don't be offended okay?

Is there anyone else out there who sort of thinks that baby showers are a total drag?

Okay, so maybe this is not really a politically correct opinion (and maybe I won't ever get invited to a baby shower again), but really, to put it nicely... this pregnant chick is not a fan of baby showers.

So it follows that I have been dreading a future shower since the day that I found out that I was pregnant. Really. I am not lying. Just the thought of it has been adding unnecessary tension in my life.

Now, obviously the silly games, finger foods, and slew of onesies and diapers are a lot more fun when they are for your future child. And obviously, getting all dressed up for this occasion is a lot more fun when you're the one with the pregnant belly and everyone's fussing over just how cute you are. But I keep thinking about the poor people who will be invited. (I know, so selfless.)

Once again, I know this post is not PC - especially since I've received baby shower invites from at least a handful of people who read my blog, and to you five let me just say, it was an honor to be invited to your shower.

Nevertheless, I feel like when the time comes to send out those baby shower invitations it will be equal to inviting a bunch of friends to be tortured together for a couple of hours. And I do not lie when I say that I feel like I would be doing people a favor NOT to invite them. But you can't really do that. You have to invite people. You can't say, "Look, I hate baby showers and I like you, so to spare you the torture, I'm not inviting you." That obviously wouldn't work.

My solution will be to make the shower more like a party. Here are the rules.
1. Keeping it casual. No sundresses. To ease the delicate girly atmosphere that contributes to uncomfortable and awkward small talk.
2. Takes place at night.
2. CO-ED. For the same reason as number 1. Plus for whatever torture there is, the men should have to endure it also. Seriously, how do they get out of carrying/delivering the baby AND the awkward baby showers?!?!?
3. NO GAMES. Except maybe one where people guess the due date, and then they can get a cool prize if they are right, but definitely no games that require attention or mandatory sitting still during the shower.
4. Real food -like a meal- not finger foods. Once again. Finger foods = delicate atmosphere = awkward and uncomfortable. (Appetizers are allowed.)
5. There will be adult beverages. (Of course for everyone else but me.) This contributes to the celebratory/party atmosphere.
6. In a perfect world, we wouldn't open the presents in front of people. However, I know that some people actually like to go find special, personal presents and LOVE to see there gifts opened, so in the case that a guest might take offense to this, I'd be forced to open gifts at the shower, but people wouldn't have to watch. There would be no rounding up people to come watch. (I personally, as an attendee and gift-giver, would prefer that my gift be opened in private, but that's just me.)

BUT, this brings up another problem. I'M NOT THE HOSTESS. I mean, OTHER people throw showers FOR you, which means they're shelling out the cash, and you don't get to be the boss. Which MEANS, that I might have to have a torture party after all.

Alas, the tension remains.