just love God

Sometimes I just don't want to do what I'm supposed to do.  Wait.  Let me rephrase.  Most of the time, I don't want to do what I'm supposed to do.  What I know God wants me to do.  Typically, I want to want to do it, but often I don't want to do it... not from the outset at least.  Example for this post: loving and forgiving someone who unknowingly drives me bananas instead of "venting" (nice way to say gossiping) about them to my best friend.

Sometimes I will try to force myself to do what I'm supposed to do anyway, but usually I end up having either a) a bad attitude about it or b) a "look at me" I am soo good and a "bigger person," prideful attitude about it or c) I will eventually burnout because I really don't want to do that thing. (Like, I can overlook someone's annoyingness once or twice, but if it happens three times, then I might have a fit of rage.)

Even though I might temporarily succeed in making myself do the "thing" (in this case, forgiving and bearing with the person), I can't succeed at changing my own heart.  Man it's hard not to forgive just to "be the bigger person." Satan is so sneaky... if I am forgiving someone because it makes me feel better about myself, then I'd say I'm probably even worse off than if I stayed angry. Pride is always worse than [fill in the blank].

In scripture, God says that the the problem with me is that my love for Jesus is too small.  If I love Jesus, says the Bible, then I will do what he wants me to do, and it won't feel like a burden.  If I love Jesus, I will want to love someone and cover their annoyingness, instead of exposing their annoyingness to my best friend.  If I'd rather hold a grudge and not forgive, then I need to love Jesus more.

But how do I love Jesus?  We aren't born loving Jesus.  We don't do it naturally.  We are born loving anything and everything but Jesus.  If I love Him, it's because HE (the only one strong enough to do it) has helped me love Him.

God says in His Word, "We love because He first loved us."  So the way to loving Jesus is knowing that He loved you first.  Not just knowing it in your head, but believing it in your heart.  And, like I've posted before, we know that he loves us because he lived and died for us.  He took our punishment for us on the cross. When we experience that love, we want to obey Him.

So when you come to a point in your life when you don't want to do what you know that God wants you to do, then let that be an indicator.  A flashing sign.  You have a bigger problem - you don't love God enough.  I don't love God enough.  Sounds like really bad news until we remember that 1- He loved us while we still hated Him and 2- He really wants to help us love Him and 3- He's mighty enough to do it. 

Don't try to muscle through without loving Jesus.  Let him help you.  He can take you from not wanting to obey to wanting to want to obey, to actually wanting to obey, to actually obeying.  Maybe I'll share an actual example of this in the future, too.  "The one who calls you is faithful.  He will surely do it."

Happy Friday.