Thankful: Day 30 [Community]

Were you afraid I wasn't going to finish?  Waited till almost the last hour, but I made it!

Today, I am thankful for community.  For best friends, family, family friends, my church and my small group, my mom's group and all the people that God has placed in my life...

Who rejoice when I rejoice, who mourn when I mourn, who are just there.

Confession.  I sometimes wish I could be best friends with everyone.  And sometimes I even get upset when I see other friendships form around me because I long for community with everyone.  Yes, I am guilty.  I want to know people well and I want people to know me well. 

But today I was thinking that God HAS given me the best of friends, the best of family, a community to love and that loves me.  So, to wrap of this thankfulness series- I am thankful for friends and community - all of them.  Or should I say, all of you?  You know who you are!

Thankful: Day 29 [Sleep]

"Unless the Lord builds the house,

its builders labor in vain.

Unless the Lord watches over the city,

the watchmen stand guard in vain.

In vain you rise early

and stay up late,

toiling for food to eat—

for he grants sleep to those he loves." 

Psalm 127:1-2

"I will lie down and sleep in peace,

for you alone, O Lord,

make me dwell in safety."

Psalm 4:8

lose the attitude, barista

So on Saturday, Matt graciously drove me through Starbucks - he was going to make me get out and go in to order, but I gently reminded him that I was very pregnant and it was cold outside.  I ordered my usual - a tall Pike's Place coffee with cream.  It wasn't till I was about to take my first sip, maybe 5 minutes later that I realized they forgot the cream.

At that point, we were already nearby another Starbucks, so I ended up walking inside anyway to put cream in my coffee - I've tried drinking it black before... just can't do it.

Fast forward to today.  I really needed coffee in order to get OUT of the house, but alas, there was none in my house at all.  I managed to pull myself together ENOUGH this morning to get in the car with Henry and go for a Starbucks run.  And it's a good thing because without that caffeine, we really might have stayed in our pajamas all day long.  In fact, I left the house in Matt's sweatpants - a risky move if I might say so. 

This time, I ordered a GRANDE coffee w/ cream.  When I reached the drive thru window, the barista tried to hand me a granola bar that I had definitely not ordered.  So when she handed me my coffee, I considered the granola bar mix up combined with Saturday's incident.  To make sure they didn't have my order confused with the person's behind me in line, I politely asked if the coffee had cream in it while removing the little "splash stick" to make sure that it was light brown colored and not black. (I was also thinking that if they forgot cream, I would NOT want be getting out of the car in Matt's sweatpants to fix the problem.)

Barista rudely interrupted my question in a very snotty tone.  "The coffee has everything you asked for in it."  I drove off.

Everything, huh?  Because I only asked for cream - so what else did you put in there, smarty pants?  Apparently she was offended that I would even think to ask if they got my order right. 

It's a good thing that I drove off before I felt the intensity of my reaction to barista, otherwise I might have been rude to her face.  (For the record, this barista has a track record with me... I was in the store when she was applying/interviewing for her job, and I cannot forget her because of the incident that happened that day.  Another story, another time.)  She's got an attitude.

How badly do I want to write the regional Starbucks manager and share my experiences with this lovely lady?  Unfortunately I don't know her name. Also thinking maybe I should give her some grace.  Times like these when I appreciate grace the most - when I realize how difficult it is for me to give it.

Thankful: Day 28 [Feeling Justified]

Most of you were probably not around to pay much attention to my most recent hair debacle over the Thanksgiving holiday - which is a good thing for me.  The drama and recovery are chronicled here and here, in case you missed it.

Anyway, I will have everyone know that I got it fixed on Saturday, and it looks much better.  Based on all the comments, I know you were very, very concerned.  (That or you're thinking, "Shut your mouth about the hair already!") HOWEVER...

Let me just say that the truth has come out NOW, after the crisis has been averted.  You see, I went to dinner with my most honest father and brother on Saturday night after everything was better.  At that point my dad said with some serious emphasis, "Oh, your hair looks MUCH better.  It looked really bad yesterday compared to this."  I almost thought he was just joking to poke fun at my overreaction (which he actually knew nothing about), but I kept asking him "Are you joking, or serious?" And it turns out, he meant it.  He admitted that he didn't think it looked "that bad" until he compared the old, messed up hair, with the newly improved hair.  My dad's wife at that point felt free to comment that she agreed it also looked much better now, etc.

So you see, people probably really didn't think my hair looked bad, but this just proves that my suspicions were accurate. Fortunately, Matt is not very observant, like at all, so I could look like I got hit by a train or an ugly stick, and he'd be happy regardless.

I am thankful to feel like it wasn't all in my head.  Thankful for the stylist who was really sweet to fix it for me and not take too much offense...  Thankful for the honesty of my male family members who have at times told me that I look "grungy" and other really nice adjectives like that.  Matt could never get away with such honesty.

Happy Monday!!!  Only two more days of this thankfulness series, and I can't lie and say I am not happy about it because I'm tired of hearing myself talk.

Thankful: Day 27 [Real Peace and Real Rest]

Confession.  I only really clean my house when my mother in law (I shorten it to MIL and FIL) is about to come over.  I used to clean for my church group, but now that they've been coming each week for three years, I am over trying to put on a good front for them.  They know the dirt in my heart, so why can't they see the dirt on my bathroom floor?

Matt's parents just started coming to our house sometime in the last year.  They come almost every week to babysit.  Which means Friday is cleaning day.  I used to get a little frantic trying to clean for them because, to be honest, my MIL might be the cleanest person on the planet.  (She will not take off her shoes in hotel rooms, she is constantly cleaning bathrooms, doing laundry, scrubbing the floor on her hands and knees - or making my FIL do it all for her.) (P.S. We have a good relationship - no need to worry she will take offense to any of that.)

Anyway, another confession.  Sometime this summer I realized just how sinful this "freak out," frantic cleaning actually is... because what I'm doing is trying to gain approval (or realistically just not lose approval) from other people, in this case my MIL.

I already have ultimate approval from God through Jesus.  I do not need anyone else's approval.  So what does this mean?  Does this mean that I just let my house get sloppy and never clean again?  No absolutely not.  What I was thinking about last night and this morning is that because I do already have approval, and because I do not have to earn it from anyone in any form, I can clean my house in a different way - a free and relaxed way.  I can have peace before I clean my house, while I clean my house, and after I leave my house with my MIL still in it, even if I don't clean it perfectly or have time to accomplish all of the cleaning I want.  Whereas, when I don't trust in the approval I have from God, I can only have peace after I have sufficiently cleaned my house.  It turns out that chores and cleaning can actually be enjoyable in themselves when you don't try to complete them out of an unmet need for approval or control.

An another example of this is working out and body image.  In my deepest heart, I really actually do enjoy to run, to workout, and to compete.  But you want to know what sucks the joy right out of running?  When I feel like I absolutely must run in order to be fit, in order to look good, in order to get approval from people.  On the other hand, if I believe that I have approval, on every single level, from God through Christ, then I no longer feel the need to workout in order to meet a need for approval but because that need is already met.

