still a great sleeper. We are at about 11.5 hours a night (much better than this summer when he was sleeping like 10 a night) plus a 1hr, 45 min nap each day. Doing great on the big boy bed - he's only woken up on the floor a handful of times. :)
I know I am leaving stuff out, but that's to be expected. Once again, so thankful for this little man and the smiles, laughter, and joy he brings us every single day.
Friday, November 25, 2011
38 Weeks
Yours truly is 38 weeks today! Matt took this picture at a favorable angle the very first time, and to be quite honest, I don't think it does the size of my belly justice, but I am not complaining. Nevertheless, here I am, ten minutes out of bed, fake smile and all...
I will be getting my hair fixed tomorrow, even though you can see that it really doesn't look too different from normal (and "banana blonde" might have been an exaggeration). The most embarrassing part about all of this is that I told the girl before she mixed the color, "You really can't screw it up - I'm not picky." Eat your words, Leah. Eat them. Lesson learned: tomorrow and from now on, I will be VERY, VERY, VERY specific about EXACTLY what I want.
I will be getting my hair fixed tomorrow, even though you can see that it really doesn't look too different from normal (and "banana blonde" might have been an exaggeration). The most embarrassing part about all of this is that I told the girl before she mixed the color, "You really can't screw it up - I'm not picky." Eat your words, Leah. Eat them. Lesson learned: tomorrow and from now on, I will be VERY, VERY, VERY specific about EXACTLY what I want.
Thankful: Day 25 [Went to sleep at half.]
Today I am thankful I went to sleep after halftime last night.
I have not watched an Aggie football game all year long, and I had a bad feeling about that football game yesterday. We watched the first half at Matt's parent's house, which was more than I wanted to watch, but it was fine. Then we got home at the start of the second half. While I was putting Henry to sleep in his room, the Aggies were destroying themselves. When I came back in the room, I took one look at the TV, saw that tu had taken the lead and that Tannehill had a look of fear in his eyes, and I made the very wise decision to not stay up for the rest of the dumb game.
And that's a good thing because at 5:45 AM Matt got up to go to the bathroom, and that's when I asked him if the Aggies lost, and he confirmed my suspicions. My blood pressure shot up immediately, for sure. It was best not to have had it elevated for the entire rest of the second half last night. Then I checked my phone, and I had a couple of "rub-it-in" messages from my tea-sip friends who apparently really needed a confidence boost. Hope you got what you were looking for.
You know, on second thought, maybe if I had stayed up, I would have gone into labor... Nah. Still thankful I went to sleep. I think I'll also stay away from Facebook for a few days - no need to watch the tea-sips gloat. Bad for blood pressure.
I have not watched an Aggie football game all year long, and I had a bad feeling about that football game yesterday. We watched the first half at Matt's parent's house, which was more than I wanted to watch, but it was fine. Then we got home at the start of the second half. While I was putting Henry to sleep in his room, the Aggies were destroying themselves. When I came back in the room, I took one look at the TV, saw that tu had taken the lead and that Tannehill had a look of fear in his eyes, and I made the very wise decision to not stay up for the rest of the dumb game.
And that's a good thing because at 5:45 AM Matt got up to go to the bathroom, and that's when I asked him if the Aggies lost, and he confirmed my suspicions. My blood pressure shot up immediately, for sure. It was best not to have had it elevated for the entire rest of the second half last night. Then I checked my phone, and I had a couple of "rub-it-in" messages from my tea-sip friends who apparently really needed a confidence boost. Hope you got what you were looking for.
You know, on second thought, maybe if I had stayed up, I would have gone into labor... Nah. Still thankful I went to sleep. I think I'll also stay away from Facebook for a few days - no need to watch the tea-sips gloat. Bad for blood pressure.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Thankful: Day 24 [Your sins are forgiven!]
Happy Thanksgiving! I think I have mostly recovered from the drama that went down yesterday, and this post will shed more light on that. I think it just might speak to you, too, so if you feel like you are in need of grace, read on. :) (Oh, and feel free to laugh at the previous post from this point on.)
I couldn't sleep this morning, and so I got up and started to read this book, into which I am only three chapters deep, but each chapter is so good that I've read them all twice.
God decided that he would be full of grace towards me, even just a few hours after I wrote last night's post. When is he not full of grace towards me? But you get what I'm saying.
