preggo mom brain

I've been seriously messed up in the head.

I have been putting things that belong in the pantry in the fridge and vice versa.  Example - nonstick cooking spray in the fridge.  There was another one, but I can't remember it right now.

More than once at the grocery store (or McDonald's), I have handed the cashier the wrong amount of cash.  Example - the total is $54, and I hand the cashier two twenty dollar bills, three five dollar bills, and five one dollar bills.  That's $60, if you weren't counting, but I could have just left the five one dollar bills out.

Or last night my total was $30.21, but I handed the cashier $30.50 instead of $30.25.  I should just tell the cashier that I wanted to see if they were paying attention, but that wouldn't be true.

Then today I was making an appointment for Henry to get his 18 month shots and his flu shot, and I originally asked for a 3PM appointment.  (After changing the day of the appointment twice.)  Then, after she had booked the 3:00, I asked to change the appointment for the third time, "Actually can we make it 3:30?"  The receptionist replied, "I have a 3:00, but not one at 3:30."  To which I replied, "Okay, great.  So the appointment is Wednesday at 3:30."  Obviously receptionist was probably like, "WHAT IS UP WITH THIS WOMAN!"  But I caught myself fast enough and said, "I'm so sorry, I am pregnant, and I have lost my mind.  We'll see you on Wednesday at 3:00."  At least she laughed.

That's all I got right now.

five mini posts in one big post

The following five items may not be blog worthy, but ready or not, here they are...

1. Yesterday at Costco, I literally watched a woman take three cartons of eggs (w/ 18 eggs each) and swap out all of the bad and cracked ones into a single carton... she then returned the carton with the bad eggs back to the shelf and kept the other two cartons with the good eggs.  I literally sat there, watched her do it, and then stared at her as she took the eggs back to the shelf.  She was not phased. I guess I'm not very intimidating. I was totally appalled.
2. Last night, Matt and I were on our way to a dinner date, and Matt sarcastically said to another driver (who obviously could not hear him), "Nice lights buddy" because this particular car had not yet turned on his lights.  It was about 7:30 pm, definitely dark enough to require headlights. At this point I realized our car felt a little dim and asked Matt, "Do you have your lights on?"  Nope, he didn't.  Oops.  We got a nice laugh out of that.
3. Another thought - ACL(Austin City Limits) is SO not my thing and never will be.  I know, I am not cool.  I went ONE time, and I don't know, something about a lot of drunk, smelly people and 100 degree temperatures surrounded by port-a-potties just doesn't appeal to me.  I didn't handle it well when I was 24 and not pregnant, so now that I am 27 and officially in my third trimester, I'm pretty sure I'd like it even less.  And my friends, who still consider themselves young and cool enough to go to such a festival, know that I hate it and know better than to ever try to bring me along. ;)  But more power to you if it's your thing!
4. The reason I am up right now is because I slept with Henry in the guest bed last night.  We have spoiled him recently, letting him sleep in big beds - something he's going to learn have to do on his own pretty soon anyway - but he's got about a 100% chance of falling about three feet to the floor at this point, so I decided I'd share the guest bed with him.  When I wake up in the middle of the night and look at Henry, he looks EXACTLY like Matt... so I guess there's not much of a difference which one I sleep with.  Except that Henry sleeps diagonally across the bed with his arms spread out, taking up at least three feet of space, and he tries to nestle his head into my armpit while pushing me further and further to the edge of the bed.  Matt, on the other hand, knows that cuddling and sleep do not go together in my book, so he lies perfectly still on the edge of the bed and gives me all the room.  Thanks babe.
5. Yesterday I officially reached the THIRD TRIMESTER!  I am 28 weeks! YIKES!  We tried to take a belly picture, but vain Leah kept me from liking any of the ones we took, so maybe I'll try again today.  In the meantime, our kiddo still has no room and no name.

oh, my naive, 19 yr old self!

So, I'm just now in the beginning stages of nesting as we prepare for number two, which has basically led to the cleaning out of closets.  As I have mentioned before, I LOVE throwing things in the trash.  I am a minimalist, and I hate extra stuff - especially extra stuff that takes up room in closets, or anywhere.

Anyway.  As I was cleaning out my closet, I came upon BOXES full of scrapbooks and scrapbook materials that are waiting to be finished.  I have a college scrapbook, a scrapbook from a mission trip I took to Zambia in college, two wedding scrapbooks, and THREE Henry scrapbooks - and all their potential pictures and scraps - taking up way more space in my closet than that of the future finished products.