Does that mean I shouldn't workout?  Does that mean I should not try to run or to compete in races or to enjoy physical activity? No. It means I lose the frantic need to workout (or ironically, as is often my case, the lazy rebellion of not working out because doing it for approval is so dang exhausting), and replace it with a peaceful, restful, enjoyable working out/running/what have you.

Before Jesus started his ministry at the transfiguration, God said concerning him, "This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased..." When Jesus died for me, the pleasure God had in his Son Jesus got transferred to me.  Now he is pleased with me.  This is what I am thankful for today.  Real rest, real peace that comes from real and total approval from God through Jesus. 

Thankful: Day 26 [Litte man is 21 months!]

It's the 26th, which means Henry is officially 21 months.  He will not be 22 months before he becomes a big brother. SO WEIRD.  I am so thankful for our sweet little baby and the 21 months we have gotten to be his parents.

This was taken today at the park. :)

Ignore the burnt orange.

We are sad it didn't get cold soon enough for Henry to wear this hand me down letter jacket more.  It's too small now.

Apologies for the ugly clothing he has on.

Taken a couple of weeks ago at the park.  He loves to hang from these rings.

I'll do my best to write a somewhat brief account of what he's up to these days.  But let's be honest, it probably won't be brief.  Those of you who are not great grandparents, grandparents, aunts, or uncles can feel free to skim and/or skip the rest of this post.  Although I can't possibly understand who wouldn't want to obsess over my child. JK.

Talking.  He talks so much, and is starting more and more to put words and phrases together.  He needs an interpreter (me or Matt) for about 50% of his words, but I definitely see some improvement in a lot of pronunciations, so that's good.

I think the funniest word he says is "cold."  He says, "duuuuuuke."  No one except mommy and daddy know that he is saying "cold."

Another popular phase is "hop duum" which means "hop down" which actually means "stand up from the chair you are sitting in and follow me to wherever I want to go."  He got "hop down" because whenever we sit on the couch and he wants off, I ask him if he wants to hop down.

He can also recall activities from the day.  For instance, after he and Matt got home from the basketball game the other night, I asked him if he had fun at the game, and he started telling me everything he saw there... "Band, slam dunk, Mary!!" ("Mary" is his aunt, and she dances on the drill team for her high school - so Henry calls all dancers "Mary.")  If they go to the park, he tells me about the slide and the swing.  I find it amazing that kids this age can already remember so much.

He mimics me... I realize how much I use the filler, "Ummm."   It's almost embarrassing because I'll be in a situation when I am about to say it, and he will say right before I was about to say it.

He also recognizes certain parking lots and places we frequent, so when we pull into the Taco Deli parking lot on Saturday mornings he says, "TACOS!"  He knows a lot of our familiar places.  When we leave the Starbucks drive through, he says "Eat!"  (This is because sometimes when I get coffee, I will get him a pumpkin loaf or something for us to share.)

Playing.  He loves to jump. Today we took him to an indoor trampoline park (for lack of a better description), and he LOVED it.  The kid was so excited.  He jumps pretty well on solid ground now, but also likes to jump off of furniture (dangerous) and off of curbs, etc.  And of course, he loves jumping on his bed.

He still loves his toys, which I am thankful for - they could easily feel like a waste of money AND space, but he actually will sit and play with them.  He also loves any and every kind of ball, blocks, toy animals and even stuffed animals.  In fact, he shows A LOT of affection towards his stuffed animals - hugs and kisses them a lot.

Matt's ipad has proven to be the problem toy - aka the toy he is most addicted to, and the one we have to actually hide from him.  However, I will say that the ipad is to credit for teaching Henry almost all of his colors and shapes.  They have tons of educational apps for all ages.  We are cheap, so we get the free ones.  Since he has colors and shapes (mostly) down, we are going to start working on letters.

Henry is also obsessed with books - so much so that Matt and I are ready for him to have some new ones... I'm pretty sure we have all of them memorized at this point. (The other night Matt was reading goodnight moon, but obviously slipped into autopilot when he said, "And there were two little mittens and a pair of kittens."  In case you don't have the book memorized, it reads, "...two little kittens and a pair of mittens.")  So yes, Henry will be getting new books for Christmas this year.

Eating.  Henry has a sweet tooth.  The two of us together all day makes for a very dangerous pair.  He loves his sugary condiments - jelly, ketchup, honey, brown sugar, etc.  The upside to this is that he also loves fruit.  And also, we can use some of the sugar to get him to eat healthy stuff (like I sneak veggies into quick breads and spaghetti sauce, etc.)

I would love for him to eat more vegetables, but for now I spend a decent amount of time figuring out how to sneak them into his food.  The best we've accomplished is getting him to eat a TON of spinach hidden beneath layers of cheese and sauce on a pizza.  I have also cooked and pureed mushrooms to add to pizza and quesadillas which has been successful.  Baby food veggies have also been added into soups and sauces.  It's the best I can do.  I would also love for him to eat more beans, nuts, etc.  We'll work on it.  He's skeptical of new foods, so it's difficult to get him to try new stuff.

Ever since I watched Food, Inc. I've been pretty picky about what kind of meat he gets to eat, but that's been easy since Matt and I are eating the good stuff too.  I am proud to say that he has only eaten at Chick-Fil-A ONE time since I watched that movie.  I really did not want him to, but we were going with a group of friends, and I'd rather eat Chick-Fil-A every now and then than be a psycho and sacrifice the community aspect of food.

He's also very independent when he eats.  Sometimes he won't eat if he's in a highchair because he just wants to sit like a big boy... or he wants to feed himself something that is so messy that we know will end up all over his hair and the floor.  This can sometimes be a problem in public - we are still trying to figure out which battles to pick with him.

Sleeping.  Still a great sleeper.  We are at about 11.5 hours a night (much better than this summer when he was sleeping like 10 a night) plus a 1hr, 45 min nap each day.  Doing great on the big boy bed - he's only woken up on the floor a handful of times. :)


I know I am leaving stuff out, but that's to be expected.  Once again, so thankful for this little man and the smiles, laughter, and joy he brings us every single day.

38 Weeks

Yours truly is 38 weeks today! Matt took this picture at a favorable angle the very first time, and to be quite honest, I don't think it does the size of my belly justice, but I am not complaining.  Nevertheless, here I am, ten minutes out of bed, fake smile and all...

I will be getting my hair fixed tomorrow, even though you can see that it really doesn't look too different from normal (and "banana blonde" might have been an exaggeration). The most embarrassing part about all of this is that I told the girl before she mixed the color, "You really can't screw it up - I'm not picky." Eat your words, Leah. Eat them. Lesson learned: tomorrow and from now on, I will be VERY, VERY, VERY specific about EXACTLY what I want.

Thankful: Day 25 [Went to sleep at half.]

Today I am thankful I went to sleep after halftime last night.

I have not watched an Aggie football game all year long, and I had a bad feeling about that football game yesterday.  We watched the first half at Matt's parent's house, which was more than I wanted to watch, but it was fine.  Then we got home at the start of the second half.  While I was putting Henry to sleep in his room, the Aggies were destroying themselves.  When I came back in the room, I took one look at the TV, saw that tu had taken the lead and that Tannehill had a look of fear in his eyes, and I made the very wise decision to not stay up for the rest of the dumb game. 