Keller, in his book, is basically preaching through the book of Mark, and the chapter I just read was from Mark 2:5, Jesus tells a paralytic that has come to him to be healed, "Son, your sins are forgiven." Keller has a brilliant commentary on the whole story, which was particularly fitting for me today, considering my severe overreaction to a bad hair coloring experience. Without sharing too much detail from the book, Keller points out how we come to Jesus to get our problems fixed, and Jesus graciously chooses to first focus on solving our biggest, deepest problem - our sin against Him.
I could keep sharing more about what Keller had to say, but as soon as I read those words straight from scripture, "Your sins are forgiven." It was everything I could do to not pick up my computer immediately to share with you how thankful I am that it's TRUE! Is there a better thing to be thankful for on Thanksgiving Day? I do not think so.
So what does Jesus do? Does he say, "You bad, sinful, brat you! Don't you know that there's people out there who can't afford to eat on Thanksgiving, and you are upset about your hair!?" No. He tenderly, graciously comes to me in the morning, and says, "Dear child, it is okay. Your sins are forgiven. I love you." Ah. Forgiveness. Exactly what I need.
Oh, and then he proves it by living righteously in my place, dying in my place, and coming back to life.
I couldn't sleep this morning, and so I got up and started to read this book, into which I am only three chapters deep, but each chapter is so good that I've read them all twice.
Keller, in his book, is basically preaching through the book of Mark, and the chapter I just read was from Mark 2:5, Jesus tells a paralytic that has come to him to be healed, "Son, your sins are forgiven." Keller has a brilliant commentary on the whole story, which was particularly fitting for me today, considering my severe overreaction to a bad hair coloring experience. Without sharing too much detail from the book, Keller points out how we come to Jesus to get our problems fixed, and Jesus graciously chooses to first focus on solving our biggest, deepest problem - our sin against Him.
I could keep sharing more about what Keller had to say, but as soon as I read those words straight from scripture, "Your sins are forgiven." It was everything I could do to not pick up my computer immediately to share with you how thankful I am that it's TRUE! Is there a better thing to be thankful for on Thanksgiving Day? I do not think so.
Psalm 32:1-2 "Blessed (or happy) is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man against whom the LORD counts no iniquity..."You see, what's is even more upsetting to me about the fact that my hair got screwed up yesterday is that I care way, way too much about the whole thing. Quite honestly, I wish that I did not care, that I would not get upset, and that I could just laugh about it and move on and let Jesus be enough for me... I hate that my overreaction points to deeper insecurities, deeper problems. I hate that even though God has given me grace upon grace, victory upon victory in the vanity department (and he has), that I still can go ballistic like that.
So what does Jesus do? Does he say, "You bad, sinful, brat you! Don't you know that there's people out there who can't afford to eat on Thanksgiving, and you are upset about your hair!?" No. He tenderly, graciously comes to me in the morning, and says, "Dear child, it is okay. Your sins are forgiven. I love you." Ah. Forgiveness. Exactly what I need.
Oh, and then he proves it by living righteously in my place, dying in my place, and coming back to life.
"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" 1 John 3:1
"God shows his own love for us in this, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8So, on Thanksgiving Day, I am elated, overjoyed, BEYOND thankful that in Christ, I have redemption, the forgiveness of sins! To the praise of his glorious grace!
"In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation (or atoning sacrifice) for our sins." 1 John 4:10
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Thankful: Day 23 [Umm.]
I had plans to write this post earlier on in the day. I was going to say I was thankful that I was getting my hair highlighted today. A sneak peak into my vanity - I had a small, secret fear that the baby would decide to come before I had a chance to get my hair highlighted and the roots were looking pretty bad. Not that anyone cares.
Fast forward to now, and I would actually be much happier if I could have the baby with the hair I had before 4:30 PM today... roots and all.
Long story short - my normal girl (of like five years) got moved to another salon, so instead of going to her - which I should have done - I figured she left my formula in the computer and just went to the chick they were sending all of her old clients to. (I know that sentence isn't right, and I don't care.) Except my girl didn't leave my formula in the computer, and apparently "highlights" to me is equivalent to this new chick's "BANANA BLONDE." Ugh.
I'm not gonna lie, if I let myself, I could still tear up about it right now. I've actually been crying an embarrassing amount tonight. Okay, I still am.
