it's endearing really...

If you've been reading my blog for awhile, you know that much of my blog consists of me, lovingly sharing with you the inner-life of Matt. This of course, is entertaining, because if you know Matt publicly, he appears to be but is not in fact always 1 - very serious, 2- practically perfect in every way, as Mary Poppins might put it.

Many of you have reported increased affection for Matt since I have started this blog - I don't know if it's because you feel like you know him better, or if you just plain feel sorry for him, since he lives and deals with me, but whatever it is... it is what it is. (I know some of you hate that term - I used it especially for you.)

So far, we have learned that Matt 1 - loses things a lot, 2- secretly loves to dance and is good at it but won't perform for you, 3- watches the weather channel almost as frequently as ESPN, and of course there is so much more. Up till now, however, I have failed to blog about a major idiosyncrasy of Matt's...

Did you know that my intelligent man is what I like to call "directionally challenged?" Oh yes he is. Big time. And now is the time to tell you about it.

I knew it was bad in college. There was a coffee shop, Sweet Eugene's, literally 1/2 a mile and two turns away from my sorority house. It was very easy; From the Sorority house you take a right, drive till the street dead ends, take a left, drive till you see the coffee shop. Somehow it wasn't clicking for Gibby. I think he got it by the end of the year and then...

I moved. One street directly behind the sorority house, but I still moved. And, as you would expect... utter confusion for Matt. I assure you Matt is not dumb - his brain just perceives space differently, and ineffectively for the sake of navigating, but I'm sure the way his brain works is good for other things like... well the Lord knows.

Anyway, this brings us to (not really but I am bringing us to) last night. Last night Matt and I were borrowing my dad's monstrosity of a truck, also known as "The Boss," because we had to use it to move a couch. Because of the fact that our street is narrow, and because of the location of where our neighbor parked her car, we were forced to leave our street going the opposite way that we normally go, which really isn't a problem because the street loops around.

So. We get to the end of the street where Matt is CLEARLY supposed to take a LEFT. Now, aside from the fact that it's just plain obvious which way he is supposed to go, we also go on walks through this place frequently, and trust me there is just no excuse. So Matt is at the stop sign, and I can FEEL it in my bones that he is about to turn RIGHT instead of LEFT.

Timeout - background info: I've been chastised by my loving husband in the past for telling him to turn right or left when we are in his own neighborhood (like the house he lived in for 6 years before going to college). Usually the control freak in me just blurts out, "Turn here," even though Matt is very aware of where he is supposed to turn.

Time in. So, contrary to natural impulse, I didn't blurt out, "Turn left," because 1 - It should have been obvious and 2 - I was learning from experience.

As you could expect, Matt turns RIGHT, and as you would also expect I immediately asked him, "Where are you going?" It takes a few seconds for it to click with him why I might be asking that question, and then he smiles (cause he knows that I know this weakness of his), and he says, "Oh, I should have turned left. I thought we were on a different street."

Sweet darling. What I want to say in those situations is, "C'mon babe, you're smarter than that."

There is another part to this story, and although I fear that this post is getting too long, I must let you know that...

Every now and then I play a game when Matt is driving and I completely keep my mouth shut about where he might possibly be taking us, even if I know that he is going the wrong way. This opportunity only presents itself occasionally because usually we are under time constraints. It is fun to figure out how long it will take him to figure out that he went the wrong way - usually it's not too long, to his credit.

Then there is the occasional time when I am not paying attention (i.e. on the phone, putting on makeup, sleeping), and he goes the wrong way. Usually my reaction to this particular navigation error is something along the lines of, "How does he ever get anywhere by himself!?" To which he replies, "Babe, you've gotta just go with the flow."

Yes, if your sense of direction is like Matt's, you have to go with the flow. Also, if your sense of direction is like my best friend, Sarah's, you get really good at going with the flow. Other people, like me, find no liesure in getting lost; it is a waste of time. Taking the scenic route on purpose? That's one thing. On accident is a totally different thing for which I have no appetite.