And that's a good thing because at 5:45 AM Matt got up to go to the bathroom, and that's when I asked him if the Aggies lost, and he confirmed my suspicions.  My blood pressure shot up immediately, for sure.  It was best not to have had it elevated for the entire rest of the second half last night. Then I checked my phone, and I had a couple of "rub-it-in" messages from my tea-sip friends who apparently really needed a confidence boost. Hope you got what you were looking for.

You know, on second thought, maybe if I had stayed up, I would have gone into labor...  Nah.  Still thankful I went to sleep.  I think I'll also stay away from Facebook for a few days - no need to watch the tea-sips gloat.  Bad for blood pressure.

Thankful: Day 24 [Your sins are forgiven!]

Happy Thanksgiving!  I think I have mostly recovered from the drama that went down yesterday, and this post will shed more light on that.  I think it just might speak to you, too, so if you feel like you are in need of grace, read on. :)  (Oh, and feel free to laugh at the previous post from this point on.)

I couldn't sleep this morning, and so I got up and started to read this book, into which I am only three chapters deep, but each chapter is so good that I've read them all twice.

 

God decided that he would be full of grace towards me, even just a few hours after I wrote last night's post.  When is he not full of grace towards me?  But you get what I'm saying.

Keller, in his book, is basically preaching through the book of Mark, and the chapter I just read was from Mark 2:5, Jesus tells a paralytic that has come to him to be healed, "Son, your sins are forgiven."  Keller has a brilliant commentary on the whole story, which was particularly fitting for me today, considering my severe overreaction to a bad hair coloring experience.  Without sharing too much detail from the book, Keller points out how we come to Jesus to get our problems fixed, and Jesus graciously chooses to first focus on solving our biggest, deepest problem - our sin against Him. 

I could keep sharing more about what Keller had to say, but as soon as I read those words straight from scripture, "Your sins are forgiven."  It was everything I could do to not pick up my computer immediately to share with you how thankful I am that it's TRUE!  Is there a better thing to be thankful for on Thanksgiving Day?  I do not think so.

Psalm 32:1-2 "Blessed (or happy) is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man against whom the LORD counts no iniquity..."

You see, what's is even more upsetting to me about the fact that my hair got screwed up yesterday is that I care way, way too much about the whole thing.  Quite honestly, I wish that I did not care, that I would not get upset, and that I could just laugh about it and move on and let Jesus be enough for me...  I hate that my overreaction points to deeper insecurities, deeper problems.  I hate that even though God has given me grace upon grace, victory upon victory in the vanity department (and he has), that I still can go ballistic like that.

So what does Jesus do?  Does he say, "You bad, sinful, brat you!  Don't you know that there's people out there who can't afford to eat on Thanksgiving, and you are upset about your hair!?"  No.  He tenderly, graciously comes to me in the morning, and says, "Dear child, it is okay. Your sins are forgiven.  I love you."  Ah. Forgiveness. Exactly what I need.

Oh, and then he proves it by living righteously in my place, dying in my place, and coming back to life.

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" 1 John 3:1

"God shows his own love for us in this, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

"In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation (or atoning sacrifice) for our sins." 1 John 4:10

So, on Thanksgiving Day, I am elated, overjoyed, BEYOND thankful that in Christ, I have redemption, the forgiveness of sins!  To the praise of his glorious grace!

Thankful: Day 23 [Umm.]

I had plans to write this post earlier on in the day.  I was going to say I was thankful that I was getting my hair highlighted today.  A sneak peak into my vanity - I had a small, secret fear that the baby would decide to come before I had a chance to get my hair highlighted and the roots were looking pretty bad.  Not that anyone cares.

Fast forward to now, and I would actually be much happier if I could have the baby with the hair I had before 4:30 PM today... roots and all.

Long story short - my normal girl (of like five years) got moved to another salon, so instead of going to her - which I should have done - I figured she left my formula in the computer and just went to the chick they were sending all of her old clients to.  (I know that sentence isn't right, and I don't care.)  Except my girl didn't leave my formula in the computer, and apparently "highlights" to me is equivalent to this new chick's "BANANA BLONDE." Ugh.

I'm not gonna lie, if I let myself, I could still tear up about it right now.  I've actually been crying an embarrassing amount tonight.  Okay, I still am.

Let me qualify all this by saying that I know my hair does not look THAT bad, and that probably no one will notice or care.  However, I do notice and care, and to be honest, I don't really mind if you like my hair or not - I want to like it.  So the problem is really with me and my attitude... I get that.  I take that back, if I am being honest, I do care if you like my hair, but if I don't like it, I won't believe that you like it, even if you say that you do... so it doesn't really end up mattering if you like it or not. Got that? Good.

So anyway, when you are really pregnant- weighing way more than you feel comfortable weighing and your five year old nephew is calling you fat because he doesn't know any better... and people are commenting about how you are breathing too heavy... and other people are commenting about how BIG your certain unmentionable body parts are (which you hate and already feel self-conscious about), you want to do SOMETHING to feel attractive. Or at least I do.  Call me immature or vain or whatever- I realize my issues - just being honest here. (Funny in light of yesterday's post, but whatever.)

So yeah, when I walk in the salon as a brunette with blonde highlights, tell the lady that I want "the exact same as last time," and leave looking like pregnant Barbie, I'm probably not going to handle it so well.

You might be wondering what this has to do with being thankful.  And well, I am trying to figure it out too.  So, off the top of my head, even though I am crying, even though my husband has no idea how in the world this situation could possibly justify so much drama, and even though I am angry that this happened and that I might possibly have to face the girl again because I'm not sure I can live with my new hair color.... I will find things to be thankful about even though I'm not quite passed the "pissed off" stage... (Forgive me for being so blunt.)

1. Thankful that no one cares about my hair more than me.
2.  Thankful that situations like this actually do unveil sins in my heart - and things that matter far, far too much for me.  It's not really fun, but at least when God shows me that dirt, I have hope that he will also free me from it.
3.  Thankful that in two or three weeks I won't be breathing too hard, or being called fat by five year olds.  Wish I could say that the unmentionable body parts would be getting smaller, too, but we all know that's not what happens...
4. Thankful that I have a blog - writing about this has been therapeutic.  I am definitely over-sharing.  Oh well.  I'll regret it when some random person at my ten year HS reunion next year comes up to me and tells me that they read my blog.  For now I'll just be thankful that writing this post has given me some temporary sanity.
5.  Thankful for Henry.  I managed to stop crying enough to read him some books, say prayers and put him to bed.  He is a great distraction from myself.

I think that's good enough.  I also would like to add that mirrors are the devil.  With that, I am going to go apologize to my husband for being a psycho.  Good night!

Thankful: Day 22 [Things I'm Tempted to Complain About]

Thanks to waaaaaay too much caffeine yesterday (don't judge), I am up at 3:05 AM.  I should go back and add a label too all the posts written between the hours of 2AM and 5AM.  Chances are, I wouldn't have much of a blog if it were not for my insomnia.

Anyway, today I am choosing to be thankful for things that I am most often just tempted to complain about.  Isn't it amazing that even when we are totally blessed beyond blessed, we can still find the negative about things?  I will look on the dark side no more...