Let me qualify all this by saying that I know my hair does not look THAT bad, and that probably no one will notice or care. However, I do notice and care, and to be honest, I don't really mind if you like my hair or not - I want to like it. So the problem is really with me and my attitude... I get that. I take that back, if I am being honest, I do care if you like my hair, but if I don't like it, I won't believe that you like it, even if you say that you do... so it doesn't really end up mattering if you like it or not. Got that? Good.
So anyway, when you are really pregnant- weighing way more than you feel comfortable weighing and your five year old nephew is calling you fat because he doesn't know any better... and people are commenting about how you are breathing too heavy... and other people are commenting about how BIG your certain unmentionable body parts are (which you hate and already feel self-conscious about), you want to do SOMETHING to feel attractive. Or at least I do. Call me immature or vain or whatever- I realize my issues - just being honest here. (Funny in light of yesterday's post, but whatever.)
So yeah, when I walk in the salon as a brunette with blonde highlights, tell the lady that I want "the exact same as last time," and leave looking like pregnant Barbie, I'm probably not going to handle it so well.
You might be wondering what this has to do with being thankful. And well, I am trying to figure it out too. So, off the top of my head, even though I am crying, even though my husband has no idea how in the world this situation could possibly justify so much drama, and even though I am angry that this happened and that I might possibly have to face the girl again because I'm not sure I can live with my new hair color.... I will find things to be thankful about even though I'm not quite passed the "pissed off" stage... (Forgive me for being so blunt.)
1. Thankful that no one cares about my hair more than me.
2. Thankful that situations like this actually do unveil sins in my heart - and things that matter far, far too much for me. It's not really fun, but at least when God shows me that dirt, I have hope that he will also free me from it.
3. Thankful that in two or three weeks I won't be breathing too hard, or being called fat by five year olds. Wish I could say that the unmentionable body parts would be getting smaller, too, but we all know that's not what happens...
4. Thankful that I have a blog - writing about this has been therapeutic. I am definitely over-sharing. Oh well. I'll regret it when some random person at my ten year HS reunion next year comes up to me and tells me that they read my blog. For now I'll just be thankful that writing this post has given me some temporary sanity.
5. Thankful for Henry. I managed to stop crying enough to read him some books, say prayers and put him to bed. He is a great distraction from myself.
I think that's good enough. I also would like to add that mirrors are the devil. With that, I am going to go apologize to my husband for being a psycho. Good night!
Fast forward to now, and I would actually be much happier if I could have the baby with the hair I had before 4:30 PM today... roots and all.
Long story short - my normal girl (of like five years) got moved to another salon, so instead of going to her - which I should have done - I figured she left my formula in the computer and just went to the chick they were sending all of her old clients to. (I know that sentence isn't right, and I don't care.) Except my girl didn't leave my formula in the computer, and apparently "highlights" to me is equivalent to this new chick's "BANANA BLONDE." Ugh.
I'm not gonna lie, if I let myself, I could still tear up about it right now. I've actually been crying an embarrassing amount tonight. Okay, I still am.
Let me qualify all this by saying that I know my hair does not look THAT bad, and that probably no one will notice or care. However, I do notice and care, and to be honest, I don't really mind if you like my hair or not - I want to like it. So the problem is really with me and my attitude... I get that. I take that back, if I am being honest, I do care if you like my hair, but if I don't like it, I won't believe that you like it, even if you say that you do... so it doesn't really end up mattering if you like it or not. Got that? Good.
So anyway, when you are really pregnant- weighing way more than you feel comfortable weighing and your five year old nephew is calling you fat because he doesn't know any better... and people are commenting about how you are breathing too heavy... and other people are commenting about how BIG your certain unmentionable body parts are (which you hate and already feel self-conscious about), you want to do SOMETHING to feel attractive. Or at least I do. Call me immature or vain or whatever- I realize my issues - just being honest here. (Funny in light of yesterday's post, but whatever.)
So yeah, when I walk in the salon as a brunette with blonde highlights, tell the lady that I want "the exact same as last time," and leave looking like pregnant Barbie, I'm probably not going to handle it so well.