Now, don't you love Matt even more after that?

Random Happenings

Whether you care or not...

1. I attended Westwood High School's graduation last Wednesday night for the SEVENTH time in my life (1996, 1997, 2001, 2002, 2004, 2006, 2009). This time we were there celebrating Matt's bother, Meyer, who you should know if you didn't skip my Family Friday posts which I haven't finished and which I know you are absolutely upset about. Don't worry, if Matt's family doesn't move, I will have gone to 10 WHS graduations by the time the rest of the Giblets graduate, and I will be singing "On The Edge of the West Horizon" with my W up until I die. Not really.

2. Of course, as usual, the graduation ceremony was held in the Frank Erwin Center down near TU UT Campus, which means an unavoidable drive by TU UT's football stadium, which means unavoidable praises and shouts of acclamation coming from Matt's mouth toward the stadium - it's scary really. So this time, I beat him to it. As we were getting out of the car, and I saw him staring at the beloved field with the obnoxious jumbo-tron, I went ahead and spoke for him the exact words he was about to spew: "Oh, sweet TU Texas Football, you are so good. I love you!" Maybe you call it "being a fan" but I'm gonna call it "idol worship." Not really. Of course he exclaimed, "I was just going to say that." I know you were babe.

3. I know that I went to Texas A&M and Kyle Field is like the best thing we have to offer over there, and that I am technically supposed to be brainwashed and pour forth the same kind of affection as Matt does when we drive by TU UT, but I just plain don't. Sorry. Deal with it.

4. The other day I bought some cheap wine at the grocery store (gasp), and I got carded. You might think it's because I wasn't wearing make-up and because I look young, but I think I know the real reason, which was the other item I brilliantly decided to purchase at the exact same time... Want a hint? For starters, the last time you probably had this might have been when you were 10 years old. Give up? It was... FUN DIP. The flavored sugar that you eat with a candy stick? Yessir! Bam! I buy that goodness on a regular basis. Fun Dip and wine. Can you blame the woman for carding me? (Even though I go through the exact same lady's line every time. But whatev.)

5. The weather has been warming up, which means more bugs, which means... more lizards. And, in fact, I discovered that we have a couple of them living in our garage. I am actually okay with this, as long as they stay outside. After 2 years in our house, I no longer scream bloody murder at them when I see them like I did when we first moved in. The first summer we were in our house, we found at least 3 lizards INSIDE, not out... and one of those brave lizards decided it wanted to assault me when I was home by myself. I saw the lizard in my bathroom while I was on the phone with my BFF, screamed bloody murder, hung up with her, called Matt, and after screaming bloody murder for a few minutes and crying, he asked if I needed him to come home from work to get the lizard. After applying some problem solving skills, we decided that Justin, Matt's good friend and our neighbor, could come over and rescue me from the terrorizing perpetrator. In the meantime, I kept an eye on that lizard, and screamed every time it moved, because it obviously was trying to attack me. Justin showed up at the door a few minutes later, and I was terrified, holding back the tears. He got a plastic cup, scooped the little guy up, and let him go free outside. Game over. You need to know that I have an unrealistic fear of most every bug or crawling creature that can hop, skip, jump, or move really fast.

You're welcome.

Frowny Face

On Saturday night, I was driving along Duval Road from Mopac to 183. I was on my way to Rudy's to meet Matt and his fellow UT baseball fan friends for dinner since they had just gone to the game.

So I'm driving right along at about 40 mph, when I spot what seems to be a squirrel in the middle of the road. Thankfully, my eyes focus in time, and I realize it is not a squirrel it's a Chihuahua or a Mini Dachshund or something like that. So, I swerve just in time to miss the pup who at that point starts barking (my windows were rolled down).