So to get the satisfaction of throwing all the extras away, I actually have to do some work.  But anyway... while I was rummaging through my box of "college scrapbook stuff" as it is labeled, I actually did find ONE finished scrapbook.  This is the scrapbook I made for Matt for our one year "dating" anniversary.  So that would have been in October of 2003.

It was mostly hilarious and cheesy.  But one page stood out, by far, to me.  Let me retell the event I was documenting if you don't mind...

When I came home for Easter my freshman year of college, I made the most terrible mistake of asking my best friend, Sarah, to highlight my hair using one of those bleaching caps, where you pull the hair through one strand at a time and bleach it.  In my defense, I had a friend at A&M who actually successfully used one of these bleaching cap kits, but she was a natural blonde (I was not).

Also, I remember telling my mom my plans for that night, and that I was going to get Sarah to do that for me, and today I sit and wonder, "MOM, why oh why didn't you stop me?"  Anyway...

So, as you'd expect, it was a disaster.  And I didn't freak out much at first because it was really late on a Friday night, and I was totally exhausted.  But then I woke up on Saturday morning, and I saw the skunk-ish looking mess we had created, and I freaked out a little more, especially since I was going to be going to church the next day on Easter - sure to be seeing people that I hadn't seen since high school.  But, I knew that there were professionals out there who were supposed to fix these types of things... unfortunately, I didn't really know that "Tony and Guy" (in the mall) is not like super great at that kind of thing.  (Not trying to be snobby - nothing against Tony and Guy- they just aren't the people you go to during a disaster.)  Once again, I am not sure why I didn't get my mom to take me by the hand and assist me to a salon that could potentially do it right, but somehow on my own, I ended up at Tony and Guy, and when I left, I was BLONDE... totally blonde. No "highlights" or anything... just blonde.  At which point I went totally ballistic because the night before I was very brunette.

I'm not really sure where Matt was in this whole process.  I know that I was super disappointed that I had to spend the day on Saturday getting my hair fixed instead of actually hanging out with him, which would have been my first choice since we were dating long distance.  I DO, however, remember crying to him and freaking out after leaving Tony and Guy.  I also remember going over to his parent's house that night and feeling totally awkward because I had a new hair color and he had very obviously told them not to say anything because no one made a peep about my new blonde.  I felt totally self-conscious.  Looking back, I should have just embraced the blonde, but I was not so daring at that point in my life.  Or now. So anyway, back to the main point...

I don't remember how badly I acted that day about my hair.  I do remember that I skipped out on Easter Service- because obviously the way I looked at church was the most important thing on that day. JK.  And I remember crying a lot.  But nothing TERRIBLE.

So, back to the scrapbook.  I had a picture of myself w/ the bleach blonde and then a picture of myself with some at home brunette hair color in my hair (which I applied that Sunday- yes my hair took a beating that weekend).  And then I have written on the page a hilarious quote.  I wrote, "THIS DAY GOES DOWN IN HISTORY AS THE DAY YOU SAW ME AT MY WORST!"

.......

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  Oh how young and naive I once was!  If only the worst my hubs had ever seen me was upset over a hair dilemma! How great that would be...

Now, obviously I was not referring to my worst appearance, but worst behavior.  Either way, I am pretty sure after three and a half more years of dating and five and a half years of marriage, that I can come up with at least ten situations where I have been ten times as badly behaved as I was on that day.  In fact, I can probably come up with ten situations that have been worse in just the past two years.  This post, where I have documented two of them, comes to mind.

Well that took longer than expected.  Thanks for letting me share and lasting to the end.

.......

P.S. I feel totally better from the stomach virus, but I am technically still supposed to consider myself contagious.  In case you were wondering.

I just like racking up medical bills, that's all.

Last night I woke up at 3 AM on-the-dot after having a nightmare about getting sucked up by a tornado.  When I woke up, I felt nauseous, and I literally thought it was because of the "near-death" experience in my dream.

Then about 15 minutes later, I started to vomit (and the other crap - literally, pardon me) almost every 20 minutes for the next 3 hours.  At which point I was just dry-heaving.  So at about 5:45 am, I was feeling pretty gross and out of control and dehydrated, and since I have learned that dehydration can onset pre-term labor, I decided to call the after hours number at my doctor.