I am thankful for Matt's job.  I am thankful for the obvious things about it like the fact that we have food on the table and I can stay home with Henry and it requires no travel and is very flexible.  I am so spoiled for sure.  So spoiled that when, once in a blue moon, Matt has to be there early or stay "late" for a meeting, I manage to find a way to complain.  And while we're on the topic, Matt is pretty amazing when it comes to drawing work boundaries - even though I know he is incredibly busy and could easily work 20 hours a week more than he actually does.  He is so great to get off early so he can see and play with Henry.  He tries to wait till Henry wakes up in the morning to leave.  He gets off in the middle of the day if I have a Dr. appointment... or a hair highlight. :)  And, he's even taken Henry to work with him when I've been sick before.  Not only that, but he still makes time to workout (not as much as he'd like), to spend time with me, and to spend time with the Lord.  So, God forgive me, when I complain about this blessing of a job and blessing of a husband.

Since that was so long, I'll go with just one more.  Maybe tomorrow I will continue this theme.

Anyway, the other thing I will choose to be thankful for today is my pregnant body.  It's no secret that weighing almost 35 extra pounds is not really my idea of a good time.  I avoid cameras, wear black almost everyday, and try not to look in the mirror.  But, how often do I forget what my body is accomplishing with that weight?  I mean, first of all, I got pregnant. A gift in itself.  Then tack on the fact that my body is literally supporting a life.  I need to do a lot less grumbling and a lot more thanking.  (I'll have to remember this when I am breastfeeding too.  I am not one of those whose weight just "melts" off when I am nursing.  In fact, I'd say the opposite - that nursing 1, makes me hold onto about five more pounds and 2, makes me certifiably insane hormonally.)  So, with all that, I am thankful for extra blood, extra water, placenta, seven pounds of baby (Dr. estimate as of yesterday) in my uterus, and even the extra fat that comes along with all of it.

And, even though it's kind of scaring me right now, I am thankful for the fact that there is torrential downpour outside!  Always thankful for rain in Austin, Texas.

Thankful: Day 21 [More Lists]

• Music.  Specifically the song "Tarzan Boy."  You may lose respect for me after I've admitted to liking that song, but for some reason it puts a smile on my face.  I heard it at a restaurant when I was on a date w/ Matt sometime this Summer, and I immediately Shazam-ed it, and then downloaded it.  And back in the summer when I was not sedentary still working out a lot, it got me through many a flight of stairs on the stair master.  I don't deny that I am a nerd.

• Crafty and creative people.  While I am not one, I can appreciate those of you who are.  And I will not lie, I CAN be inspired.  For now, however, I am going to concentrate on getting pictures up all over my walls, which have literally been bare since we moved in our house almost FIVE years ago. Man I am old.

• People who don't like Starbucks.  I am thankful for people who don't like Starbucks and here's why.  I'm sure most of you, whether you drink coffee or not, have received a Starbucks gift card sometime in your lifetime.  Well, what are people who don't like coffee and/or don't "speak" Starbucks language going to do with Starbucks gift cards?  Obviously they are going to give them to their addict friends.  For example, my friend, Rita (not her real name), who is preggo and due exactly one week before me, recently re-gifted me a very generous Starbucks gift card, and I am not sure I could be more happy w/ any other re-gift ever.  So there you have it.

• Short work weeks.  Family time.  Thanksgiving.

• Dramatic toddler.  I'm not sure if I've told you that Henry really plays up his injuries.  Matt tells him that he is already a perfect soccer player (because I guess soccer players are very dramatic about their injuries).  When Henry bumps his finger, he immediately will grab it, put on a frowny face and say in a whiny voice, "Hinger!" (Finger).  The funniest is that he sometimes gets his knees confused with his elbow, so he will grab his knee and go, "Elbooooow."  And we always look at him (probably reinforcing the drama), and say, "Did you hurt your [insert body part]?"  (And by the way, not only does he play up real injuries, but he fakes injuries and pretends to be hurt when he is not.)  Anyway, last night he fell off of my bed, face first, onto the ground and got a really ugly blue knot on his head as a result.  It was ugly, and not a fun fall.  Anyway, for the rest of the night, even after it was clear that he was feeling better, he'd grab his head and say, "BUUUUUUMP, HEEAAD!"  Really I can't do the drama justice.  But I am going to say I'm thankful for it because it is just so funny and provides endless entertainment.

Not sure what happened?

I just went to check the latest on our baby name poll, and it looks like somehow the poll either started over or got erased or something?  Because last I checked (probably Friday), Sam was definitely in the lead and there had been at least 20 votes.  Now it's saying that only 9 have voted.  So thanks, blogger. N-O-T.

It does not matter anyway because we are now somewhat certain (I know I have said that at least two other times on here), that we DO have a name.  However, I am feeling hesitant to share it "just in case" something changes.  BUT it is most definitely the longest we've gone without changing our minds (approximately 48 hours).

I know you're all just DYING to know the name, and that you can't sleep at night not knowing, but you'll have to just hold out a little longer... till I feel like you've waited long enough.

And you're welcome for multiple posts in one day.

Thankful: Day 20 [Refining Relationships]

Marriage, children, family, extended family, close-knit community.  These relationships are so good, and yet, at the very same time, these relationships are the ones that have the potential to drive us off the wall in a matter of nanoseconds.  The closer we get to people, the more friction we are likely to experience.  

I'd guess that a large majority of frustration in these tight-knit relationships comes because we want other people to be all about us.

Examples (Not that these have ever really happened):

I don't want to be embarrassed in public by my fussy (sweet, but fussy) toddler.  Can't he understand that mommy needs to look like she has it all together in the parenting department?  Not to mention that I really just don't want to bother with his behavior.  So, really, Henry's behavior (in my mind) becomes not about him, or about God, but about me.

Or, I am pregnant (if you haven't gathered that).  Therefore I must not do any work if Matt someone else is available to do it for me.  And clearly, I should never have to ask him to help me- I thought I married a mind reader?  Obviously it's okay for me to feel like a great injustice has been done to me when I have to bend over (pregnant) and pick up Henry's blocks and sippy cups.  Can't Matt SEE that I am pregnant?  Nevermind all the work he's got going today. This is about me.  I AM PREGNANT.

I'm thankful for these relationships today for a specific reason, and that reason is this: These relationships serve as a reminder (a sometimes inconvenient reminder) that the world does not revolve around me but around Someone greater than me.  So when I feel the friction- when I find myself unjustifiably (or in rare cases, justifiably) frustrated- with the people that God has placed closest to me, I can move my attention from myself  (and my supposed unmet needs) to Jesus and find the freedom that comes when I choose to revolve around Him instead.

If I do not want to be miserable and angry, then these relationships force me not to dwell on all of my unmet needs, and instead dwell on Jesus, who died in my place and met all of my eternal needs.  They force me to ignore "injustices" done to me and concentrate on the grace of God towards me.  Then I am free to truly love, forgive, and enjoy these people that God has placed in my life- so that hopefully they, too, can revolve around Him.

If I do want to be miserable, I could continue to insist that all these people revolve around me, but who wants to be miserable?

Thank God that He is greater than me.  It's worth it to center my life around Him.  And thank you, Lord, for these refining relationships.

