"abreadcrumb and fish."

Sorry in advance about the title of this post. Just poking a little fun at our Christian subculture again (love the church)... but seeeeriously!? (If you don't know what I am talking about, click here.)

Anyway, have any of you walked past an Abercrombie & Fitch recently? I was out shopping for a friend on Friday when I decided that Abercrombie smells like a junior high dance. Think adolescent boys with acne and braces who are overcompensating for their lack of manhood with an insane amount of cologne. I asked Matt, and he admitted to wearing Abercrombie cologne in Jr. High and High School. No wonder he was so dreamy back then. :)

more you never wanted to know about the starbucks ditz

Note: See previous post.

If I am the only one who finds this entertaining, then that is perfectly fine with me.

• She apparently got in 6 car wrecks in high school.
• She wanted to get a Mustang, but she didn't want to get a "nice car" because she's been in so many car wrecks.
• She hates Math. (Could have guessed that one.)
• She wants a career in child psychology. (Read: Do your research before you send your children to a psychologist.)
• She twirls her hair.
• She is wearing a pink t-shirt, pink shorts, and pink tennis shoes, and she ordered a pink strawberry frappuccino.

You can argue that I am a terrible person for making fun of this girl, but I promise if you were here, you would do it too. (I am aware that doesn't make this right.) I am sure if I knew her, I would love her.

surely you will all agree that I watch too much TV

Have you seen this Cheetos commercial?



Well, now you have. And I feel like I am IN it right now. I am officially the only other customer left in this entire Starbucks store because of this dingbat girl who is talking waayyyy too loud for her own good. I am dumber for having listened to her.

Favorite part so far: (She's very clearly on a first coffee date.)

"My best friend, like my very best friend, we're like going to be each other's maids of honor - well, like she lives in Dallas, and earlier this year, we went like 4 months without seeing each other, and I was about to like DIE by the time I saw her."

Okay, I am mean. But it immediately reminded me of the Cheetos commercial, and I had to share.

Caution: soap box.

I am sure Matt will forgive me for including my own personal rants on "our" blog. I've been keeping this one in for awhile now.

A couple of weeks ago, I saw this TV commercial implying that high fructose corn syrup was healthy and natural. Of course, I was mortified. I am completely put off by the deceit of food companies who convince the general public that their food is healthy in an effort to increase sales.

Here is the commercial.



The website they are advertising, www.sweetsurprise.com, features several studies which conclude that high fructose corn syrup isn't bad for you, or that it is just the same as table sugar. (Let me go ahead and say that they are both bad for you, so comparing HFCS to sugar is sort of a joke.) The website also boasts, "The U.S. Food and Drug Administration granted high fructose corn syrup 'Generally Recognized as Safe' status for use in food, and reaffirmed that ruling in 1996 after thorough review."

Ever heard of a lobbyist?

So of course I appreciated ALL of the creative comebacks on YouTube, and decided to share my favorite.



:) Happy Thursday.

Why?

Okay, maybe you will think I am crazy after this post, but let's be honest... you probably already do. Let me preface what I am about to say with this- I love the church and the people in church. However, I can see why people think Christians are wackos. There are tons of little idiosyncrasies in American Christian subculture that are pleasantly entertaining if you have a sense of humor. If you don't have a sense of humor and a love for the church, then they are mostly just annoying. Let's be honest, churchgoers are an odd bunch - there is plenty to make fun of. Without a doubt, I'm guilty of a number of these oddities.

Here is one that keeps getting me recently. Pastors, preachers, youth group leaders that REFUSE to use the word "wife" for their wife. Instead, they must ALWAYS refer to her as their bride. Seriously people... why?

One of the first time I heard this phrase used, I was in youth group (maybe at summer camp), and the speaker explained that he never referred to his wife as "wife," but always as his bride. I don't remember his exact reasoning, but it had something to do with the fact that "wife" had a negative connotation. Of course at the time, I thought that was romantic and sweet. Now I just think it's funny and a little weird. But I still hear it from pulpits and sermon podcasts ALL the time.

All you have to do is imagine this word substitution taking place in normal conversations to see how silly it is. "Hey, have you met my groom, Matt?" "I just went to New York with my bride and my brother and sister-in law." "My groom is a real estate agent." Now do you see my point? People would laugh at you behind your back if you talked like that.

Surely you have now seen the light and agree with me. You can chuckle to yourself next time you hear it in a sermon. Apologies to the romantics out there.

Nutrition 101

Don't take a multi-vitamin or an omega 3 supplement on an empty stomach. You will eventually barf it up in H-E-B and the smell of fish and iron will abound. You will then have to call someone else over to clean it up and smell it. You will also realize later that the putrid smell has remained on your hands and clothes.

I should make money for this kind of wisdom.