Well hey there! I've got a secret!!

What's up, bloggy friends? It's about 4:30 am, and I have been up since 3:45 because I had to go to the bathroom. Then I couldn't fall back asleep because I read something the other day about how if I lay down on my back, the baby's weight could inhibit circulation both to me and to it. Technically, at this point in pregnancy, it's still okay to lay on my back, but you know, I was being paranoid, and pretty much every other sleep position wasn't working. On top of that, I was hungry. And alas, here I am. Long time no see!

I feel as though I should give you an excuse for not blogging, and I don't really have one, but I will try.

Last FRIDAY was my 16 week checkup. And, it was supposed to be a boring one- like get some blood drawn, get a Flu shot, pee in a cup, weigh in, and that's about it. Little did I know that the nurse was going to give me a FREE ultrasound! Oh yes, she did. Her name is Judy, and she is now my favorite nurse of all time.

Here's a picture of the little one. Its back is facing us, and its head is resting on the placenta. You can see the ribs!

Judy and I scoped out the area between the baby's legs, and as of last Friday we have determined the gender of our child with 85% certainty!!! (Judy wouldn't give me 100% because she's not a sonographer, just a nurse.)

Matt and I decided to tell only family members until we can verify the gender at our next appointment in October. I don't know if I have told you this before, but I REALLY stink at keeping secrets. My best friends in the world won't tell me stuff if they want to keep it a secret. (I'm still bitter about a few of those things - you know who you are, RACHEL.) But anyway.

I've been telling people, "We know what we're having, and we're not telling!" So unfair, and so rude, but somehow it satisfies my desire to tell the secret, while keeping it at the same time! It's a win-win.

By the way, if the child is what the nurse says that it is, then my dreams have been correct, and that is something which I will very much like to brag about. If the child is not what we have determined it is, then my dreams are wrong, and I am going to have a seriously difficult time adjusting to the actual gender AND to the fact that I was wrong. I'm not sure which would be a more difficult adjustment. Ha ha kidding.

Anyway, I've realized that people all seem to have an opinion about what they think the child is. My brother-in-law thinks it's a girl, my bikini wax lady thinks it's a boy, and the old wives are split down the middle. SOOOO, now that I sort-of know, I would like for people to guess. Perhaps this is a tad egocentric, but hey... if you care, leave me a comment with your guess. (Mom, you are obviously not allowed to guess since you already know, but you can still comment.)

a tribute to greedy doctors

So, if you've ever been pregnant, you have, without a doubt, been the ear to countless labor and delivery stories. Women love to exaggerate talk about the terror of bringing their children into the world.

The most memorable example of this for me was getting to hear it from the lady who did my last bikini wax. (Sorry if that is too much info. However, women, if you don't get bikini waxes, you should. It's worth all of the pain.)

Anyway, Natalie, my regular esthetician, was on vacation. (Btw, Natalie thinks I am having a boy. Not sure how she can tell that, but she claims to be like 100% accurate guessing the sex of her friends' children. Whatev.)

So this time, it was Brooke who was in charge of torturing me- both with the bikini wax and, much to my surprise, the tale of her labor.

The second I mentioned being pregnant, Brooke informed me that 6 short months ago she had delivered her first child- all-natural, at home, and it took her a whopping 36 hours to pop that sucker out.

My first question: "So why did you decide to have the child at home?"

She went into a spiel about how doctors are greedy, and they are on a schedule, so they just want to get you in and out as fast as possible. (I mean who would want that?)

She then took the next 45-minutes to recount, step-by-step, all the gory details of her labor. And instead of giving you the details (since I tried to forget them) I'll just say that she spit out a lot of cuss words.

I left feeling very thankful for my greedy doctor, who will gladly give me pitocin AND an epidural. Maybe it's just me, but it seems like a win-win?

last dream post

So, after reading some of your comments on my last post about dreams, I remembered a few more of my recurring dreams. I also had a few more dreams about my baby this weekend, and when I was recounting them to Matt, I remembered some that I have had in the last few months. Definitely worth sharing.

First of all, last night.

I dreamed that our baby was born early (like at 16 weeks, which would basically be next week). As you probably know, if our baby was born now, it wouldn't survive, but in my dream it survived. The thing is, in the dream, Matt and I didn't know that our baby had been born. We were in a waiting room where they just started handing out babies, and of course, since it was 24 weeks prior to the due date, we were very surprised to have our kid delivered to us.

*Side note. In this dream, the sex of the baby and the resemblance was the same as in my other dream about our child, which is making it more difficult for me to stay neutral on what I think it might be...

Anyway, Matt and I spent the rest of the dream carrying our baby around trying to find my doctor or a nurse who could tell us more about why our baby was born so early and why it survived.

*Another side note, at some points during the dream, as we were walking through hospitals and random buildings, we felt it necessary to "hide" our prematurely born child in a plastic grocery sack which also contained a couple pairs of tennis shoes.

When we finally found a nurse, she informed us that the reason our child survived was because of the expertise of our doctor, and that we were very fortunate he was our doctor because any other doctor would not have been able to save the child. Phew.

NEXT. "Beam me up, Mommy."

When sharing last night's dream with Matt, I remembered that earlier in pregnancy I had a dream that our child was delivered via "beam." Obviously it's weird, so let me explain.

I got to stay at home while I watched (on a beam TV screen) my baby be delivered by my doctor in the hospital where I was not present. Somehow, the child left my body and simultaneously appeared in the hospital room, Star Trek style. That was it.

Other recurring dreams.

In the last couple of years, I've dreamed that all my teeth are falling out. If you remember my dentist posts, then that might explain it.