Thankful: Day 19 [Productivity & Rest]

I'm tempted to say, once again, that I am thankful for Saturdays because seriously, Saturdays are awesome, but that would be a cop out.  So instead I will share with you specific things that I am thankful for, which often happen on Saturdays.

I am thankful for productivity.  During the week, getting anything accomplished that it outside the realm of laundry, cleaning, dinner or dishes has proven to be a challenge - especially when I am pregnant (aka moving at half my normal pace) with a toddler (make that 1/5th of my normal pace).  Because Matt is such a good daddy and does all sorts of fun stuff with Henry on Saturdays (today it was Frisbee Golf), I am able to accomplish between three and five errands instead of just one.  Somehow it feels so good to cross things off that to-do list.  So today, I am thankful for productivity.

I am also thankful for rest.  The BEST part about Saturday is that there is time to be productive AND time to rest.  And on that note, I am going to take a nap.

Thankful: Day 18 [Full Term]

Baby boy would not be considered a preemie if he came today. Yes, I am officially 37 weeks. When I was a rookie, I thought this meant "any day now." So I didn't make any plans, and I pretty much was always warning people that I might not be around next week.  Now I know better - my babies like the womb. And if they don't, well I'll just be terribly unprepared surprised. Three more weeks!

I will try to take and post a belly picture today, but I woke up in the middle of the night again, and I will probably look zombie-ish all day so no promises.

Thankful: Day 17 [CBS, etc.]

Thursday is CBS day.  That's Community Bible Study.  Last year was the first year I went, and I liked it enough to keep coming!  We are studying the book of Revelation - you know the last book in the Bible that's really scary and confusing and that no one ever wants to read.  We have a fabulous teacher, and even though I am about 99% sure that I am the youngest person in the entire Bible Study (of over 100 people), I still love it. 

And while we're at it... the etc.

• I'm thankful for my wedge pillow and heating pad.  I fall asleep on them every single night.  When I try to fall asleep without them, I can feel my back throbbing.  (Perhaps if I had used them during my last pregnancy we might not have ended up splurging on a king-sized bed with a really comfy mattress... definitely a pregnancy "impluse" buy, but neither me or Matt ever buy anything that costs more than $5.00 impulsively, so you can't really call it that.)
• Thankful for floss.  Because who likes food to get stuck in between their teeth?
• Thankful for Christmas pajamas.  Matt's family gets Christmas pajamas every year.  Today I found a pair of Matt's long but light Christmas pajama pants from last year - he had never even taken the tag off!  I stole them, and they are now mine.  If there's anything hotter than a pregnant woman, it's a pregnant woman in her hubby's pajama pants.
• Thankful for easy posts and simple things like those mentioned here.  Promise I won't cop-out like this every other day in November.

Overposting, Oversharing

It's my blog, I can do what I want to.

I thought I'd share (since I'm in the business of oversharing) this very ironic story about our "Henry" song.  Ironic considering some of the names that are in the lead over there on that poll.

My mom makes up songs for all of her grand-kids when they are born.  (Or more accurately, changes the words to songs that already exist.)  One of Henry's songs is just different words to the song, "I'm Henry the 8th."

It goes like this:

I'm Henry Webb I am, Henry Webb I am, I am
I was born into the Gibson clan
They welcomed me with open hands
Everyone called me Henry
They wouldn't have a WILLIE or SAM
I'm the first grandson, I'm Henry
Henry Webb I am I am, Henry Webb I am.

And looky there! William and Samuel are up there at the top of the list.  (At least as of now.)  So would we have to change the words to Henry's song?  And my goodness, I had no idea people liked the name "Sam" so much.  Seriously.  Or maybe you just don't like any of the other names, but I don't really care.

Anyway, here's to spending way, way, waaaaaaay too much time thinking about this over the last 48 hours.

Thankful: Day 16 [Another List]

So many good things to be thankful about.  I will have to do more bullet points today.

• It RAINED yesterday.  Henry thought the thunder was an airplane.
• High school friends.  I get together every couple months with some good friends from high school, and I am thankful that I still have these relationships after like 10 years. TEN YEARS, PEOPLE.
• Now, Henry might have not gone to sleep till 9:30 or 10:00 the past two nights, but yesterday morning he slept till 9:15, and then I finally had to wake him up.  Dreamy? Yes. Thankful? Yes.  Although we should probably shoot for 8PM - 8AM instead.  That's a little more doable at night.
• Baby name polls.  Even though, not going to lie, it disrupts my ability to decide even more.  Perhaps when this is all said and done - or before then - I will share with you the journey of this naming (or no-naming) experience - and all the rational and irrational thoughts that have gone into the no-naming of our #2.  Maybe I should just name him "Dos."  Or "Gibson (meaning: son of Gib) Gibson."
• Finally, I'm thankful that life is not all about me.  Life would be pretty boring if the world revolved around me.  I'd be a pretty miserable person if the world and everything was all about me.  Thank God that it IS all about Him and what He's doing.  Even scratching the surface of that truth brings freedom and joy.

VOTE for a NAME!

Okay, friends, we are feeling desperate for a baby name.  When I'm asking my five year old nephew and my less than two year old son what we should name our child, it's bad.  It's worse when I start typing into Google, "What should I name my baby?"  Then I get routed to a site called "baby genie" and it literally just produces a random name for me.

So, if you'll direct your attention to the side of my blog, there is a poll with FIVE NAMES in no particular order. I made a poll last night on Baby Center, and the names on that poll were different (some were the same- oh, and one is spelled wrong, but it's out anyway).  Quite honestly, I don't love or hate any of these names more than the other.  Some of them Matt likes more than me and vis versa.  Our families seem to have strong opinions in opposite directions, so most likely, this poll won't get us any closer to a decision.  There's a chance that the name we give our child isn't even on this list. (Matt has been trying to make up his own names.)

Anyway, please vote, so we don't end up leaving the hospital with a baby named "Brother Gibson" or "Boy Gibson" or "Gibblet Gibson" (as Matt has been fondly referring to him against my will).

Oh and feel free to be brave and comment with your own potential name ideas.  We could have literally added five more to this list.

Thankful: Day 15 [Mom's Group]

Tuesday is mom's group day.  I'm so thankful for my mom's group- or whatever you want to call it.  It's a group of women, not necessarily from my church, who love God and help me love Him more.  Our kiddos go upstairs or outside with babysitters (also thankful for them), while we get some adult time over coffee and snacks to read and apply the Bible to our lives and to pray for each other.

Thankful: Day 14 [Undecided]

Today's post snuck up on me. Somehow I could not go back to sleep after waking up at 3 AM, but I am going to try here in about two minutes when I finish this post.  Since I could not choose just one, here's a short list of things I am thankful about today.

• I have my 36 week appointment today.  Exciting.  Thankful we are down to weekly appts.
• I'm thankful for water.  It has been an integral part of keeping my swelling down.
• Thankful for spell check.  Without it, you guys would know how dumb I actually am.
• Thankful for Matt, an awesome hubby and daddy who took Henry to his first UT basketball game last night.  Thankful for the "free" time I got as a result.
• Thankful for my church.
• Thankful for the rare moments when everything in my house, including Henry's toys and the laundry, are put away and cleaned up.
• Thankful for cereal because 1- it's good and 2- it does something to my blood sugar that helps me fall back asleep after I've been awake for two hours in the middle of the night.
• Jesus. Always. I love Him.
• And finally, thankful that I'm tired enough to fall back asleep now, so I will hopefully get at least two more hours before it's time to get ready for my Dr. appointment.