You might be wondering what this has to do with being thankful. And well, I am trying to figure it out too. So, off the top of my head, even though I am crying, even though my husband has no idea how in the world this situation could possibly justify so much drama, and even though I am angry that this happened and that I might possibly have to face the girl again because I'm not sure I can live with my new hair color.... I will find things to be thankful about even though I'm not quite passed the "pissed off" stage... (Forgive me for being so blunt.)
1. Thankful that no one cares about my hair more than me.
2. Thankful that situations like this actually do unveil sins in my heart - and things that matter far, far too much for me. It's not really fun, but at least when God shows me that dirt, I have hope that he will also free me from it.
3. Thankful that in two or three weeks I won't be breathing too hard, or being called fat by five year olds. Wish I could say that the unmentionable body parts would be getting smaller, too, but we all know that's not what happens...
4. Thankful that I have a blog - writing about this has been therapeutic. I am definitely over-sharing. Oh well. I'll regret it when some random person at my ten year HS reunion next year comes up to me and tells me that they read my blog. For now I'll just be thankful that writing this post has given me some temporary sanity.
5. Thankful for Henry. I managed to stop crying enough to read him some books, say prayers and put him to bed. He is a great distraction from myself.
I think that's good enough. I also would like to add that mirrors are the devil. With that, I am going to go apologize to my husband for being a psycho. Good night!
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Thankful: Day 22 [Things I'm Tempted to Complain About]
Thanks to waaaaaay too much caffeine yesterday (don't judge), I am up at 3:05 AM. I should go back and add a label too all the posts written between the hours of 2AM and 5AM. Chances are, I wouldn't have much of a blog if it were not for my insomnia.
Anyway, today I am choosing to be thankful for things that I am most often just tempted to complain about. Isn't it amazing that even when we are totally blessed beyond blessed, we can still find the negative about things? I will look on the dark side no more...
I am thankful for Matt's job. I am thankful for the obvious things about it like the fact that we have food on the table and I can stay home with Henry and it requires no travel and is very flexible. I am so spoiled for sure. So spoiled that when, once in a blue moon, Matt has to be there early or stay "late" for a meeting, I manage to find a way to complain. And while we're on the topic, Matt is pretty amazing when it comes to drawing work boundaries - even though I know he is incredibly busy and could easily work 20 hours a week more than he actually does. He is so great to get off early so he can see and play with Henry. He tries to wait till Henry wakes up in the morning to leave. He gets off in the middle of the day if I have a Dr. appointment... or a hair highlight. :) And, he's even taken Henry to work with him when I've been sick before. Not only that, but he still makes time to workout (not as much as he'd like), to spend time with me, and to spend time with the Lord. So, God forgive me, when I complain about this blessing of a job and blessing of a husband.
Since that was so long, I'll go with just one more. Maybe tomorrow I will continue this theme.
Anyway, the other thing I will choose to be thankful for today is my pregnant body. It's no secret that weighing almost 35 extra pounds is not really my idea of a good time. I avoid cameras, wear black almost everyday, and try not to look in the mirror. But, how often do I forget what my body is accomplishing with that weight? I mean, first of all, I got pregnant. A gift in itself. Then tack on the fact that my body is literally supporting a life. I need to do a lot less grumbling and a lot more thanking. (I'll have to remember this when I am breastfeeding too. I am not one of those whose weight just "melts" off when I am nursing. In fact, I'd say the opposite - that nursing 1, makes me hold onto about five more pounds and 2, makes me certifiably insane hormonally.) So, with all that, I am thankful for extra blood, extra water, placenta, seven pounds of baby (Dr. estimate as of yesterday) in my uterus, and even the extra fat that comes along with all of it.
And, even though it's kind of scaring me right now, I am thankful for the fact that there is torrential downpour outside! Always thankful for rain in Austin, Texas.
Anyway, today I am choosing to be thankful for things that I am most often just tempted to complain about. Isn't it amazing that even when we are totally blessed beyond blessed, we can still find the negative about things? I will look on the dark side no more...
I am thankful for Matt's job. I am thankful for the obvious things about it like the fact that we have food on the table and I can stay home with Henry and it requires no travel and is very flexible. I am so spoiled for sure. So spoiled that when, once in a blue moon, Matt has to be there early or stay "late" for a meeting, I manage to find a way to complain. And while we're on the topic, Matt is pretty amazing when it comes to drawing work boundaries - even though I know he is incredibly busy and could easily work 20 hours a week more than he actually does. He is so great to get off early so he can see and play with Henry. He tries to wait till Henry wakes up in the morning to leave. He gets off in the middle of the day if I have a Dr. appointment... or a hair highlight. :) And, he's even taken Henry to work with him when I've been sick before. Not only that, but he still makes time to workout (not as much as he'd like), to spend time with me, and to spend time with the Lord. So, God forgive me, when I complain about this blessing of a job and blessing of a husband.