No idea the on-call doc would tell me to go to Triage at the hospital, but she did. So Matt and I woke up little Henry and off we went.  This post is about that lovely experience.

They asked me about 100 questions, as if I was actually in labor... way less exciting when you know that you have 3 months to go.  For those of you who have never been in a labor and delivery triage, they ask you everything from "Do you feel safe in your current relationship?" to "Do you live in a house?" to your weight.  When she asked me how much I currently weigh, my response was, "Too much."  She didn't laugh, so I went ahead and confessed the actual number.  Obviously I answered "Yes" to the "Do you feel safe in your current relationship?" question, but what I should have said is, "Yes, but I'm not sure my husband does."  Ha jk.

Immediately after a gazillion questions, the nurse left, and I vomited again - don't know how I was able to keep it all down for like an hour while she was interrogating me.

Side note: Since about 3 different people asked what the gender of the child was... and what I had at home, let me just say that people act like they are sad for me when they find out I am having another boy.  This kind of disturbs me.  Maybe because most people choose to only have two kids, so they think I don't have another chance?  I'm not really sure... either way, it's getting old to have to reassure people that I really am EXCITED to be having another boy.

I was really crampy off and on all morning - to the point that I seriously wondered if my cramps were contractions because they were consistent and they only lasted a minute or so at a time... but since they were monitoring my uterus, they were able to tell me that it was just cramps... and the cramps went away after they hydrated me via IV.  They also were TRYING to monitor the unnamed baby in my uterus's heartbeat, but he was literally so freakishly active that I had to just take of his heartbeat monitor, bc the sound of him moving was making me have a headache.  And I'm sure his movement was not very helpful in my effort to keep from vomiting and "you-know-what-ing."

So they did a few tests to rule out food poisoning and a bladder infection.  Get excited, but they had to take a urine sample via CATHETER, and let me tell you, getting a catheter put in (and removed) with no epidural is NOT A GOOD TIME.

Side note: the bed in triage is so uncomfortable that you seriously need an epidural just to sit in it.  Seriously, my whole back is sore from that bed this morning.

Also, my IV tube got disconnected at some point, causing blood to literally pour out from my arm all over the bed and my gown.  (You're welcome, those of you who love the thought of blood.)  The best part of this is that in my right mind, I might have actually put some pressure on my arm to try to stop it, but pregnant Leah just sat there totally helpless with her arm in the air letting it drip all over.  Something about having a nurse at your beckon call makes you act totally helpless.

After all the tests they were able to determine that it was most likely a stomach virus, not an infection or food poisoning. Although I am swearing off Mexican Food for at least a week, since that's what I had the night before.  So now we're just hoping God has mercy and that Matt and Henry don't get it.  Matt is currently disinfecting the whole house.

Clearly, since I am writing this, I am feeling a little better - keeping food down and I pretty much just have a terrible headache.  I just thought you guys would love to hear about my lovely "I'm not in labor but I get to go to the hospital" experience.

Okay, all done.

my brain can't think of a title so deal with it.

Deceptively Delicious FAIL.  This morning, I used steamed, pureed cauliflower in a Jessica Seinfeld recipe for peanut butter and banana muffins.  Sounds delicious, right?  Oh my goodness.  They were bearable right out of the oven- Henry had half of one- but I came home this afternoon and after one bite I couldn't have forced myself to finish it if I had wanted to.  Matt actually thinks they are good, which only tells me one thing... they must really be healthy.  (I must admit that the recipe called for an egg, which I didn't have, so Google told me to use mayo instead. Sick out. I still think it's the cauliflower that makes them disgusting though.)  This recipe was neither deceptive or delicious.

How bad would it be?  Would it be wrong if I just hid all of the toys that have a gazillion parts - even though Henry LOVES them - so that I don't have to get my pregnant self down on my hands and knees to fish them out from underneath the couch, the table, the bed, etc.?  I mean, Henry loves himself some mega blocks, but I seriously find blocks hiding in every corner of the house!  If mean mom emerges, she might hide all toys that have removable pieces.

Foot in Mouth.  In the 18 month update, I mentioned that I don't really have to chase Henry all day. Maybe that's because until this week, he never actually RAN.  Today at Target, he ran away from me, and he ran FAST!  Pregnant mommy chasing toddler = laughable.

I am beyond exhausted, so this post is over.