Thankful: Day 13 [Picture Posts/Silly Toddler]

I've said it before, I'll say it again.  This thankfulness series is ambitious.  And it's starting to get brutal because, quite honestly, I don't like to "hear" myself "talk" this much.  Plus it's a big jump to go from two to three posts a week to posting every single day.  And, as a blog reader, I'm sure you feel the pressure.  I can only assume "readership" (is that a word?) has dropped off, and I can't blame you because I'd be overwhelmed too.

So, to keep you from reading your brain out, I'll make this post a picture post.  Now that I'm thinking about it, maybe I'll make the rest of the thankfulness posts filled with pictures.  Much more pleasing to the eyes. (And it will give me a reason to take pictures of something other than Henry.)

Henry has been sleeping great in his "bih-buh-beh" (translation: big boy bed).  He went from 10.5 hours a night to 12 hours a night! That probably has more to do with daylight savings/less sunlight, but I am very thankful for it regardless!  I took this picture one morning this week when he literally would not wake up, even after I went in his room and tried to wake him.

I know I already posted one in his Halloween costume, but I feel as though this is justified since this picture was actually taken on the night of Halloween and the other one was not.  Plus I do think he might be the cutest penguin on the planet.

Henry LOVES to steal my camera and take pictures with it.  Normally we get blurry pictures of nothing, but with a little help from mommy, he actually got a decent self-pic in this one.

And then he snapped a pic of his feet.  Also with mommy's help.  They kind of look swollen, don't they?  You could have confused them for my feet!!

There you go. Day 13 - Thankful for picture posts and a silly toddler named Henry.

Thankful: Day 12 [Staycations and Babysitters]

Matt's parents are watching Henry this weekend, which I am so thankful for!  They are such great grandparents - they babysit weekly, and then they act like we are doing them a favor.  It really is dreamy.

So Matt and I were going to go out to the lake, but plans changed, and we are staying at home without the little guy.  I've decided I'm also thankful for this last minute change of plans because I am in serious nesting mode, and unless I make myself think differently, all I think about all day long is getting stuff done around the house.  So being "stuck" 45 minutes away from home and not taking an opportunity without child to actually accomplish something this weekend would have been brutal for me.

Thankful for staycations and babysitters!

Oh, and of course, the one day that Henry is not sleeping with us, I wake up totally restless at 4:45 am.

Thankful: Day 11 [Awkward Preggo Situations, Etc.]

One good thing about my insanely painful nerve pain: it leads to funny and awkward interactions in public.  I'm thankful for these situations because who doesn't love a good laugh?

I wish I could describe this nerve pain for you.  Let's suffice it to say that I can be walking along normally and all of the sudden I get shooting pains all the way down the front or back of my legs (that's femoral and sciatic nerves, respectively) which sometimes literally causes me to fall to the floor (if I am at home), and no that is not a dramatic overreaction.

Yesterday at Target, I was finished shopping, approaching the checkout counter, when this terrible pain struck me in both legs at once.  I literally had to stop in my tracks, I hunched over at the waist and was squirming, and I let out an "Ooooh... Ughhh!"  I then looked up at the sweet, young, innocent checker girl who had a look of fear in her eyes.  (I'm about 99% sure she thought I was having a contraction.)  Instead of setting the record straight, I just go, "Sorry about that."

It wasn't till a few seconds later that I realized how funny the interaction actually was.

Then I started imagining how fun it would be, if I was a better actress, to play pranks on people all the time.

Like, Matt's been dying for me to pretend like I'm not pregnant when someone asks me when I am due.  He wanted me to do it in the last pregnancy, and he still wants me to do it.  Just to act really offended and/or confused, and then say, "Oh, I'm not pregnant."

It would also be kind of fun to pull the "I'm in labor" trick on someone when I'm actually not, but then you have the whole "boy who cried wolf" thing, and that wouldn't be cool.

Now that I'm thinking about it, it WOULD be funny to pretend that my water broke.  It would have to be the perfect situation (Thanksgiving Dinner maybe?), but it would be awesome...

Anyway, this reminds me of one prank I did pull on Matt last pregnancy.  As you all know, I am a fan of epidurals.  As you may also know, my pain tolerance is low (EXCEPT WITH THE NERVE PAIN - I'M TELLING YOU THAT'S REAL), my drama level is high, and natural labor has never been a thought for me.  (I'm also thankful for the freedom to get an epidural.)  So sometime in the last few weeks of my last pregnancy, I decided to play a trick on Matt, and our conversation went something like this.

Leah: Hey babe, I've been praying about it, and I think that I want to go natural in childbirth.
Matt:  Really? (Like, with a half smile, trying to figure out if I am joking or not?)
Leah: (Continue in serious tone) Yeah, you know, I've been thinking, if I ever have to suffer physically for the gospel, natural labor would be really good training for that.  Also, God made our bodies to be able to handle this pain, so I think he just wants me to endure that.
Matt: (Face turns serious and he secretly wonders whether he or anyone else can make it out of the delivery room alive with me not on medication) "Okay. Wow."
Leah: (Can't take it any longer.) JUST KIDDING!
Both of us: laugh! hahahahaha  (And he probably called me a butthead or something of the sort.)

So there you have it day 11.  Thankful for humor, awkwardness, pranks, and the freedom to get an epidural!

Thankful: Day 10 [Peppermint Ice Cream]

I am thankful for Blue Bell Peppermint Ice Cream.  Need I say more?

I guess to save this from being a cop-out post, I will list some more food stuff I am thankful for.

I am thankful that yesterday's Groupon was for "Branch Ranch Natural" meats.  I just recently watched "Food, Inc." and I am not sure my life will ever be the same - at least as far as meat is concerned. Trust me, I watched "Supersize Me" in college, and it doesn't even compare to "Food, Inc."  I won't lecture you, and I'm going to try not to become a total fanatic (because our grocery bill might quadruple if I did- and I'd have to give up Blue Bell Peppermint Ice Cream), but I will say I was super excited about that Groupon!

Other food I am thankful for?

• Soups that I can cook on Monday and then eat all week with leftovers to freeze so that I don't have to cook next week either.

• Breads/Muffins that I can bake on Monday and then eat all week so I don't have to prepare breakfast in advance for Henry or for me.  Plus, I can sneak healthy stuff into them without anyone knowing.

• Creme Brulee. (My dessert of choice at my surprise baby "shower" on Monday.)

• Pizza.  I mean, isn't it just so good?  And I have a new-found appreciation since it is a meal in itself, even without any meat. The next pizza joint Matt and I are going to try is Promise Pizza, which uses all organic ingredients.  I've heard it's good, and we have a coupon, which you need if you are going to be eating organic pizza.  Bonus.