Also, I have a dream that Matt and I are getting married (again), and that I am late for my wedding, or that I am at the church, and I can't find my dress, etc. I recently had this dream with a baby spin on it, but I'll spare you.

Finally, let me just brag that I dreamed I was pregnant before I actually knew for sure. In the past, my dreams have had a weird way of becoming reality. Be very afraid. Okay, enough about my dreams. New topic. Suggestions?

these dreams go on when I close my eyes...

Since getting knocked up, I have had some very strange dreams. And, in addition to the strange dreams, I've also had an increase in the same recurring dreams that I've been dreaming my whole life. I thought I'd share some of them with you, so you can tell me if you ever have similar dreams or if I am just a psycho.

First things first. Since becoming preggers:

• I dream that other people are pregnant a lot, and that they are due either just before or after me. The problem with this is that most of these people are either VERY postmenopausal (aka old) or their pregnancy would trigger what we like to call "a shotgun wedding." So that's fun.

• I have only dreamed about our baby one time, and in the dream we knew the sex of the baby and the parent it resembled. I will not be sharing this information until it is confirmed w/ ultrasound. And for the record, I have no idea what the sex is... even after the dream.

In Elementary School:

• I dreamed that the devil, yes Satan himself, lived in my parent's shower. That was my recurring childhood dream. Wow. Fortunately I don't have this dream anymore.
  

In High School and College (and even lately):

• I dreamed OFTEN that I was sitting in the high school gym at a pep rally or basketball game and that all of the sudden I realized I didn't have any pants on. (Totally bare from the waste down.) At which point I would inconspicuously try to make it to the restroom. At which point I would be stuck in the restroom with no pants on.

• Also I dream that I have forgotten to go to a class all semester long, and that I just keep forgetting until Final Exam time. In my dream, it's usually my high school chemistry class on Texas A&M's main campus. (Matt also has this dream.)

More Recently:

• I dream that I'm supposed to be playing in a volleyball game that is about to start, and I am running late. When I finally get to the game, I can't find my kneepads, uniform, sports bra, what have you, and there is always the fear that I won't get to play. (This actually happened my Sr. year of high school. Long story, but I fell asleep and missed all of warm ups, etc, and made it to the gym almost just in time to play. The coach actually didn't notice - lucky me.)

• I am about to go on a mission trip to Africa (actually did that), but I am close to missing my flight. I am always running through the airport, showing up at the wrong gate and having to go to the other end of the airport to find the right gate. A variation of this is that I am already on the plane with all my luggage, but I get off, and then I fret because the plane is about to take off without me. Another variation of this one is that I am on the plane and ready to go, but I don't have my luggage with me because I forgot to pack.

The common theme in most of these dreams (besides the devil one) is that I am either late or I am forgetting something. In real life I am hardly ever late or forgetful, so I am at a loss as to why I have these dreams. Anyone up for interpretation?? What are your recurring dreams?

don't be offended okay?

Is there anyone else out there who sort of thinks that baby showers are a total drag?

Okay, so maybe this is not really a politically correct opinion (and maybe I won't ever get invited to a baby shower again), but really, to put it nicely... this pregnant chick is not a fan of baby showers.

So it follows that I have been dreading a future shower since the day that I found out that I was pregnant. Really. I am not lying. Just the thought of it has been adding unnecessary tension in my life.

Now, obviously the silly games, finger foods, and slew of onesies and diapers are a lot more fun when they are for your future child. And obviously, getting all dressed up for this occasion is a lot more fun when you're the one with the pregnant belly and everyone's fussing over just how cute you are. But I keep thinking about the poor people who will be invited. (I know, so selfless.)

Once again, I know this post is not PC - especially since I've received baby shower invites from at least a handful of people who read my blog, and to you five let me just say, it was an honor to be invited to your shower.

Nevertheless, I feel like when the time comes to send out those baby shower invitations it will be equal to inviting a bunch of friends to be tortured together for a couple of hours. And I do not lie when I say that I feel like I would be doing people a favor NOT to invite them. But you can't really do that. You have to invite people. You can't say, "Look, I hate baby showers and I like you, so to spare you the torture, I'm not inviting you." That obviously wouldn't work.

My solution will be to make the shower more like a party. Here are the rules.
1. Keeping it casual. No sundresses. To ease the delicate girly atmosphere that contributes to uncomfortable and awkward small talk.
2. Takes place at night.
2. CO-ED. For the same reason as number 1. Plus for whatever torture there is, the men should have to endure it also. Seriously, how do they get out of carrying/delivering the baby AND the awkward baby showers?!?!?
3. NO GAMES. Except maybe one where people guess the due date, and then they can get a cool prize if they are right, but definitely no games that require attention or mandatory sitting still during the shower.
4. Real food -like a meal- not finger foods. Once again. Finger foods = delicate atmosphere = awkward and uncomfortable. (Appetizers are allowed.)
5. There will be adult beverages. (Of course for everyone else but me.) This contributes to the celebratory/party atmosphere.
6. In a perfect world, we wouldn't open the presents in front of people. However, I know that some people actually like to go find special, personal presents and LOVE to see there gifts opened, so in the case that a guest might take offense to this, I'd be forced to open gifts at the shower, but people wouldn't have to watch. There would be no rounding up people to come watch. (I personally, as an attendee and gift-giver, would prefer that my gift be opened in private, but that's just me.)

BUT, this brings up another problem. I'M NOT THE HOSTESS. I mean, OTHER people throw showers FOR you, which means they're shelling out the cash, and you don't get to be the boss. Which MEANS, that I might have to have a torture party after all.

Alas, the tension remains.