Since that was so long, I'll go with just one more. Maybe tomorrow I will continue this theme.
Anyway, the other thing I will choose to be thankful for today is my pregnant body. It's no secret that weighing almost 35 extra pounds is not really my idea of a good time. I avoid cameras, wear black almost everyday, and try not to look in the mirror. But, how often do I forget what my body is accomplishing with that weight? I mean, first of all, I got pregnant. A gift in itself. Then tack on the fact that my body is literally supporting a life. I need to do a lot less grumbling and a lot more thanking. (I'll have to remember this when I am breastfeeding too. I am not one of those whose weight just "melts" off when I am nursing. In fact, I'd say the opposite - that nursing 1, makes me hold onto about five more pounds and 2, makes me certifiably insane hormonally.) So, with all that, I am thankful for extra blood, extra water, placenta, seven pounds of baby (Dr. estimate as of yesterday) in my uterus, and even the extra fat that comes along with all of it.
And, even though it's kind of scaring me right now, I am thankful for the fact that there is torrential downpour outside! Always thankful for rain in Austin, Texas.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Thankful: Day 21 [More Lists]
- Music. Specifically the song "Tarzan Boy." You may lose respect for me after I've admitted to liking that song, but for some reason it puts a smile on my face. I heard it at a restaurant when I was on a date w/ Matt sometime this Summer, and I immediately Shazam-ed it, and then downloaded it. And back in the summer when I was
not sedentarystill working out a lot, it got me through many a flight of stairs on the stair master. I don't deny that I am a nerd.
- Crafty and creative people. While I am not one, I can appreciate those of you who are. And I will not lie, I CAN be inspired. For now, however, I am going to concentrate on getting pictures up all over my walls, which have literally been bare since we moved in our house almost FIVE years ago. Man I am old.
- People who don't like Starbucks. I am thankful for people who don't like Starbucks and here's why. I'm sure most of you, whether you drink coffee or not, have received a Starbucks gift card sometime in your lifetime. Well, what are people who don't like coffee and/or don't "speak" Starbucks language going to do with Starbucks gift cards? Obviously they are going to give them to their addict friends. For example, my friend, Rita (not her real name), who is preggo and due exactly one week before me, recently re-gifted me a very generous Starbucks gift card, and I am not sure I could be more happy w/ any other re-gift ever. So there you have it.
- Short work weeks. Family time. Thanksgiving.
- Dramatic toddler. I'm not sure if I've told you that Henry really plays up his injuries. Matt tells him that he is already a perfect soccer player (because I guess soccer players are very dramatic about their injuries). When Henry bumps his finger, he immediately will grab it, put on a frowny face and say in a whiny voice, "Hinger!" (Finger). The funniest is that he sometimes gets his knees confused with his elbow, so he will grab his knee and go, "Elbooooow." And we always look at him (probably reinforcing the drama), and say, "Did you hurt your [insert body part]?" (And by the way, not only does he play up real injuries, but he fakes injuries and pretends to be hurt when he is not.) Anyway, last night he fell off of my bed, face first, onto the ground and got a really ugly blue knot on his head as a result. It was ugly, and not a fun fall. Anyway, for the rest of the night, even after it was clear that he was feeling better, he'd grab his head and say, "BUUUUUUMP, HEEAAD!" Really I can't do the drama justice. But I am going to say I'm thankful for it because it is just so funny and provides endless entertainment.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Not sure what happened?
I just went to check the latest on our baby name poll, and it looks like somehow the poll either started over or got erased or something? Because last I checked (probably Friday), Sam was definitely in the lead and there had been at least 20 votes. Now it's saying that only 9 have voted. So thanks, blogger. N-O-T.
It does not matter anyway because we are now somewhat certain (I know I have said that at least two other times on here), that we DO have a name. However, I am feeling hesitant to share it "just in case" something changes. BUT it is most definitely the longest we've gone without changing our minds (approximately 48 hours).