• TACO DELI!!!  I LOVE myself some Taco Deli.  It is so dang good.  And I recently found out that they use organic eggs.  Very important, obviously. JK.  No, but it's just an added bonus.  Matt and I started a tradition during our first year of marriage where we go get breakfast tacos almost every Saturday.  We used to go to Rudy's, which is still good, which we still frequent.  But we were introduced to Taco Deli, and it is now the favorite.  I like the migas tacos.  And, oh my, they have the best salsa!  It's so dang good.  Taco Deli is located right by the hospital where I am going to deliver baby #2, and you better bet that (in addition to the breakfast I will order from the hospital) Taco Deli will be my first postpartum breakfast.

Wow.  To think I was going to cut off this post after the second sentence.  I had fun just writing about all the foods I am thankful for.

Thankful: Day 9 [One Month Till Due Date]

I am thankful that today is November 9th.  My due date is December 9th.  Until about last week, I was pretty darn comfortable.  Then all of the sudden last week, I started waking up in the middle of the night, swelling, getting terrible sciatic pain like all the time, etc.

I finally feel pregnant and ready to meet this no-named bundle of joy that's been growing inside me for the last 8 months.

Here's to one month with a whole lot of stuff to do!

Thankful: Day 8 [Sneaky Surprises]

You may remember that I don't particularly love baby showers.  Of course, I've had to get over that in the last 3-5 years because lots of people around me are making babies.  I've gotten pretty good at GOING to baby showers, even HOSTING them.  But, I won't lie and say that I was sort of relieved when we found out baby #2 was a boy because that meant that a baby shower was pretty much entirely optional and/or not going to happen at all.  (Don't ask me why... I think I just don't like being the center of attention in those particular situations.)

Except it turns out that I have a few sneaky friends who love to celebrate things, even against my "no baby shower" will. You may remember Sally - who I would easily describe as both sneaky and celebratory.  (She is pregnant with her 3rd girl, by the way, and we are due about 3 weeks apart, which is almost the same exact timing between Henry and Lucy- Sally's 2nd.  Oh yeah she has a blog.)  I think I can pretty much blame Sally for what went down last night...

I showed up at what was supposed to be a low key girl's night (with 4 other girls) to celebrate baby #2 and much to my surprise, there are 12 other girls there!  Sneaky stinkers!  Fortunately, it was still low key, but you know, they gave me gifts and stuff... stuff I totally don't deserve when I stiff-arm baby showers like nobody's business.

In case you were wondering, my nose immediately started sweating.  My nose sweats when I feel nervous, surprised, insecure, embarrassed, etc.  I can't hide it.  However, in spite of the nose sweat, I still felt so very loved, and am so, so thankful for sweet, thoughtful friends who ignore my baby shower anxiety disorder (that's what I'm calling it for now).

And I guess as long as I am friends w/ Sally, I can't expect to get away without celebrating ALL of my babies!  (I never blogged about it, but she and some other friends did this last time too.)

Thankful: Day 7 [New Mercy]

I wrote the following yesterday...

---------------

Title: Ever just want to start the day over?

I interrupt my thankfulness series to share with you some lovely things about today.  Matt will vouch for me - I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.  I do not want to be bothered.  It's mornings and days like these that I am SO easily bothered though - you know by just about everything.  Such as...

I woke up to find that the bones in my feet had disappeared.  Aka - Swollen.  This will probably (hopefully) get better, and has a lot to do with the fact that I ate a salty meal last night and didn't drink enough water yesterday.  Silver lining: swelling = I'm getting close to the end.  However, I wanted to puke every time I looked at my feet today.

Next, I get home from church to find out that my maternity jeans have a humongous hole in the crotch. I have no idea how long it's been there, but I work in the nursery at church, and I was definitely crawling all over the floor with babies, sitting "Indian style" (sorry, I know that's not PC), ALL morning long.  Nothing to make you feel better about 30 extra pounds than a hole in your crotch, huh?

Speaking of the church nursery.  I was in the baby room today, and we had SOOOOOO many babies.  And since babies don't know anything about daylight savings time or extra hours of sleep, those babies were TIRED.  And fussy.  And I did not have the baby touch this morning (aka they didn't stop crying).  And isn't it amazing that you can be holding something as sweet and adorable as a baby, but still have like ZERO patience when they just don't cooperate with you?  Don't get me wrong, I love those babies, but I was ready for church to be OVER this morning!

On top of this, I am bratty.  There are people God puts in my life that I feel like are a joy to love and serve - that I am excited to love and serve.  Then there are the people God puts in my life that are a pain in the butt to love and serve (just being honest)- you know, the ones that you just wish would go away, but God made them be your next door neighbor.  (And no, I am not specifically referring to my next door neighbor, or to anyone who would be reading this blog post...)  So yeah, I am no better than Jonah - and I have lots of Ninevahs.

It just spirals out of control from here... I don't want to hear Henry cry so I let him play with Matt's ipad for waaaaaay too long.  I get sciatic pain from pregnancy and I think I'm justified to spit out a cuss word in front of my 20 month old who, by the way, tries to repeat everything.  I want a cinnamon roll, and I end up eating one that has 770 calories in it.  (But of course I didn't look up the calories till after I finished it... you know, so I could dwell on it.)  Then when Matt gives me a look that says, "You need a new attitude like now," I look at him and basically explode with, "HOW DARE YOU TELL ME HOW TO ACT! WHY DON'T YOU TRY BEING PREGNANT!?"  Real attractive.

I know you guys think I'm perfect, and so this probably comes as a big surprise to you.  Whatever. This is just honest, and probably funny to some of you who know me better than others.  The point is that these are the days when I just want to start over.  These are the days when I know that I am a sinner, but I just wish that I wasn't because sometimes it just sucks to feel like a loser.  

-------------------

So today I am thankful for this:

But this I call to mind,
   and therefore I have hope
The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
   his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:21-23)

I suppose it's days like those that God makes it so abundantly clear that I will never ever not be in need of Him.  And the reason it's so great to have new mercy this morning is NOT that I have a clean slate so that I can try harder and be better today.  It's not about me getting another chance, but about Him being faithful to keep His promises (in spite of me), day in and day out.  That way I know that when God shows up and does something cool in my life, it's not because of me.

Thankful: Day 6 [Jesus Better than Santa]

I went out and got Henry the "Christmas Classics" DVD with the old school movies such as Frosty the Snowman, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, etc.  I mainly did it because Henry is starting to get really excited about snowmen (poor guy was born in the wrong city), and he made me sing "Frosty the Snowman" like 100 times in a row the other day.

So, naturally, the first classic we watched was Frosty.  You probably don't remember, but Frosty has a magic hat, and long story short, there's an evil magician who tries to melt Frosty because he wants that magic hat.  But SANTA intervenes.  He saves Frosty from the magician by telling the magician that if he hurts Frosty, then Santa will never bring him any presents again.  AND, if he wanted to get any gifts on Christmas morning (which was the next day in the story), then he better go home and write, "I'm sorry for what I did to Frosty" 100 times.

In other words, if you are naughty, pay back your debt by feeling and proving that you are sorry, and then Santa will reward you with Christmas gifts.

How thankful I am that God doesn't work that way!