YIKES. Thank the Lord I didn't hit that pup! But then I look in my rear view and I see a family on the sidewalk by the road trying to stop traffic and get the pup out of the road, and they have a kid and another dog with them. And then I see the doggy sort of dumbfounded, running back and forth in the middle of the street, barking, clearly terrified. And then what happens next is exactly what you don't want to happen next... :(

The car immediately behind me must not have seen the dog at all because he didn't even swerve. It was so sad. :( And I will just assume that after he felt the "bump" that he just assumed it was a squirrel because he didn't turn back, even with what I presumed to be the dog's family standing right there. Poor doggy. Poor family.

It's not everyday you witness a dog getting run over by a car. I'm sorry for telling this terrible tragedy on a Monday. It can't help if you have a case of the Mondays. I will have to redeem this with something funny perhaps?

boo ya fo shizzle

You know, in the last few weeks I haven't had the good fortune of encountering (or even creating) very many awkward situations - and Matt hasn't been doing anything too crazy either, much to my blog's dismay (and yours of course). I hate that Gibbizarre is in this dry season - lacking spice and flava - but I assure you, it shall pass. In the meantime, let me give you the headlines.

Matt is still losing things.
Matt did lose his sunglasses the other day. He eventually found them on the floor of his car. Yes, these are the same sunglasses that I found on the side of the road about a year ago. Trust me, I didn't panic when they went missing. I know, I know, this is not fun news.

I have ceased the typical blogger ranting...
...about whatever happens to be bothering me at the moment like how much I can't stand the song "Halo" by Beyonce. Okay, I haven't stopped ranting completely. But does anyone out there really like that song?

Twitter makes me and Matt both want to kick and scream.
In one week, I joined twitter, became obsessed with twitter, and now completely can't stand twitter anymore at all, even if it's a good tool in certain circumstances. I'll refrain from elaborating and just say sometimes when I read people's tweets I get ÜBER-frustrated. (My problem not theirs.) Am I the only one with twitter disdain around here? I know that at least Matt feels that way.

We had another Mars/Venus conversation.
Leah is wearing her new skinny jeans.
Matt: "You sure do like wearing those jeans."
Leah: "What's that supposed to mean?"
Matt: "It's not supposed to mean anything; you just wear them a lot."
Leah: "Well Matt, I don't have any clothes, so I wear all of my clothes a lot. Why did you specifically say that I wear these jeans a lot? Do you not like them?"
Matt: "No, I like them, I was just making an observation."
Leah: "And I was just clarifying your observation."
Matt: "I am just not going to say any of my observations out loud from here on out."
Leah: "No, you should make observations, but they should all be positive. If they are negative, or even neutral, then you should expect that I am going to ask you what you mean."
Matt (rolling eyes): "Okay."

Ladies, how would you respond to a comment like that?

Mars and Venus - Communication 101

Most of you know that male slash female communication is the most exciting part of any relationship. I thought I'd share some of our most common Mars/Venus conversations.

Matt loves when I use absolutes like "always" and "never."

Leah (usually while Matt is watching sports): "We never talk."
Matt: "We talked on Saturday night."

He also loves when I make him be specific. This is my favorite...

Matt: "You look so cute right now!"
Leah: "I do?"
Matt: "Yeah."
Leah: "Well what's cute about me?"
Matt: ... interrupted ...
Leah: "Is it my haircut?"
Matt: ... interrupted again ...
Leah: "Have I lost weight?"
Matt: "I don't know you just look cute."
Leah: "Did I not look cute yesterday?"

Surely he wishes he had never opened his mouth.

And this is one from awhile back when we were getting ready for something. Thank you, Amanda, for bringing this to mind.

Matt: "Are you going to wear that shirt?" (Note: I was already dressed AND it was time to leave = not a good decision for Matt.)
Leah: "What's wrong with it?"
Matt: "It looks a little casual."
Leah: "Well SORRY, I don't have any clothes, so you're going to have to deal with it!"
Matt: "Yes you do, you have a whole closet full of clothes."
Leah: "Oh really? Then YOU pick out my outfit!"

He refused. I don't remember if I ended up changing or not. We love each other.