I know you're all just DYING to know the name, and that you can't sleep at night not knowing, but you'll have to just hold out a little longer... till I feel like you've waited long enough.
And you're welcome for multiple posts in one day.
It does not matter anyway because we are now somewhat certain (I know I have said that at least two other times on here), that we DO have a name. However, I am feeling hesitant to share it "just in case" something changes. BUT it is most definitely the longest we've gone without changing our minds (approximately 48 hours).
I know you're all just DYING to know the name, and that you can't sleep at night not knowing, but you'll have to just hold out a little longer... till I feel like you've waited long enough.
And you're welcome for multiple posts in one day.
Thankful: Day 20 [Refining Relationships]
Marriage, children, family, extended family, close-knit community. These relationships are so good, and yet, at the very same time, these relationships are the ones that have the potential to drive us off the wall in a matter of nanoseconds. The closer we get to people, the more friction we are likely to experience.
I'd guess that a large majority of frustration in these tight-knit relationships comes because we want other people to be all about us.
Examples (Not that these have ever really happened):
I don't want to be embarrassed in public by my fussy (sweet, but fussy) toddler. Can't he understand that mommy needs to look like she has it all together in the parenting department? Not to mention that I really just don't want to bother with his behavior. So, really, Henry's behavior (in my mind) becomes not about him, or about God, but about me.
Or, I am pregnant (if you haven't gathered that). Therefore I must not do any work ifMatt someone else is available to do it for me. And clearly, I should never have to ask him to help me- I thought I married a mind reader? Obviously it's okay for me to feel like a great injustice has been done to me when I have to bend over (pregnant) and pick up Henry's blocks and sippy cups. Can't Matt SEE that I am pregnant? Nevermind all the work he's got going today. This is about me. I AM PREGNANT.
I'm thankful for these relationships today for a specific reason, and that reason is this: These relationships serve as a reminder (a sometimes inconvenient reminder) that the world does not revolve around me but around Someone greater than me. So when I feel the friction- when I find myself unjustifiably (or in rare cases, justifiably) frustrated- with the people that God has placed closest to me, I can move my attention from myself (and my supposed unmet needs) to Jesus and find the freedom that comes when I choose to revolve around Him instead.
If I do not want to be miserable and angry, then these relationships force me not to dwell on all of my unmet needs, and instead dwell on Jesus, who died in my place and met all of my eternal needs. They force me to ignore "injustices" done to me and concentrate on the grace of God towards me. Then I am free to truly love, forgive, and enjoy these people that God has placed in my life- so that hopefully they, too, can revolve around Him.
If I do want to be miserable, I could continue to insist that all these people revolve around me, but who wants to be miserable?
Thank God that He is greater than me. It's worth it to center my life around Him. And thank you, Lord, for these refining relationships.
I'd guess that a large majority of frustration in these tight-knit relationships comes because we want other people to be all about us.
Examples (Not that these have ever really happened):
I don't want to be embarrassed in public by my fussy (sweet, but fussy) toddler. Can't he understand that mommy needs to look like she has it all together in the parenting department? Not to mention that I really just don't want to bother with his behavior. So, really, Henry's behavior (in my mind) becomes not about him, or about God, but about me.
Or, I am pregnant (if you haven't gathered that). Therefore I must not do any work if
I'm thankful for these relationships today for a specific reason, and that reason is this: These relationships serve as a reminder (a sometimes inconvenient reminder) that the world does not revolve around me but around Someone greater than me. So when I feel the friction- when I find myself unjustifiably (or in rare cases, justifiably) frustrated- with the people that God has placed closest to me, I can move my attention from myself (and my supposed unmet needs) to Jesus and find the freedom that comes when I choose to revolve around Him instead.
If I do not want to be miserable and angry, then these relationships force me not to dwell on all of my unmet needs, and instead dwell on Jesus, who died in my place and met all of my eternal needs. They force me to ignore "injustices" done to me and concentrate on the grace of God towards me. Then I am free to truly love, forgive, and enjoy these people that God has placed in my life- so that hopefully they, too, can revolve around Him.
If I do want to be miserable, I could continue to insist that all these people revolve around me, but who wants to be miserable?
Thank God that He is greater than me. It's worth it to center my life around Him. And thank you, Lord, for these refining relationships.
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