Ya see, I was on the naughty list with no way of getting to the nice list.  Jesus was on the nice list, but he chose to erase my name from the naughty list and put his name where mine was.  Then he wrote my name on the nice list where his was. Now I get all the benefits of being on the nice list.  Talk about a great Christmas gift!

We have a debt to God we could never pay back, so He sent his Son to pay it for us!  Even if we tried to pay our debt by feeling sorry enough for hurting Him, we would always fall short - our best efforts are always, always, always completely lacking, completely incomplete. Only God could completely pay our debt. He did, and now we get the benefits of being children of God!

Thank goodness that the way we get good with God is NOT by any of our own doing, but by trusting that Jesus became sin on our behalf so that we might become the righteousness of God in him.

So today I'm thankful that Jesus is way better than Santa Clause.  And, no, I'm not a Santa hater.

Thankful: Day 5 [Saturdays]

Today I'm thankful that it's Saturday.  I'm also thankful for Saturdays in general.  By the time Friday rolls around, I am so, so, sooooo ready to have Matt at home.  I love Saturdays.

Thankful: Day 4 [Uneventful Annual Checkup]

This thankfulness series is ambitious, I can say that much.

I am thankful that Henry's annual surgery follow up went so well yesterday!  We saw Henry's surgeon, an ENT doctor, an audiologist, and a speech therapist  (I think that's what she was?).  They are basically making sure his development, hearing, etc. is all on track.  I guess if it wasn't on track, that might be a sign of pressure in his head or something?  Not really sure.  But anyway, we "passed" all the exams, and we don't have to go back for another year so that's nice.

Plus, bonus. Henry saw his ophthalmologist last week, and she and the surgeon have decided that we can space out his semi-annual check ups... now he only has to go to the ophthalmologist once a year.  Yippee!  The ophthalmologist also looks for pressure in the brain via the eyes with some pretty amazing equipment.  Henry's eyes look great.

We also briefly met a couple in the waiting area today whose little 6 month old girl was meeting with the surgeon for her two month follow up of the same exact surgery.  I was sort of bummed that I didn't get to talk to them longer because, as you'd expect, we NEVER meet other kids who have experienced the same thing.  It was so fun to see that zig-zag scar on someone else... not that I wanted her to have the scar, but you know what I'm saying.

Anyway, enough is enough. Thank you, Lord, that this appointment was uneventful.

Thankful: Day 3 [Big Boy Bed]

I like this series because I literally spent the whole day today thinking of things and trying to think of things that I am thankful for... so that's good.

I've thought of quite a few, but for today, I am going to say that I am thankful that Henry has officially switched to a big boy bed.  And, to add onto that, I am thankful that it doesn't so much seem like he realizes that he can get out of it by himself.

And, even though initially I don't feel particularly thankful that we have to re-endure him crying before he falls asleep (you all may remember I don't handle that well), I am going to choose to be thankful for it.  At least he has vocal chords that work, he loves us and misses us, he understands transition, he's growing up!  And, I'm sure enduring those tears does something else good in me, Matt, and Henry - though I can't say exactly what that is. :)

Here's a picture of his unfinished big boy room.  We just need to hang a few pictures on the wall and he will be set!

P.S. Today we are going to the annual follow up appointment for Henry's craniosynostosis. FOUR HOURS LONG! I will be sure to post an update. :)

Thankful to Whom?

I'm like 50% sure that title is supposed to read "Whom" and not "Who." So clearly that's not very sure, but I'm not willing to look it up right now.

Figured I should just go ahead and clarify that when I am saying that I am thankful, I am not thankful to the Universe, or to chance, or to something ambiguous like that.

So when I say I am thankful, I am thankful to God, the Creator of all things, the Giver of life and breath and EVERYTHING.  The Bible says that every gift is from Him.  And for those that love God, even suffering is a gift because He's working all things together for good.  It's great... there's no limit to what I can be thankful about... something as small as Halloween candy, or a good parking spot, or something big like salvation or even suffering of any and every kind. 

I think God probably likes it when we acknowledge Him in all of these things.  :) Thanks for letting me clarify.

Thankful: Day 2 [Halloween Candy]

Today I am thankful for HALLOWEEN CANDY!  I have a major sweet tooth. Everyone who knows me knows that.

On Mon night, we walked to a block party down the street because we had gotten an invitation on our door, and since we've been trying to meet some of our neighbors it seemed like a good idea.  The plan was to trick-or-treat after mingling for a while, but we ended up having such a good time that we never ended up trick-or-treating. AND (bonus) we met some neighbors who have a little boy just about one month older than Henry.

So, before it was time to leave, I realized that I was probably not going to be stealing a lot of trick-or-treat candy from Henry, which is the whole reason I wanted him to go anyway.

You can decide if this was appropriate or not - probably not - but right before we left the party, I took about two handfuls of candy from the bowl that the hosts (our new, previously mentioned friends w/ little boy) had out in their yard for the kids. And, you should remember that I have man hands- I can take a lot in a handful.

So maybe instead of being thankful for the Halloween candy, I should be thankful for my man hands. :) Or maybe I should be thankful for some new friends?  Eh, I'll keep it simple and stick with Halloween candy.

True Story: Yesterday, in an attempt to save myself from myself, I knotted up all of the leftover Halloween candy that we didn't pass out in a plastic grocery sack, and placed it at the very top of the pantry, hoping to forget about it. Then, 20 minutes later, I returned to the bag, tore it open, and continued eating candy.

Another true story: I had been saving a mini-pack of grape Nerds to eat after dinner last night.  When I finished dinner and went to look for them they were gone.  MY HUSBAND - the guy who NEVER eats candy or sweets - had snatched them!  I may or may not have called him a bad word... joking of course. Sort of.

Thirty Days of Thankfulness: Day 1 [Everyday Gospel]

Since it is officially the month of Thanksgiving, and since I would like to be intentional about giving thanks in all circumstances, I figured it would be fitting to do a 30 day thankfulness series for each day of November.

So, today, I am thankful for... an everyday gospel.

What do I mean by that?  Usually, when you hear the word "gospel," if you have grown up in church, you think "way to go to Heaven when you die."  We cheapen the gospel to this: God is holy, man sinned, God sent Jesus to die and be raised for sins, and if you believe that, you go to Heaven.

So sure, the gospel is not less than that, but if that was ALL of it, then it's no wonder there are so many who call themselves Christians who have no joy, no power, no peace, no fruit in their daily lives.  There's a big disconnect between today and eternity if the gospel is just the way to go to Heaven.  And, if that is ALL of it, then no wonder unbelievers mock those who preach that there is nothing more to it.

The actual "good news" of the gospel is that right now, I am reconciled to God because of what Jesus did for me.  Today, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.  Today, I am set free from sin, from anxiety, from fear, from slavery to this world.  Right now, because of the gospel, my heart is set free to live for the God who is worthy of my life.  Heaven is an extension of the work that the gospel has accomplished today.

Ultimately, the gospel is about how Jesus made it possible to be near to God.  Heaven is heavenly because God is there.  But God is also here, today, and we can have confidence to approach him if we have trusted Jesus who became sin on our behalf and gave us his righteousness, so when God looks at us, he sees his perfect and beloved Son.

That's what I mean by an everyday gospel, and that is what I am thankful for today. :)