maybe think twice about that Jesus fish

This will redeem the last post about Reveille.

I'm on my way home from the gym today, and for once I am actually driving civilly.

I have to merge onto a highway, and have limited time (due to a short merging lane) to get over. I am going a little bit slower than traffic, but not much, and it's really obvious that I need to get over.

But the bleach blonde with giant sunglasses in the silver Volkswagen Beetle behind me decides that it would be better just to speed up and make me linger in the shoulder. So I did what I had to do and merged in front of her, admittedly going a tad bit slower than she was. Now, I realize that I probably could have timed this merge better, but it really wasn't that bad.

I then look in my rear view mirror, and without a doubt see her mouth very clearly, "What the (four-letter-word-that-doesn't-start-with-"H") are you doing?"

Now since I was trying to be civil but didn't think my driving warranted the f-word, I sort of just raised one hand with my palm facing upward to make a "why did you do that?" signal.

She then proceeds to speed past me via the left lane, proudly displaying... yes, a Young Life bumper sticker and a Jesus fish (icthus, what have you). Shame, shame, shame.

Of course, we both got stopped right next to each other at the red light just a mile or so down the road. Can you say, "awkward?" (For her of course, not for me.)

I suppose I can forgive her... although I know nothing about what it's like to have road rage. :)

"abreadcrumb and fish."

Sorry in advance about the title of this post. Just poking a little fun at our Christian subculture again (love the church)... but seeeeriously!? (If you don't know what I am talking about, click here.)

Anyway, have any of you walked past an Abercrombie & Fitch recently? I was out shopping for a friend on Friday when I decided that Abercrombie smells like a junior high dance. Think adolescent boys with acne and braces who are overcompensating for their lack of manhood with an insane amount of cologne. I asked Matt, and he admitted to wearing Abercrombie cologne in Jr. High and High School. No wonder he was so dreamy back then. :)

Why?

Okay, maybe you will think I am crazy after this post, but let's be honest... you probably already do. Let me preface what I am about to say with this- I love the church and the people in church. However, I can see why people think Christians are wackos. There are tons of little idiosyncrasies in American Christian subculture that are pleasantly entertaining if you have a sense of humor. If you don't have a sense of humor and a love for the church, then they are mostly just annoying. Let's be honest, churchgoers are an odd bunch - there is plenty to make fun of. Without a doubt, I'm guilty of a number of these oddities.

Here is one that keeps getting me recently. Pastors, preachers, youth group leaders that REFUSE to use the word "wife" for their wife. Instead, they must ALWAYS refer to her as their bride. Seriously people... why?

One of the first time I heard this phrase used, I was in youth group (maybe at summer camp), and the speaker explained that he never referred to his wife as "wife," but always as his bride. I don't remember his exact reasoning, but it had something to do with the fact that "wife" had a negative connotation. Of course at the time, I thought that was romantic and sweet. Now I just think it's funny and a little weird. But I still hear it from pulpits and sermon podcasts ALL the time.

All you have to do is imagine this word substitution taking place in normal conversations to see how silly it is. "Hey, have you met my groom, Matt?" "I just went to New York with my bride and my brother and sister-in law." "My groom is a real estate agent." Now do you see my point? People would laugh at you behind your back if you talked like that.

Surely you have now seen the light and agree with me. You can chuckle to yourself next time you hear it in a sermon. Apologies to the romantics out there.